Late Twenties DH is SO BORING!

[Anonymous]

I don't think you're being unreasonable OP and I think some people here are quite mean to criticize you here.

If I were you, I would start living on a budget that you and DH agree to. Set aside an agreed upon savings each week for your goal (Paris trip) and his goal (whatever that might be). Work together and make it a fun game. My DH and I both grew up with the most frugal (depression era parents). They saved aluminum foil and bags!

We decided that we would take at least one trip a year. We saved parts of each of our paychecks. I would take on extra work if I were you (babysitting, tutoring, cleaning, whatever) and set aside that money.

When you are married, you need to work together for common goals. I understand many 20 something guys are addicted to video games, so I know where you're coming from. Get him to work on some new goals too and try not to judge and complain. He'll respond much better if you seek his involvement and advice. He probably had cheap/frugal parents like mine and my DH's.

Good luck and come back here if you have questions.

[Anonymous]

Listening to your friends will get you divorced.

You and your husband need to discuss this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Listening to your friends will get you divorced.

Truest words in this thread. This is especially true when you're younger. Friends in their 20's (especially if they're unmarried themselves) are the worst sources of advice.

[Anonymous]

Maybe this is just a starter marriage OP. Happens all the time but look carefully at what you do and don't have in common. How much have YOU changed. Get out sooner than later if thats what you decide. I know several people who had starter marriages in their 20s. Learned a lot and all happily on second marriages now with kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got married inlay school at 24. DH loves video games, I'm more social. We saved and saved, and coincidently I've always wanted to go to Paris. We had our first child at 27, after trying for a year. We just built our first house out in the burbs, and moved in over thanksgiving. We are 28/29. Now, we are saving for a trip to Paris for my 30th bday next year. That being said, there is compromise. My DH is "frugal," but that doesn't mean we can't afford it. And I'm not with him for the paycheck, as I make significantly more than him. We have financial goals that we both agree to, and fun stuff we save up for. In between, we go to restaurants, concerts, muesums, and the like. We aren't big drinkers, so not into the bar scene, but that's something less expensive and still fun you could do. Late twenties, with a baby, doesn't have to be so bad!

This is the OP. I really have wanted to go to Paris while I'm still young enough to enjoy it and sans children. We aren't struggling but with school loans and non lawyer jobs, we are on a tight budget. My dh isn't an idiot, he just doesn't think its smart to blow our savings for a trip to Paris. I however think we can easily do a cheap Paris trip by staying with one of his longtime Parisian friends and saving on lodging. We could then just eat selectively and make sure its a cheap trip. I think we can do that for 5 days for about 3K and I'm willingly contributing half.

Would that longtime Parisian friend of his be willing to host you? Maybe your DH knows that the friend wouldn't, and so is trying to tell you the trip wouldn't be feasible.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I think I'm thinking of saving most of my next couple of pay checks so I can create a Paris fund.

Thanks for all the feedback! My dh wants to go but he wants to give me a nice time and doesn't want to slum it. He's a Francophile and lived in Paris while growing up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I think I'm thinking of saving most of my next couple of pay checks so I can create a Paris fund.

Thanks for all the feedback! My dh wants to go but he wants to give me a nice time and doesn't want to slum it. He's a Francophile and lived in Paris while growing up.

Bravo, OP!

(Make sure you live within a budget. There are so many threads with women who never learned the basics or couples having arguments over how they spend their money that leads to divorce.)

In terms of having more social times with your DH, invite people over. Have a fondue party. Or do a wine tasting--everyone bring a bottle from a region of France. (Decent wine can be $10-25 a bottle.)

Enjoy your life!

[Anonymous]

Maybe you could pay for the trip to Paris out of your own money?

^ this

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Listening to your friends will get you divorced.

Truest words in this thread. This is especially true when you're younger. Friends in their 20's (especially if they're unmarried themselves) are the worst sources of advice.

+1

[Anonymous]

if you go early march, air fare should be lower and you should be able to do the trip under 3k. the dollar is strong.

budget 150 to 175/day for food/tourism, and the rest for plane fare. you will be eating breakfast with host, which means going out for patisserie, baguette, etc, but that's cheap. eat sandwiches and crepes for lunch and do nice, but not extravagant meals for dinner---plenty of great places with a full menu for 40 euro. you will have to restrain shopping impulse. metro/walk everywhere.

[Anonymous]

The way I see it is the issue is not that he is boring, it is that she is a harpie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're still under the weight of student loans then blowing savings for a trip to Paris at 24 is financially stupid. I don't care which one of you pays for it, it's simply not smart. You'll be much more financially independent later in life if you act responsibly early in life.

Money buys freedom. Don't waste it on the frivolous. Paris can be enjoyed just as easily at 34 as at 24. Probably more.

My husband and I were overseas when I was pregnant with our child who has many special needs. Husband wanted to rush home (half of trip was paid by a conference where he was presenting a paper) I wanted to see more.
Odds are won't ever get back there. He gets there for business but never together. Our money had been spent on our kids, especially the special one
(also much of our time). College is coming up now - who goes off to Paris when their kids are going to college?
Only the very very rich (I know many of these people actually but we aren't them).
Student loans are paid off slowly I don't see why that's an issue.
Our new lives with kids is a joy, but we won't be free to travel together maybe ever. People are more likely to have health issues as they get older too.
I'd save and go and have a fun time. Also plan some simple weekend getaways before you have kids too.

Your husband playing video games is a little weird. If he was playing with you that would be one thing but by himself or with remote people via the Internet? That's not good. When you have kids and he's playing video games what will you think then? How many things as a couple are you doing each evening - even if it's just cooking dinner together or taking a walk? These are the years where you are supposed to be building your relationship together, he shouldn't be sitting in the basement by himself playing Star Wars.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:if you go early march, air fare should be lower and you should be able to do the trip under 3k. the dollar is strong.

budget 150 to 175/day for food/tourism, and the rest for plane fare. you will be eating breakfast with host, which means going out for patisserie, baguette, etc, but that's cheap. eat sandwiches and crepes for lunch and do nice, but not extravagant meals for dinner---plenty of great places with a full menu for 40 euro. you will have to restrain shopping impulse. metro/walk everywhere.

OP here.

Is the trip even doable with 3K?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:if you go early march, air fare should be lower and you should be able to do the trip under 3k. the dollar is strong.

budget 150 to 175/day for food/tourism, and the rest for plane fare. you will be eating breakfast with host, which means going out for patisserie, baguette, etc, but that's cheap. eat sandwiches and crepes for lunch and do nice, but not extravagant meals for dinner---plenty of great places with a full menu for 40 euro. you will have to restrain shopping impulse. metro/walk everywhere.

OP here.

Is the trip even doable with 3K?

+ I agree with you. We're not rich and who knows if we'll ever be especially once we're older and have more expenses and kids.

I totally wanna do a cheap trip now. I'm gonna contribute as much $$ to it as I can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The way I see it is the issue is not that he is boring, it is that she is a harpie.

You OP's DH? Spending a bit too much time on video games, are we? I think it's weird that grown men want to play video games all night, on most nights. Even my DH thinks it's weird that grown men do this.