Have you ever had to discuss class with your kids? If so, how did you do it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My very kind and influential dc just got into a youth group that is supposed to be composed of people in their ethnic, cultural background. The only issue is that these kids have only one thing in common with dc, race/skin color.
They have nothing else in common, not country of origin, religion, language, social class, economic class....
We are different.
The idea for this youth group came from the school and it brings together kids from all over who are labeled the same way on a form with regards to race.
Most of the families are so very different from us. We are middle class (low middle) academicians who teach at local colleges. None of the other families was similar. Many wealthier, many with less money, most less educated. Overall very different.
They simply aren't people that we would spend any amount of time with.
More interestingly, I completely disagree with the opinions of the group leaders. I know that they are trying to help, but to me, they are making matters worse.
I need to explain to dc why this group just doesn't work for our family. Not an easy discussion. Dc liked the group....

You are pretty snobby, even though you doth protest. First of all, this is about a group of kids. The kids did not ask to be born into their particular families. It is not their fault that they are wealthy or less educated than you are, and yet you are discriminating against them because of who they are without giving them a chance. Do you trust your kid? If he likes the group, and the kids seem nice (and, guess what, there are nice kids in every socio-economic class), why would you prevent your child from making friends from different backgrounds? I think it's great for kids to meet people who come from different cultures, regardless of their class. This is the beauty of living in a diverse city.

Also, you need to get over your insecurity. As a professor myself with kids at a "big-3" private school, we do live in a modest house compared to many families in the school. But, I always tell my children that we make our choices. I wouldn't give up my incredibly flexible schedule and tenure for a big house in Potomac. Also, relatively speaking, we ARE rich. We live in a small townhouse, but it's in a safe, clean neighborhood. We always have food on the table, functioning cars, warm clothes in the winter, heat and AC, etc. We don't travel to Europe for the summers, but we do go on great roadtrips to national parks (and we have the TIME to do so). I know with my PhD in my particular field, I could have gone into the consulting field and earn multiples of what I do now, but I chose not to because this is the life I want for my family. My kids are friends with families who seem to have much, much more money than we do, and that's not a problem. Sometimes class issues come up, but they have so much in common that doesn't rely up class. They play soccer, minecraft, FIFA, etc. They watch silly videos on youtube and toss the football around. That is why they are friends, not because as parents we have so much in common. And, btw, the parents are pretty good people, too. I find that with kids, we have a lot in common, in fact.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My very kind and influential dc just got into a youth group that is supposed to be composed of people in their ethnic, cultural background. The only issue is that these kids have only one thing in common with dc, race/skin color.
They have nothing else in common, not country of origin, religion, language, social class, economic class....
We are different.
The idea for this youth group came from the school and it brings together kids from all over who are labeled the same way on a form with regards to race.
Most of the families are so very different from us. We are middle class (low middle) academicians who teach at local colleges. None of the other families was similar. Many wealthier, many with less money, most less educated. Overall very different.
They simply aren't people that we would spend any amount of time with.
More interestingly, I completely disagree with the opinions of the group leaders. I know that they are trying to help, but to me, they are making matters worse.
I need to explain to dc why this group just doesn't work for our family. Not an easy discussion. Dc liked the group....

"So, DC, here's the thing. You like this group. But these kids come from families that aren't like ours. Some of them are even poorer and less educated than we are. We would never spend any amount of time with them, because we don't spend time with people who are not just like us. So you can't, either, because God forbid you have fun spending time with people who aren't like you."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My very kind and influential dc just got into a youth group that is supposed to be composed of people in their ethnic, cultural background. The only issue is that these kids have only one thing in common with dc, race/skin color.
They have nothing else in common, not country of origin, religion, language, social class, economic class....
We are different.
The idea for this youth group came from the school and it brings together kids from all over who are labeled the same way on a form with regards to race.
Most of the families are so very different from us. We are middle class (low middle) academicians who teach at local colleges. None of the other families was similar. Many wealthier, many with less money, most less educated. Overall very different.
They simply aren't people that we would spend any amount of time with.
More interestingly, I completely disagree with the opinions of the group leaders. I know that they are trying to help, but to me, they are making matters worse.
I need to explain to dc why this group just doesn't work for our family. Not an easy discussion. Dc liked the group....

First, could you explain to me why this group just doesn't work for your family? Because I don't get the problem with associating with people of a different country of origin, religion, language, social class or economic class.

An Ethiopian-American probably has nothing in common with an African-American whose great grandparents lived in America. A Korean immigrant from Korea may have nothing in common with a Vietnamese-American whose grandparents were refugees in the 70's. Poor Mexican immigrant may have nothing in common with a wealthy Puerto Rican. Can go on and on.

OP here, this pp seems to have the closest understanding of where I am coming from. Every parent in some way selects their child's social circle. In this case, the school selected it and then some adults decided to tell the kids about their culture.
I remember years ago a Russian immigrant who was Jewish got upset when he found out that his child's teacher, who happened to be Russian, but Christian, decided to teach the four kids who were of Russian descent about Russian history. He said that the teacher knew nothing about his Russian history and he did not think it was appropriate for her to teach his son about that topic.
I feel the same way here. Attitudes and perspectives are different even within one country, but definitely within one race.
I don't want my kids to value certain things, I don't want them to have certain views.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My very kind and influential dc just got into a youth group that is supposed to be composed of people in their ethnic, cultural background. The only issue is that these kids have only one thing in common with dc, race/skin color.
They have nothing else in common, not country of origin, religion, language, social class, economic class....
We are different.
The idea for this youth group came from the school and it brings together kids from all over who are labeled the same way on a form with regards to race.
Most of the families are so very different from us. We are middle class (low middle) academicians who teach at local colleges. None of the other families was similar. Many wealthier, many with less money, most less educated. Overall very different.
They simply aren't people that we would spend any amount of time with.
More interestingly, I completely disagree with the opinions of the group leaders. I know that they are trying to help, but to me, they are making matters worse.
I need to explain to dc why this group just doesn't work for our family. Not an easy discussion. Dc liked the group....

First, could you explain to me why this group just doesn't work for your family? Because I don't get the problem with associating with people of a different country of origin, religion, language, social class or economic class.

An Ethiopian-American probably has nothing in common with an African-American whose great grandparents lived in America. A Korean immigrant from Korea may have nothing in common with a Vietnamese-American whose grandparents were refugees in the 70's. Poor Mexican immigrant may have nothing in common with a wealthy Puerto Rican. Can go on and on.

wow-- how sad you think like this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My very kind and influential dc just got into a youth group that is supposed to be composed of people in their ethnic, cultural background. The only issue is that these kids have only one thing in common with dc, race/skin color.
They have nothing else in common, not country of origin, religion, language, social class, economic class....
We are different.
The idea for this youth group came from the school and it brings together kids from all over who are labeled the same way on a form with regards to race.
Most of the families are so very different from us. We are middle class (low middle) academicians who teach at local colleges. None of the other families was similar. Many wealthier, many with less money, most less educated. Overall very different.
They simply aren't people that we would spend any amount of time with.
More interestingly, I completely disagree with the opinions of the group leaders. I know that they are trying to help, but to me, they are making matters worse.
I need to explain to dc why this group just doesn't work for our family. Not an easy discussion. Dc liked the group....

First, could you explain to me why this group just doesn't work for your family? Because I don't get the problem with associating with people of a different country of origin, religion, language, social class or economic class.

An Ethiopian-American probably has nothing in common with an African-American whose great grandparents lived in America. A Korean immigrant from Korea may have nothing in common with a Vietnamese-American whose grandparents were refugees in the 70's. Poor Mexican immigrant may have nothing in common with a wealthy Puerto Rican. Can go on and on.

OP here, this pp seems to have the closest understanding of where I am coming from. Every parent in some way selects their child's social circle. In this case, the school selected it and then some adults decided to tell the kids about their culture.
I remember years ago a Russian immigrant who was Jewish got upset when he found out that his child's teacher, who happened to be Russian, but Christian, decided to teach the four kids who were of Russian descent about Russian history. He said that the teacher knew nothing about his Russian history and he did not think it was appropriate for her to teach his son about that topic.
I feel the same way here. Attitudes and perspectives are different even within one country, but definitely within one race.
I don't want my kids to value certain things, I don't want them to have certain views.

Good luck with that. Maybe you should have just cloned yourself as opposed to giving birth?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My very kind and influential dc just got into a youth group that is supposed to be composed of people in their ethnic, cultural background. The only issue is that these kids have only one thing in common with dc, race/skin color.
They have nothing else in common, not country of origin, religion, language, social class, economic class....
We are different.
The idea for this youth group came from the school and it brings together kids from all over who are labeled the same way on a form with regards to race.
Most of the families are so very different from us. We are middle class (low middle) academicians who teach at local colleges. None of the other families was similar. Many wealthier, many with less money, most less educated. Overall very different.
They simply aren't people that we would spend any amount of time with.
More interestingly, I completely disagree with the opinions of the group leaders. I know that they are trying to help, but to me, they are making matters worse.
I need to explain to dc why this group just doesn't work for our family. Not an easy discussion. Dc liked the group....

First, could you explain to me why this group just doesn't work for your family? Because I don't get the problem with associating with people of a different country of origin, religion, language, social class or economic class.

An Ethiopian-American probably has nothing in common with an African-American whose great grandparents lived in America. A Korean immigrant from Korea may have nothing in common with a Vietnamese-American whose grandparents were refugees in the 70's. Poor Mexican immigrant may have nothing in common with a wealthy Puerto Rican. Can go on and on.

wow-- how sad you think like this

We live in a diverse area. My children are mixed Korean-American and Chinese-American. DH and I are Asian-American and grew up in America as did our parents. If my child was suddenly placed in a group with recent Asian immigrants, they really would have nothing in common. My children have never been to Asia. They have more in common with upper middle class white children. That being said, we have friends from all different backgrounds. One child's best friend is from Bosnia. Another child's best friend is mixed Asian and white. We are friendly with the parents but don't have anything in common with them. The kids are more interested in dinosaurs, pokemon cards, minecraft and super Mario brothers. That is what they have in common. It doesn't matter what we are into or what our race/SES is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My very kind and influential dc just got into a youth group that is supposed to be composed of people in their SES background. The only issue is that these kids have only one thing in common with dc, social class.
They have nothing else in common, not race, country of origin, religion, language, social class, economic class....
We are different.
The idea for this youth group came from the school and it brings together kids from all over who are labeled the same way on a form with regards to SES status.
Most of the families are so very different from us. We are white academicians who teach at local colleges. None of the other families are white. Many wealthier, many with less money, most less educated. Overall very different.
They simply aren't people that we would spend any amount of time with.
More interestingly, I completely disagree with the opinions of the group leaders. I know that they are trying to help, but to me, they are making matters worse.
I need to explain to dc why this group just doesn't work for our family. Not an easy discussion. Dc liked the group....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My very kind and influential dc just got into a youth group that is supposed to be composed of people in their ethnic, cultural background. The only issue is that these kids have only one thing in common with dc, race/skin color.
They have nothing else in common, not country of origin, religion, language, social class, economic class....
We are different.
The idea for this youth group came from the school and it brings together kids from all over who are labeled the same way on a form with regards to race.
Most of the families are so very different from us. We are middle class (low middle) academicians who teach at local colleges. None of the other families was similar. Many wealthier, many with less money, most less educated. Overall very different.
They simply aren't people that we would spend any amount of time with.
More interestingly, I completely disagree with the opinions of the group leaders. I know that they are trying to help, but to me, they are making matters worse.
I need to explain to dc why this group just doesn't work for our family. Not an easy discussion. Dc liked the group....

First, could you explain to me why this group just doesn't work for your family? Because I don't get the problem with associating with people of a different country of origin, religion, language, social class or economic class.

An Ethiopian-American probably has nothing in common with an African-American whose great grandparents lived in America. A Korean immigrant from Korea may have nothing in common with a Vietnamese-American whose grandparents were refugees in the 70's. Poor Mexican immigrant may have nothing in common with a wealthy Puerto Rican. Can go on and on.

OP here, this pp seems to have the closest understanding of where I am coming from. Every parent in some way selects their child's social circle. In this case, the school selected it and then some adults decided to tell the kids about their culture.
I remember years ago a Russian immigrant who was Jewish got upset when he found out that his child's teacher, who happened to be Russian, but Christian, decided to teach the four kids who were of Russian descent about Russian history. He said that the teacher knew nothing about his Russian history and he did not think it was appropriate for her to teach his son about that topic.
I feel the same way here. Attitudes and perspectives are different even within one country, but definitely within one race.
I don't want my kids to value certain things, I don't want them to have certain views.

Good luck with that. Maybe you should have just cloned yourself as opposed to giving birth?

+1. Do you really think that exposing your kids to different values and views is going to replace the values and views of your own family? So Christian kids should become friends with Jewish kids? Or Asian kids shouldn't become friends with AfAm kids? Or working class kids shouldn't become friends with upper middle class kids?

And you're in academia? I'm appalled. The whole premise of higher education is based upon the belief that exposing minds to other ideas and perspectives is a GOOD THING.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My very kind and influential dc just got into a youth group that is supposed to be composed of people in their ethnic, cultural background. The only issue is that these kids have only one thing in common with dc, race/skin color.
They have nothing else in common, not country of origin, religion, language, social class, economic class....
We are different.
The idea for this youth group came from the school and it brings together kids from all over who are labeled the same way on a form with regards to race.
Most of the families are so very different from us. We are middle class (low middle) academicians who teach at local colleges. None of the other families was similar. Many wealthier, many with less money, most less educated. Overall very different.
They simply aren't people that we would spend any amount of time with.
More interestingly, I completely disagree with the opinions of the group leaders. I know that they are trying to help, but to me, they are making matters worse.
I need to explain to dc why this group just doesn't work for our family. Not an easy discussion. Dc liked the group....

Is it possible that one of these other kids could be kind and influential also?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My very kind and influential dc just got into a youth group that is supposed to be composed of people in their ethnic, cultural background. The only issue is that these kids have only one thing in common with dc, race/skin color.
They have nothing else in common, not country of origin, religion, language, social class, economic class....
We are different.
The idea for this youth group came from the school and it brings together kids from all over who are labeled the same way on a form with regards to race.
Most of the families are so very different from us. We are middle class (low middle) academicians who teach at local colleges. None of the other families was similar. Many wealthier, many with less money, most less educated. Overall very different.
They simply aren't people that we would spend any amount of time with.
More interestingly, I completely disagree with the opinions of the group leaders. I know that they are trying to help, but to me, they are making matters worse.
I need to explain to dc why this group just doesn't work for our family. Not an easy discussion. Dc liked the group....

First, could you explain to me why this group just doesn't work for your family? Because I don't get the problem with associating with people of a different country of origin, religion, language, social class or economic class.

An Ethiopian-American probably has nothing in common with an African-American whose great grandparents lived in America. A Korean immigrant from Korea may have nothing in common with a Vietnamese-American whose grandparents were refugees in the 70's. Poor Mexican immigrant may have nothing in common with a wealthy Puerto Rican. Can go on and on.

OP here, this pp seems to have the closest understanding of where I am coming from. Every parent in some way selects their child's social circle. In this case, the school selected it and then some adults decided to tell the kids about their culture.
I remember years ago a Russian immigrant who was Jewish got upset when he found out that his child's teacher, who happened to be Russian, but Christian, decided to teach the four kids who were of Russian descent about Russian history. He said that the teacher knew nothing about his Russian history and he did not think it was appropriate for her to teach his son about that topic.
I feel the same way here. Attitudes and perspectives are different even within one country, but definitely within one race.
I don't want my kids to value certain things, I don't want them to have certain views.

I'm black and from another country. After moving here as a child, we lived to predominantly white neighborhoods. Culturally, I have more in common with white Americans because of where I grew up. That means absolutely nothing when I make friends, or with whom I allow my kids to associate. What if all the parents of the white kids in my school/neighborhood decided I wasn't good enough to associate with their kids because I'm black and from a different country. My kids have friends from all backgrounds. Our family was invited to an event for Eid and a Bat Mitzvah in the same month. My focus is on how the friends behave, not how much money their parents have, how educated they are, or what color they are. There is a picture from a summer a few years ago of DC and their friends that we joke looks like a Benetton Ad--not to date myself. It's sad you are so close minded.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My very kind and influential dc just got into a youth group that is supposed to be composed of people in their ethnic, cultural background. The only issue is that these kids have only one thing in common with dc, race/skin color.
They have nothing else in common, not country of origin, religion, language, social class, economic class....
We are different.
The idea for this youth group came from the school and it brings together kids from all over who are labeled the same way on a form with regards to race.
Most of the families are so very different from us. We are middle class (low middle) academicians who teach at local colleges. None of the other families was similar. Many wealthier, many with less money, most less educated. Overall very different.
They simply aren't people that we would spend any amount of time with.
More interestingly, I completely disagree with the opinions of the group leaders. I know that they are trying to help, but to me, they are making matters worse.
I need to explain to dc why this group just doesn't work for our family. Not an easy discussion. Dc liked the group....

Is it possible that one of these other kids could be kind and influential also?

I wonder is OP meant impressionable? Influential seems a weird way to describe a child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My very kind and influential dc just got into a youth group that is supposed to be composed of people in their ethnic, cultural background. The only issue is that these kids have only one thing in common with dc, race/skin color.
They have nothing else in common, not country of origin, religion, language, social class, economic class....
We are different.
The idea for this youth group came from the school and it brings together kids from all over who are labeled the same way on a form with regards to race.
Most of the families are so very different from us. We are middle class (low middle) academicians who teach at local colleges. None of the other families was similar. Many wealthier, many with less money, most less educated. Overall very different.
They simply aren't people that we would spend any amount of time with.
More interestingly, I completely disagree with the opinions of the group leaders. I know that they are trying to help, but to me, they are making matters worse.
I need to explain to dc why this group just doesn't work for our family. Not an easy discussion. Dc liked the group....

First, could you explain to me why this group just doesn't work for your family? Because I don't get the problem with associating with people of a different country of origin, religion, language, social class or economic class.

An Ethiopian-American probably has nothing in common with an African-American whose great grandparents lived in America. A Korean immigrant from Korea may have nothing in common with a Vietnamese-American whose grandparents were refugees in the 70's. Poor Mexican immigrant may have nothing in common with a wealthy Puerto Rican. Can go on and on.

OP here, this pp seems to have the closest understanding of where I am coming from. Every parent in some way selects their child's social circle. In this case, the school selected it and then some adults decided to tell the kids about their culture.
I remember years ago a Russian immigrant who was Jewish got upset when he found out that his child's teacher, who happened to be Russian, but Christian, decided to teach the four kids who were of Russian descent about Russian history. He said that the teacher knew nothing about his Russian history and he did not think it was appropriate for her to teach his son about that topic.
I feel the same way here. Attitudes and perspectives are different even within one country, but definitely within one race.
I don't want my kids to value certain things, I don't want them to have certain views.

I'm black and from another country. After moving here as a child, we lived to predominantly white neighborhoods. Culturally, I have more in common with white Americans because of where I grew up. That means absolutely nothing when I make friends, or with whom I allow my kids to associate. What if all the parents of the white kids in my school/neighborhood decided I wasn't good enough to associate with their kids because I'm black and from a different country. My kids have friends from all backgrounds. Our family was invited to an event for Eid and a Bat Mitzvah in the same month. My focus is on how the friends behave, not how much money their parents have, how educated they are, or what color they are. There is a picture from a summer a few years ago of DC and their friends that we joke looks like a Benetton Ad--not to date myself. It's sad you are so close minded.

NP here. Would you have wanted to be placed in a group of black kids just because you are black? How would you feel if your children were placed in a group by the school because of their race?

I do not agree with why OP does not want her children to be in the group but I can understand not wanting her children to stay in the group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My very kind and influential dc just got into a youth group that is supposed to be composed of people in their ethnic, cultural background. The only issue is that these kids have only one thing in common with dc, race/skin color.
They have nothing else in common, not country of origin, religion, language, social class, economic class....
We are different.
The idea for this youth group came from the school and it brings together kids from all over who are labeled the same way on a form with regards to race.
Most of the families are so very different from us. We are middle class (low middle) academicians who teach at local colleges. None of the other families was similar. Many wealthier, many with less money, most less educated. Overall very different.
They simply aren't people that we would spend any amount of time with.
More interestingly, I completely disagree with the opinions of the group leaders. I know that they are trying to help, but to me, they are making matters worse.
I need to explain to dc why this group just doesn't work for our family. Not an easy discussion. Dc liked the group....

First, could you explain to me why this group just doesn't work for your family? Because I don't get the problem with associating with people of a different country of origin, religion, language, social class or economic class.

An Ethiopian-American probably has nothing in common with an African-American whose great grandparents lived in America. A Korean immigrant from Korea may have nothing in common with a Vietnamese-American whose grandparents were refugees in the 70's. Poor Mexican immigrant may have nothing in common with a wealthy Puerto Rican. Can go on and on.

OP here, this pp seems to have the closest understanding of where I am coming from. Every parent in some way selects their child's social circle. In this case, the school selected it and then some adults decided to tell the kids about their culture.
I remember years ago a Russian immigrant who was Jewish got upset when he found out that his child's teacher, who happened to be Russian, but Christian, decided to teach the four kids who were of Russian descent about Russian history. He said that the teacher knew nothing about his Russian history and he did not think it was appropriate for her to teach his son about that topic.
I feel the same way here. Attitudes and perspectives are different even within one country, but definitely within one race.
I don't want my kids to value certain things, I don't want them to have certain views.

I'm black and from another country. After moving here as a child, we lived to predominantly white neighborhoods. Culturally, I have more in common with white Americans because of where I grew up. That means absolutely nothing when I make friends, or with whom I allow my kids to associate. What if all the parents of the white kids in my school/neighborhood decided I wasn't good enough to associate with their kids because I'm black and from a different country. My kids have friends from all backgrounds. Our family was invited to an event for Eid and a Bat Mitzvah in the same month. My focus is on how the friends behave, not how much money their parents have, how educated they are, or what color they are. There is a picture from a summer a few years ago of DC and their friends that we joke looks like a Benetton Ad--not to date myself. It's sad you are so close minded.

* closed-minded

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My very kind and influential dc just got into a youth group that is supposed to be composed of people in their ethnic, cultural background. The only issue is that these kids have only one thing in common with dc, race/skin color.
They have nothing else in common, not country of origin, religion, language, social class, economic class....
We are different.
The idea for this youth group came from the school and it brings together kids from all over who are labeled the same way on a form with regards to race.
Most of the families are so very different from us. We are middle class (low middle) academicians who teach at local colleges. None of the other families was similar. Many wealthier, many with less money, most less educated. Overall very different.
They simply aren't people that we would spend any amount of time with.
More interestingly, I completely disagree with the opinions of the group leaders. I know that they are trying to help, but to me, they are making matters worse.
I need to explain to dc why this group just doesn't work for our family. Not an easy discussion. Dc liked the group....

Is it possible that one of these other kids could be kind and influential also?

I wonder is OP meant impressionable? Influential seems a weird way to describe a child.

You are correct. I am on a tiny screen and I thought I typed impressionable.
Yes DC is easily influenced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My very kind and influential dc just got into a youth group that is supposed to be composed of people in their ethnic, cultural background. The only issue is that these kids have only one thing in common with dc, race/skin color.
They have nothing else in common, not country of origin, religion, language, social class, economic class....
We are different.
The idea for this youth group came from the school and it brings together kids from all over who are labeled the same way on a form with regards to race.
Most of the families are so very different from us. We are middle class (low middle) academicians who teach at local colleges. None of the other families was similar. Many wealthier, many with less money, most less educated. Overall very different.
They simply aren't people that we would spend any amount of time with.
More interestingly, I completely disagree with the opinions of the group leaders. I know that they are trying to help, but to me, they are making matters worse.
I need to explain to dc why this group just doesn't work for our family. Not an easy discussion. Dc liked the group....

First, could you explain to me why this group just doesn't work for your family? Because I don't get the problem with associating with people of a different country of origin, religion, language, social class or economic class.

An Ethiopian-American probably has nothing in common with an African-American whose great grandparents lived in America. A Korean immigrant from Korea may have nothing in common with a Vietnamese-American whose grandparents were refugees in the 70's. Poor Mexican immigrant may have nothing in common with a wealthy Puerto Rican. Can go on and on.

OP here, this pp seems to have the closest understanding of where I am coming from. Every parent in some way selects their child's social circle. In this case, the school selected it and then some adults decided to tell the kids about their culture.
I remember years ago a Russian immigrant who was Jewish got upset when he found out that his child's teacher, who happened to be Russian, but Christian, decided to teach the four kids who were of Russian descent about Russian history. He said that the teacher knew nothing about his Russian history and he did not think it was appropriate for her to teach his son about that topic.
I feel the same way here. Attitudes and perspectives are different even within one country, but definitely within one race.
I don't want my kids to value certain things, I don't want them to have certain views.

I'm black and from another country. After moving here as a child, we lived to predominantly white neighborhoods. Culturally, I have more in common with white Americans because of where I grew up. That means absolutely nothing when I make friends, or with whom I allow my kids to associate. What if all the parents of the white kids in my school/neighborhood decided I wasn't good enough to associate with their kids because I'm black and from a different country. My kids have friends from all backgrounds. Our family was invited to an event for Eid and a Bat Mitzvah in the same month. My focus is on how the friends behave, not how much money their parents have, how educated they are, or what color they are. There is a picture from a summer a few years ago of DC and their friends that we joke looks like a Benetton Ad--not to date myself. It's sad you are so close minded.

NP here. Would you have wanted to be placed in a group of black kids just because you are black? How would you feel if your children were placed in a group by the school because of their race?

I do not agree with why OP does not want her children to be in the group but I can understand not wanting her children to stay in the group.

I wouldn't care if my kids were placed in a group made up of black kids if the group had a positive goal. OP is objecting because she thinks she's better than all these kids/parents, without even knowing them. Her term is "class," so she clearly thinks she is a better class.