Have you ever had to discuss class with your kids? If so, how did you do it?

[Anonymous]

Just take your child out. I imagine that ALL the other parents will be delighted not to put up with your insufferable attitude.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My very kind and influential dc just got into a youth group that is supposed to be composed of people in their ethnic, cultural background. The only issue is that these kids have only one thing in common with dc, race/skin color.
They have nothing else in common, not country of origin, religion, language, social class, economic class....
We are different.
The idea for this youth group came from the school and it brings together kids from all over who are labeled the same way on a form with regards to race.
Most of the families are so very different from us. We are middle class (low middle) academicians who teach at local colleges. None of the other families was similar. Many wealthier, many with less money, most less educated. Overall very different.
They simply aren't people that we would spend any amount of time with.
More interestingly, I completely disagree with the opinions of the group leaders. I know that they are trying to help, but to me, they are making matters worse.
I need to explain to dc why this group just doesn't work for our family. Not an easy discussion. Dc liked the group....

First, could you explain to me why this group just doesn't work for your family? Because I don't get the problem with associating with people of a different country of origin, religion, language, social class or economic class.

An Ethiopian-American probably has nothing in common with an African-American whose great grandparents lived in America. A Korean immigrant from Korea may have nothing in common with a Vietnamese-American whose grandparents were refugees in the 70's. Poor Mexican immigrant may have nothing in common with a wealthy Puerto Rican. Can go on and on.

OP here, this pp seems to have the closest understanding of where I am coming from. Every parent in some way selects their child's social circle. In this case, the school selected it and then some adults decided to tell the kids about their culture.
I remember years ago a Russian immigrant who was Jewish got upset when he found out that his child's teacher, who happened to be Russian, but Christian, decided to teach the four kids who were of Russian descent about Russian history. He said that the teacher knew nothing about his Russian history and he did not think it was appropriate for her to teach his son about that topic.
I feel the same way here. Attitudes and perspectives are different even within one country, but definitely within one race.
I don't want my kids to value certain things, I don't want them to have certain views.

I'm black and from another country. After moving here as a child, we lived to predominantly white neighborhoods. Culturally, I have more in common with white Americans because of where I grew up. That means absolutely nothing when I make friends, or with whom I allow my kids to associate. What if all the parents of the white kids in my school/neighborhood decided I wasn't good enough to associate with their kids because I'm black and from a different country. My kids have friends from all backgrounds. Our family was invited to an event for Eid and a Bat Mitzvah in the same month. My focus is on how the friends behave, not how much money their parents have, how educated they are, or what color they are. There is a picture from a summer a few years ago of DC and their friends that we joke looks like a Benetton Ad--not to date myself. It's sad you are so close minded.

NP here. Would you have wanted to be placed in a group of black kids just because you are black? How would you feel if your children were placed in a group by the school because of their race?

I do not agree with why OP does not want her children to be in the group but I can understand not wanting her children to stay in the group.

I wouldn't care if my kids were placed in a group made up of black kids if the group had a positive goal. OP is objecting because she thinks she's better than all these kids/parents, without even knowing them. Her term is "class," so she clearly thinks she is a better class.

Different class. Not better.
I don't ever want a fancy car. I don't ever want my kids to define success by being in charge, and owning everything. These are some of the crazy (IMO) attitudes that were reflected there.

[Anonymous]

Is your child asking questions? What is prompting the need to have a conversation like this? Maybe if you get to the root of what is going on with your child you would be able to address specifically his understanding. I agree that sometimes these kinds of groups of varying economic status can be challenging, but in my experience our family has grown through these friendships and experiences in ways that outweigh the challenges. Blessings mama, you are on a journey!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My very kind and influential dc just got into a youth group that is supposed to be composed of people in their ethnic, cultural background. The only issue is that these kids have only one thing in common with dc, race/skin color.
They have nothing else in common, not country of origin, religion, language, social class, economic class....
We are different.
The idea for this youth group came from the school and it brings together kids from all over who are labeled the same way on a form with regards to race.
Most of the families are so very different from us. We are middle class (low middle) academicians who teach at local colleges. None of the other families was similar. Many wealthier, many with less money, most less educated. Overall very different.
They simply aren't people that we would spend any amount of time with.
More interestingly, I completely disagree with the opinions of the group leaders. I know that they are trying to help, but to me, they are making matters worse.
I need to explain to dc why this group just doesn't work for our family. Not an easy discussion. Dc liked the group....

First, could you explain to me why this group just doesn't work for your family? Because I don't get the problem with associating with people of a different country of origin, religion, language, social class or economic class.

An Ethiopian-American probably has nothing in common with an African-American whose great grandparents lived in America. A Korean immigrant from Korea may have nothing in common with a Vietnamese-American whose grandparents were refugees in the 70's. Poor Mexican immigrant may have nothing in common with a wealthy Puerto Rican. Can go on and on.

And that means that they shouldn't be in a group together? Why?

[Anonymous]

I come from a family who is very sensitive to class differences (not American, obviously).

You can only explain your departure from this group in terms of class if ALL the group belongs to one class, and you belong to another. Otherwise it doesn't make sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My very kind and influential dc just got into a youth group that is supposed to be composed of people in their ethnic, cultural background. The only issue is that these kids have only one thing in common with dc, race/skin color.
They have nothing else in common, not country of origin, religion, language, social class, economic class....
We are different.
The idea for this youth group came from the school and it brings together kids from all over who are labeled the same way on a form with regards to race.
Most of the families are so very different from us. We are middle class (low middle) academicians who teach at local colleges. None of the other families was similar. Many wealthier, many with less money, most less educated. Overall very different.
They simply aren't people that we would spend any amount of time with.
More interestingly, I completely disagree with the opinions of the group leaders. I know that they are trying to help, but to me, they are making matters worse.
I need to explain to dc why this group just doesn't work for our family. Not an easy discussion. Dc liked the group....

First, could you explain to me why this group just doesn't work for your family? Because I don't get the problem with associating with people of a different country of origin, religion, language, social class or economic class.

An Ethiopian-American probably has nothing in common with an African-American whose great grandparents lived in America. A Korean immigrant from Korea may have nothing in common with a Vietnamese-American whose grandparents were refugees in the 70's. Poor Mexican immigrant may have nothing in common with a wealthy Puerto Rican. Can go on and on.

OP here, this pp seems to have the closest understanding of where I am coming from. Every parent in some way selects their child's social circle. In this case, the school selected it and then some adults decided to tell the kids about their culture.
I remember years ago a Russian immigrant who was Jewish got upset when he found out that his child's teacher, who happened to be Russian, but Christian, decided to teach the four kids who were of Russian descent about Russian history. He said that the teacher knew nothing about his Russian history and he did not think it was appropriate for her to teach his son about that topic.
I feel the same way here. Attitudes and perspectives are different even within one country, but definitely within one race.
I don't want my kids to value certain things, I don't want them to have certain views.

So homeschool your child and keep them isolated until they only believe what you tell them and they never question you.

[Anonymous]

19:53 again.

I haven't explained class in that way to my children. They know who their ancestors were up to the year 1019 and what these people did to serve their country, but I don't want to instill a false sense of pride or disdain for others, like some of my relatives do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My very kind and influential dc just got into a youth group that is supposed to be composed of people in their ethnic, cultural background. The only issue is that these kids have only one thing in common with dc, race/skin color.
They have nothing else in common, not country of origin, religion, language, social class, economic class....
We are different.
The idea for this youth group came from the school and it brings together kids from all over who are labeled the same way on a form with regards to race.
Most of the families are so very different from us. We are middle class (low middle) academicians who teach at local colleges. None of the other families was similar. Many wealthier, many with less money, most less educated. Overall very different.
They simply aren't people that we would spend any amount of time with.
More interestingly, I completely disagree with the opinions of the group leaders. I know that they are trying to help, but to me, they are making matters worse.
I need to explain to dc why this group just doesn't work for our family. Not an easy discussion. Dc liked the group....

First, could you explain to me why this group just doesn't work for your family? Because I don't get the problem with associating with people of a different country of origin, religion, language, social class or economic class.

An Ethiopian-American probably has nothing in common with an African-American whose great grandparents lived in America. A Korean immigrant from Korea may have nothing in common with a Vietnamese-American whose grandparents were refugees in the 70's. Poor Mexican immigrant may have nothing in common with a wealthy Puerto Rican. Can go on and on.

wow-- how sad you think like this

Said the standard white American.
Honestly, how can you not grasp that this is the truth and the way it is?
and yes, I am a standard white American myself but at least I have a clue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My very kind and influential dc just got into a youth group that is supposed to be composed of people in their ethnic, cultural background. The only issue is that these kids have only one thing in common with dc, race/skin color.
They have nothing else in common, not country of origin, religion, language, social class, economic class....
We are different.
The idea for this youth group came from the school and it brings together kids from all over who are labeled the same way on a form with regards to race.
Most of the families are so very different from us. We are middle class (low middle) academicians who teach at local colleges. None of the other families was similar. Many wealthier, many with less money, most less educated. Overall very different.
They simply aren't people that we would spend any amount of time with.
More interestingly, I completely disagree with the opinions of the group leaders. I know that they are trying to help, but to me, they are making matters worse.
I need to explain to dc why this group just doesn't work for our family. Not an easy discussion. Dc liked the group....

First, could you explain to me why this group just doesn't work for your family? Because I don't get the problem with associating with people of a different country of origin, religion, language, social class or economic class.

An Ethiopian-American probably has nothing in common with an African-American whose great grandparents lived in America. A Korean immigrant from Korea may have nothing in common with a Vietnamese-American whose grandparents were refugees in the 70's. Poor Mexican immigrant may have nothing in common with a wealthy Puerto Rican. Can go on and on.

OP here, this pp seems to have the closest understanding of where I am coming from. Every parent in some way selects their child's social circle. In this case, the school selected it and then some adults decided to tell the kids about their culture.
I remember years ago a Russian immigrant who was Jewish got upset when he found out that his child's teacher, who happened to be Russian, but Christian, decided to teach the four kids who were of Russian descent about Russian history. He said that the teacher knew nothing about his Russian history and he did not think it was appropriate for her to teach his son about that topic.
I feel the same way here. Attitudes and perspectives are different even within one country, but definitely within one race.
I don't want my kids to value certain things, I don't want them to have certain views.

I'm black and from another country. After moving here as a child, we lived to predominantly white neighborhoods. Culturally, I have more in common with white Americans because of where I grew up. That means absolutely nothing when I make friends, or with whom I allow my kids to associate. What if all the parents of the white kids in my school/neighborhood decided I wasn't good enough to associate with their kids because I'm black and from a different country. My kids have friends from all backgrounds. Our family was invited to an event for Eid and a Bat Mitzvah in the same month. My focus is on how the friends behave, not how much money their parents have, how educated they are, or what color they are. There is a picture from a summer a few years ago of DC and their friends that we joke looks like a Benetton Ad--not to date myself. It's sad you are so close minded.

NP here. Would you have wanted to be placed in a group of black kids just because you are black? How would you feel if your children were placed in a group by the school because of their race?

I do not agree with why OP does not want her children to be in the group but I can understand not wanting her children to stay in the group.

I wouldn't care if my kids were placed in a group made up of black kids if the group had a positive goal. OP is objecting because she thinks she's better than all these kids/parents, without even knowing them. Her term is "class," so she clearly thinks she is a better class.

Different class. Not better.
I don't ever want a fancy car. I don't ever want my kids to define success by being in charge, and owning everything. These are some of the crazy (IMO) attitudes that were reflected there.

You can protest as much as you would like, but you have a bias and think you are of a better class. Otherwise, you wouldn't have chosen the word class. I have certain values that I instill in my kids, and if the kids in a group don't share those values, my kids are out. That's not a difficult conversation to have. "These are the values that are imported to our family, and I don't see this group reflecting theee values." Values such as being respectful to adults, not using profane language, not placing material possessions above personal relationships, and having empathy for others aren't class dependent. A person from any class can lack empathy for others or be materialistic. I suggest you explain your concerns to your child in terms of values rather than placing people into classes and making judgments.

[Anonymous]

Your kid enjoyed the group. So step back and get used to the idea that you won't agree with every decision.

Your kid liked the group, so why do you care so much if the kids don't share yur exact class status?

[Anonymous]

This thread makes me throw up.

So, so glad I moved out of this gross area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My very kind and influential dc just got into a youth group that is supposed to be composed of people in their ethnic, cultural background. The only issue is that these kids have only one thing in common with dc, race/skin color.
They have nothing else in common, not country of origin, religion, language, social class, economic class....
We are different.
The idea for this youth group came from the school and it brings together kids from all over who are labeled the same way on a form with regards to race.
Most of the families are so very different from us. We are middle class (low middle) academicians who teach at local colleges. None of the other families was similar. Many wealthier, many with less money, most less educated. Overall very different.
They simply aren't people that we would spend any amount of time with.
More interestingly, I completely disagree with the opinions of the group leaders. I know that they are trying to help, but to me, they are making matters worse.
I need to explain to dc why this group just doesn't work for our family. Not an easy discussion. Dc liked the group....

Why doesn't the group work for your family? Are you scared of your child mixing with people of different class than you?

[Anonymous]

My dad was a professor. My parents were education snobs. My best friend's mom was a poor single mom who had a lot of different boyfriends and had kids with different fathers. My mom hated that my best friend came from this family. She hated when I went to play at their house. Both my friend and mom were beautiful and always had pretty clothes. My parents did not value and/or could not afford fancy clothes for me. My friend was a straight A student and went to Columbia. 20+ yrs later, she is still the most kind and generous friend. Yes, her mom is on like husband number 6 or 7 and has had so much plastic surgery but my friend is humble and amazing.

We drive nice cars and live in a big house. I do not think we are materialistic. I go out of my way not to spoil my children. My kids are really sweet. They have friends from all different backgrounds. Sure, I am not especially fond of the family who allows unlimited tv and video games and eats a ton of junk food. I also don't like the family who seems obsessed with overly healthy food. Most people are somewhere in the middle. It all balances out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My very kind and influential dc just got into a youth group that is supposed to be composed of people in their ethnic, cultural background. The only issue is that these kids have only one thing in common with dc, race/skin color.
They have nothing else in common, not country of origin, religion, language, social class, economic class....
We are different.
The idea for this youth group came from the school and it brings together kids from all over who are labeled the same way on a form with regards to race.
Most of the families are so very different from us. We are middle class (low middle) academicians who teach at local colleges. None of the other families was similar. Many wealthier, many with less money, most less educated. Overall very different.
They simply aren't people that we would spend any amount of time with.
More interestingly, I completely disagree with the opinions of the group leaders. I know that they are trying to help, but to me, they are making matters worse.
I need to explain to dc why this group just doesn't work for our family. Not an easy discussion. Dc liked the group....

Why doesn't the group work for your family? Are you scared of your child mixing with people of different class than you?

OP, what background are you? Just curious what class you are from and what classes you do not want your kids associating with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad was a professor. My parents were education snobs. My best friend's mom was a poor single mom who had a lot of different boyfriends and had kids with different fathers. My mom hated that my best friend came from this family. She hated when I went to play at their house. Both my friend and mom were beautiful and always had pretty clothes. My parents did not value and/or could not afford fancy clothes for me. My friend was a straight A student and went to Columbia. 20+ yrs later, she is still the most kind and generous friend. Yes, her mom is on like husband number 6 or 7 and has had so much plastic surgery but my friend is humble and amazing.

We drive nice cars and live in a big house. I do not think we are materialistic. I go out of my way not to spoil my children. My kids are really sweet. They have friends from all different backgrounds. Sure, I am not especially fond of the family who allows unlimited tv and video games and eats a ton of junk food. I also don't like the family who seems obsessed with overly healthy food. Most people are somewhere in the middle. It all balances out.

I wish more people were like you and recognized the benefits of befriending people with differences. It can show you how human we all are and "bad" influences can also show us how we don't want to live as much as good influences show us how to live. What economic class doesn't have good and bad people anyway? As long as a child has good role models and parents to help them on their way, I think some exposure as a child to different classes and some problems of the world is desirable. Certainly we want to lay down the rails as Charlotte Mason says to help point them in a positive direction, but I'm not in favor of not letting them see out from the train. How can they make a difference in the world if they don't understand it?