13 year old boy and sleeping in mom/dad's bed

[Anonymous]

My DD would sleep in our bed when DH was out of town occasionally until about 12. I remember when my dad was traveling- I used to love sleeping in my parents bed w my mom watching old movies , eating popcorn, laughing.. I did that til about 13.

[Anonymous]

Slight twist: what about if you & DS are traveling alone? In our case, DH stays home for ski trips because he hates the cold & doesnt ski. DS & I stay in one room, because it's just the two of us & suites are a lot more expensive. I could see the same thing play out for college visits, etc. Not trying to hijack, but wondering if all the people saying 'no' would pay for a second room in this scenario?

[Anonymous]

If he is dressed and has his own blanket, I see nothing wrong with it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing wrong with it. 13 year old is a child and it is sweet. Try not to go all Puritan and push your loving child away. Boy, girl, father, mother, it is all fine. Only perverts see something wrong in it, because they imagine their own perversion in everything.

THIS

Every other country laughs at how weird we are with our lack of affection

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Slight twist: what about if you & DS are traveling alone? In our case, DH stays home for ski trips because he hates the cold & doesnt ski. DS & I stay in one room, because it's just the two of us & suites are a lot more expensive. I could see the same thing play out for college visits, etc. Not trying to hijack, but wondering if all the people saying 'no' would pay for a second room in this scenario?

Omg, I can't believe this is even a question. No way would I pay for a second room. When I took my 17-year-old DS on college visits, we stayed in 1 room every night of the trip. At one hotel, we couldn't get a room with 2 double beds, so we shared a king bed. Totally unremarkable in our family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing wrong with it. 13 year old is a child and it is sweet. Try not to go all Puritan and push your loving child away. Boy, girl, father, mother, it is all fine. Only perverts see something wrong in it, because they imagine their own perversion in everything.

THIS

Every other country laughs at how weird we are with our lack of affection

No they don't.

Actually I am an immigrant, and I find this lack of affection amongst family members a little weird. A 13 year old boy is still a child. I would not be in a hurry for him to grow. Love and affection at home makes a child confident and secure.

If your child wants to sleep in the same room as you, in an adjacent space on a big bed, or lie with you on the couch while you watch a movie, and you think it is somehow inappropriate or sexual, then I can only surmise that you have been sexually abused as a child. This is not a normal reaction of parents.

Native-born American here who totally agrees with you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Does he like to cuddle and be affectionate at other times? Or just when his dad is gone? That's the part that honestly creeps me out the most...

What is wrong with the people. When the dad is away, there is space in the bed. The kids is not making a move on his mom b/c he dad is out of town.

I don't think there is anything wrong with it. I assume mom and DS are both wearing pajamas. They way I picture it the are chatting and laughing until they fall asleep on their own sides of the bed.
My DS is only 7 but in our house there is something about bed time that makes him open up. So if he were 13 and he wanted to sleep with me occasionally I would think it would be great opportunity to have some fun talks with him.


Op here- yes the scenario is most like your vision. Jeez people - he's a little immature in some ways and this is a rare thing- like once every couple of months. I just think he's at that age where he's sometimes a teen and sometimes a little boy. And while I was the one to pose the question, I've decided I'm good with it and it feels for our situation perfectly normal. I regret letting the doubt enter my mind.

What does your husband say about it?

He should make the final call in this scenario

This makes zero sense. If there's something wrong with what she is doing, she shouldn't do it regardless of what her DH thinks. If there's nothing wrong with what she's doing, why would she need to ask her DH about it?

[Anonymous]

This thread is crazy. My kids rotate sleeping in my bed when DH is traveling. Boys and girls ages elementary through high school. Nothing odd or weird about it. I have boys who do travel sports. We always get one room regardless of which parent is going. While I would love two beds since I have a 6' 2" sophomore who kicks in his sleep, it doesn't always happen. God bless the woman he ends up with....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing wrong with it. 13 year old is a child and it is sweet. Try not to go all Puritan and push your loving child away. Boy, girl, father, mother, it is all fine. Only perverts see something wrong in it, because they imagine their own perversion in everything.

THIS

Every other country laughs at how weird we are with our lack of affection

No they don't.

Actually I am an immigrant, and I find this lack of affection amongst family members a little weird. A 13 year old boy is still a child. I would not be in a hurry for him to grow. Love and affection at home makes a child confident and secure.

If your child wants to sleep in the same room as you, in an adjacent space on a big bed, or lie with you on the couch while you watch a movie, and you think it is somehow inappropriate or sexual, then I can only surmise that you have been sexually abused as a child. This is not a normal reaction of parents.

Native-born American here who totally agrees with you.

Italian here, I agree as well.
But then again even same-gender friends here find it weird to share a bed when travelling, etc. so...maybe it is because there is more room than in Europe and people are not used to sharing space very much in general.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How would you answer this question if a Dad were asking about his 13 yo daughter?

yeah

this

Kid's too old to be doing that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing wrong with it. 13 year old is a child and it is sweet. Try not to go all Puritan and push your loving child away. Boy, girl, father, mother, it is all fine. Only perverts see something wrong in it, because they imagine their own perversion in everything.

THIS

Every other country laughs at how weird we are with our lack of affection

No they don't.

Actually I am an immigrant, and I find this lack of affection amongst family members a little weird. A 13 year old boy is still a child. I would not be in a hurry for him to grow. Love and affection at home makes a child confident and secure.

If your child wants to sleep in the same room as you, in an adjacent space on a big bed, or lie with you on the couch while you watch a movie, and you think it is somehow inappropriate or sexual, then I can only surmise that you have been sexually abused as a child. This is not a normal reaction of parents.

Native-born American here who totally agrees with you.

Italian here, I agree as well.
But then again even same-gender friends here find it weird to share a bed when travelling, etc. so...maybe it is because there is more room than in Europe and people are not used to sharing space very much in general.

uh

I'm Italian and never slept in my parents' bed at that age, nor would I allow it to happen with my own children. It's one thing to be affettuoso, quite another to sleep with your teen children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread is crazy. My kids rotate sleeping in my bed when DH is traveling. Boys and girls ages elementary through high school. Nothing odd or weird about it. I have boys who do travel sports. We always get one room regardless of which parent is going. While I would love two beds since I have a 6' 2" sophomore who kicks in his sleep, it doesn't always happen. God bless the woman he ends up with....

Your HS kids sleep in your bed?

This is what's wrong with kids today! creepy parents who have NO boundaries

yuck

[Anonymous]

Both of my sons did this until they were about 16. They are both anxious, and I don't think they liked sleeping alone. They sometimes claimed it was because they wanted to sleep with the dogs who also share our bed.

[Anonymous]

I think as previously stated, the bottom line is if you aren't doing anything wrong then you're not doing anything wrong. My 13 year old son slerpa in his own room but loves to get up early and come crash with me for an hour before school. And it's great . He is my son, my heart and soul. I think it's a blessing that he still likes to be close to his mom..He will be a man before I know it and all this will be behind us. Provided you are a good parent then I think all the affection and closeness you get with your child should be welcomed. People are too nosy and opinionated about this matter.. Whatever works for your child is what matters.

[Anonymous]

I guess I’m in the minority but when my husband travels for work my 3 kids take turns having a sleepover with me in our big king bed. We are in full PJs and they just think my big bed is more comfortable. I think it’s fun too. They are 9, 11, 13. No big deal, they’ll stop when they want to.