Have you ever had to discuss class with your kids? If so, how did you do it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The OP's and one of the PP's attitudes are so sad to me. Remind me of my MIL.

I am white, but ethnically mixed, from an extended multiracial family of VERY varying SES. DH is Asian American and grew up upper middle class+ in the DMV. This thread makes me so grateful that he appreciates and wants our child exposed to Asian Americans and other POC of "lower" SES, recent immigrants, etc. Because YES, our child DOES have "something in common" with refugees from Burma and what-have-you. Or even "lower" class folks with a different immigration trajectory from my husband's own country. Not to mention Latinos, poorer black folks, etc. Sigh.

Asian-American here. I respectfully disagree. I don't think my 3rd generation Asian-American child has much in common with a Burman refugee. That's like saying you have a lot in common with a Caucasian Cuban refugee. Just because you are both white doesn't mean you should be grouped in the same group.

That being said, my children have friends from various backgrounds including many mixed children.

Why would she not have a lot in common with a Caucasian Cuban refugee? I'm black from a 3rd world country and my best friend when I first came here as a child was a third or fourth generation Irish American girl. We liked the same music, had similar personalities....it's sad that you assume otherwise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The OP's and one of the PP's attitudes are so sad to me. Remind me of my MIL.

I am white, but ethnically mixed, from an extended multiracial family of VERY varying SES. DH is Asian American and grew up upper middle class+ in the DMV. This thread makes me so grateful that he appreciates and wants our child exposed to Asian Americans and other POC of "lower" SES, recent immigrants, etc. Because YES, our child DOES have "something in common" with refugees from Burma and what-have-you. Or even "lower" class folks with a different immigration trajectory from my husband's own country. Not to mention Latinos, poorer black folks, etc. Sigh.

Asian-American here. I respectfully disagree. I don't think my 3rd generation Asian-American child has much in common with a Burman refugee. That's like saying you have a lot in common with a Caucasian Cuban refugee. Just because you are both white doesn't mean you should be grouped in the same group.

That being said, my children have friends from various backgrounds including many mixed children.

Why would she not have a lot in common with a Caucasian Cuban refugee? I'm black from a 3rd world country and my best friend when I first came here as a child was a third or fourth generation Irish American girl. We liked the same music, had similar personalities....it's sad that you assume otherwise.

PP said that her children had friends from various backgrounds.

[Anonymous]

OP again. He was doing great with books with pictures since he could often guess the words he did not know with the first letter and picture. Once the pictures are gone, he gets frustrated and can't sound out words unless they are very simple words like cat, hat, bat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. He was doing great with books with pictures since he could often guess the words he did not know with the first letter and picture. Once the pictures are gone, he gets frustrated and can't sound out words unless they are very simple words like cat, hat, bat.

Oops. wrong thread.

[Anonymous]

Maybe your kids will learn that every kid has potential no matter their background.
Or be a friend/role model for another kid from a struggling family. Or get invited to Nantucket/into an influential fraternity/be recognized for his merits and get a referral letter to a good college by the parents of his new friend from a wealthy family.
Or not get beat up in middle school because he's "cool with the tough kids" because they became buddies during these meetings. I completely understand your reservations about class, but unless you think he will be diverted from academics or get into drugs or something because of these kids, I am not seeing a big downside to doing it.
You can think about it as group therapy where the kids can talk openly about the challenges - potentially deadly challenges - of being a minority in America. At least your kid might pick up some empathy and understanding, whereas now he is probably insulated by the family and maybe doesn't even know that he faces potential discrimination.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We talk about it all the time. How affluent the majority of this area is and how it contrasts with how desparately poor so much of the other half of this area is. What is considered "middle class" in this area and how those opportunities we can afford contrasts to what their truly middle class cousins in the midwest have.

We talk about how affluence does not mean better although many in this area believe it does. We talk about character and kindness and compassion for others and that those with those traits are more valuable than material wealth.

My kids just turned 6 and 9 and we have started talking about these issues when appropriate. One set of grandparents is very well of, and has multiple homes my kids visit often, the other side of the family is comfortable but also includes an aunt and uncle that are struggling with employment. They see both and haven't really registered the differences yet because they are close to their relatives. I think it's good for kids to see all sorts of lifestyles and to realize that money does not equal happiness necessarily.

[Anonymous]

This is what I sense when I'm reading OP's post:
Are you saying you don't like the others because they have more/less $ than you? Or that you are 'intellects' since you are teaching in colleges. It sounds like prejudice.
You wrote your child liked the group. I'm not picking on the verb tense here but is she still in the group? Apparently, she tells you she likes it. Maybe cause kids are more open to other differences. They do not see differences the way adults to. The adult brain is shaped the way it is from exposure to different things in life and some are limited.

I can tell you that no matter what "class" they are, I can still pick out some parents that are very limited in their knowledge about the world. A person might be highly intelligent in a subject, like the attorneys and engineers, but that doesn't mean you know more in other subjects and accept more of things in life than another person.

I would try and explain the differences in people but that doesn't make the family all that different because everyone still have feelings, values and believes they hold true.