On the other hand ... Why do men put up with women?

[Anonymous]

My XH put up with me because he anticipated he'd need a punching bag someday and heavily pregnant women typically can't run very well.

[Anonymous]

women have vaginas. It is that simple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. How else would I know about that speck of dirt that needs to be swept?
2. How else would I know how to dress?
3. How else would I know I need new friends?
4. How else would I know that my lunch is unhealthy?
5. How else's would I know that sex more than once a month is unreasonable?
6. How else would I know that she is always right and if I don't agree then we need counseling?
7. How else would I know that I load the dishwasher wrong?
8. Who else is going to overdraft the checking account?
9. Who else is going to hit the garage door with their car and then blame the garage door?
10. Who else is always going to remind me to be mindful of what the neighbors might think?

How did I ever survive all those years without her?

I'm a woman but this was awesome. Made me chuckle.

[Anonymous]

Money. Nothing else but money. Everything else is secondary or a pathetic excuse.

[Anonymous]

Since we're anonymous? Because she handles almost everything about our life together, and makes more money than I do. We have sex about twice a week. I have my doubts that she is faithful, but so long as she keeps paying the bills and does most of the kid wrangling, and leaves me pretty much alone, it's a good deal for me.

[Anonymous]

What about love?
Don't you want someone to care about you?
- Heart 1985


Sorry, I couldn't resist!

[Anonymous]

OP here.

I just posted on this same topic on the other thread, but it seems that the caring things women do (making your lunch, buying your clothes, picking up your underwear off the floor) are discounted. I don't mean to say they are the be-all and end all, but the fact that somebody cares enough to DO those things for you is important. Not that you couldn't do yourself, but that somebody cares enough to do them for you.

But. That isn't what we are seeing. Men say they don't care for the things women do for them, they just care if they have sex. I think, however, their care and comfort is important to them, but they aren't valuing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about love?
Don't you want someone to care about you?
- Heart 1985


Sorry, I couldn't resist!

I "heart" this post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do any men like their marriage?

I do. My wife is smart and funny and pretty and a great cook. I like having someone to hang out with and watch movies with and talk to without me having to make plans or do anything. She's just there. It's nice to come home to a house with a family in it, and not an empty apartment. I love my kids. I was definitely not nagged or tricked into having kids. I think I wanted them more than my wife did in the beginning. And my wife is a good mom. I wish we had more sex, and I wish we weren't so tired and didn't end up getting in stupid arguments as often as we do, but yeah, overall I like my marriage.

[Anonymous]

We're pretty and we smell nice!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

They dont care about things like having children (which women have complete control over ) or getting free work done?

If they truly dont care about things like reproductive access, free labor, and increased quality of life... then yes they are in fact dumb.

Men don't care about kids
Men don't care about housework even if it's free
Those things affect your quality of life, not his

Men are too cool to think about kids.

They only think about sex, sex, and football, right boys?

Men. They really are simple creatures.

Are there any men actually in this thread?

I'm a guy and I can tell you that men do care about kids. The problem is that we are more interested in doing so on our schedule than on women's schedule. Women are often driven by their biological clock. Men would rather get certain things done in their lives first. Either we want to enjoy their "youth" when we are young enough to do the physical things we want to do, or we want to get our career established, or we have other things we want to get done first. Men in their 40's are often more interested in kids than men in their 20's and 30's, but since we are so often paired off with women of similar ages, we get corralled into kids when we aren't ready or aren't yet interested. This is often why men who marry younger, then divorce and later remarry are more interested in kids with the second marriage than with their first. You'll also see a higher rate of interest in kids in men in their 40's who marry younger wives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sexless marriage is biggest issue for most men. They can live with just about anything else

Children and decent finances is the biggest issue for most women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I just posted on this same topic on the other thread, but it seems that the caring things women do (making your lunch, buying your clothes, picking up your underwear off the floor) are discounted. I don't mean to say they are the be-all and end all, but the fact that somebody cares enough to DO those things for you is important. Not that you couldn't do yourself, but that somebody cares enough to do them for you.

But. That isn't what we are seeing. Men say they don't care for the things women do for them, they just care if they have sex. I think, however, their care and comfort is important to them, but they aren't valuing it.

Actually, I think you'd get more posts by men that were more sentimental and appreciative of their wives if that other thread hadn't beat the hell out of men for the last couple of days. You can bet the men who read that thread are on here as well.

Speaking only for myself, I can say that, yes, I love my wife. I value her for many things, not just sex. But those things are companionship, support, love, friendship and caring for and loving our son together. I don't need a maid, or a cook, or a personal assistant. I grew up with a mother who expected me and my siblings to be very independent. I came into my marriage already knowing how to take care of myself. Most men don't marry for kids or domestic help. We marry because we fall in love with a woman we think we want to spend the rest of our lives with. There's typically no other agenda there. As for kids, we don't marry so we can have them, but once we do have them we fall in love with them. The poster who said we don't put up with women so we can have kids, but because we DO have them was correct as far as that goes.

All that said, and as much as I love my wife and as much as I'd miss her if she were gone, I'd do just fine without her. She can't cook worth a damn, she has mostly outsourced house cleaning, she does the bare minimum in the bedroom and, frankly, I'm a much better parent than she is. I don't think it would be better without her, but not for the reasons many of the bitter harpies list here and on the other thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I just posted on this same topic on the other thread, but it seems that the caring things women do (making your lunch, buying your clothes, picking up your underwear off the floor) are discounted. I don't mean to say they are the be-all and end all, but the fact that somebody cares enough to DO those things for you is important. Not that you couldn't do yourself, but that somebody cares enough to do them for you.

But. That isn't what we are seeing. Men say they don't care for the things women do for them, they just care if they have sex. I think, however, their care and comfort is important to them, but they aren't valuing it.

Actually, I think you'd get more posts by men that were more sentimental and appreciative of their wives if that other thread hadn't beat the hell out of men for the last couple of days. You can bet the men who read that thread are on here as well.

Speaking only for myself, I can say that, yes, I love my wife. I value her for many things, not just sex. But those things are companionship, support, love, friendship and caring for and loving our son together. I don't need a maid, or a cook, or a personal assistant. I grew up with a mother who expected me and my siblings to be very independent. I came into my marriage already knowing how to take care of myself. Most men don't marry for kids or domestic help. We marry because we fall in love with a woman we think we want to spend the rest of our lives with. There's typically no other agenda there. As for kids, we don't marry so we can have them, but once we do have them we fall in love with them. The poster who said we don't put up with women so we can have kids, but because we DO have them was correct as far as that goes.

All that said, and as much as I love my wife and as much as I'd miss her if she were gone, I'd do just fine without her. She can't cook worth a damn, she has mostly outsourced house cleaning, she does the bare minimum in the bedroom and, frankly, I'm a much better parent than she is. I don't think it would be better without her, but not for the reasons many of the bitter harpies list here and on the other thread.

Honestly, I wouldn't marry me, either, at this point. I'm not a bitter harpy, but I sure am an asshole. He's probably be better off without me.

[Anonymous]

Because she is kind, smart, funny, works hard, has very similar values, is the only person I felt totally comfortable with emotionally, gets that I love what I love and generally supports me in doing it-even video games , has me do the "man" things around the house but will always help if I need it, is hot...

Since sex dried up all of these things have become really muted, so not entirely sure. I do love her but without the sex the love is just kind of there, not something that I really get a lot out of. Women make the mistake of thinking that sex is about us getting off, but its 100% more than that, it is how we connect to our marriage. I know women don't get it but it just is the truth. Since the sex dried up I kind of see my wife completely differently, not really angry at her or anything but just differently. Women reading this take note, its not that we want to use you as a masturbation aid, its just without sex we don't really see you like our wife, just a person we spend a lot of time with......