Late Twenties DH is SO BORING!

[Anonymous]

If you're still under the weight of student loans then blowing savings for a trip to Paris at 24 is financially stupid. I don't care which one of you pays for it, it's simply not smart. You'll be much more financially independent later in life if you act responsibly early in life.

Money buys freedom. Don't waste it on the frivolous. Paris can be enjoyed just as easily at 34 as at 24. Probably more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you're still under the weight of student loans then blowing savings for a trip to Paris at 24 is financially stupid. I don't care which one of you pays for it, it's simply not smart. You'll be much more financially independent later in life if you act responsibly early in life.

Money buys freedom. Don't waste it on the frivolous. Paris can be enjoyed just as easily at 34 as at 24. Probably more.

But all my friends say the time to do Paris is in my 20s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My late twenties DH is so boring I feel like we are 50 years old already. I wanted for us to go to Paris for my birthday in March but he turned the idea down saying we do not have the money for a trip at this time. He also does not like to go out or party or socialize much. His ideal evening is to come home and plop down in front of his computer to play a video game.

I'm losing my mind. I want us to enjoy our remaining youth and have fun and adventures before we have children!

What do I do?

Don't have children. You sound way to immature.

She's not immature! She's smart. Why shouldn't she travel and enjoy her life? OP, you don't have to do everything with your husband. If you can afford it, maybe go with a friend?

Video games are addictive and all-consuming, and being married to a guy who plays them can be annoying.

She married someone whose personality doesn't seem to have varied much b/f she actually married them. He was an introvert then and now. He let his social life come to him by joining a frat and probably played video games then too. You can't change people. OP, have you tried suggesting things that are in his comfort zone? Play video games with him, go for walks or the gym, make a nice dinner and eat at home, go to the movies or out to eat. He's not suddenly going to become a social butterfly. You sound very immature b/c you're lamenting "how boring" he is. News Flash: your DH has always been boring. OP, if you wanted to travel, etc. you should have married someone who also valued these things.

You also sound incredibly immature b/c you don't actually know what your income will pay for. She says her husband is "frugal," but he may also be correct. OP, sit your little fanny down in a chair and actually learn what your budget is: http://www.gailvazoxlade.com/resources/interactive_budget_worksheet.html

If you truly don't have the money for Paris, save up and go on your own or with a friend. Be a grown up and stop complaining about petty things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got married in law school at 24. DH loves video games, I'm more social. We saved and saved, and coincidentally I've always wanted to go to Paris. We had our first child at 27, after trying for a year. We just built our first house out in the burbs, and moved in over thanksgiving. We are 28/29. Now, we are saving for a trip to Paris for my 30th bday next year. That being said, there is compromise. My DH is "frugal," but that doesn't mean we can't afford it. And I'm not with him for the paycheck, as I make significantly more than him. We have financial goals that we both agree to, and fun stuff we save up for. In between, we go to restaurants, concerts, museums, and the like. We aren't big drinkers, so not into the bar scene, but that's something less expensive and still fun you could do. Late twenties, with a baby, doesn't have to be so bad!

This is the OP. I really have wanted to go to Paris while I'm still young enough to enjoy it and sans children. We aren't struggling but with school loans and non lawyer jobs, we are on a tight budget. My dh isn't an idiot, he just doesn't think its smart to blow our savings for a trip to Paris. I however think we can easily do a cheap Paris trip by staying with one of his longtime Parisian friends and saving on lodging. We could then just eat selectively and make sure its a cheap trip. I think we can do that for 5 days for about 3K and I'm willingly contributing half.

OP, you are compromising by finding ways to save on lodging. That is fair, in my opinion.

Unless it involves using their savings. Also, assuming that the friends have space and are available and willing to host. If getting it down to $3K is possible, and means that they don't have to use anything but discretionary money, then sure, he should bend. But if their budget really is tight, then the trip might have to be postponed. Let the OP start saving money for the trip by cutting other luxuries out of the budget. Let her show her husband that they can pay for the trip with funds on hand. Let her create a budget showing actual airfares, etc., and show him that they really can afford it.

Good counterpoint.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you're still under the weight of student loans then blowing savings for a trip to Paris at 24 is financially stupid. I don't care which one of you pays for it, it's simply not smart. You'll be much more financially independent later in life if you act responsibly early in life.

Money buys freedom. Don't waste it on the frivolous. Paris can be enjoyed just as easily at 34 as at 24. Probably more.

But all my friends say the time to do Paris is in my 20s.

your friends are stupid, late 20s is the time to start with kids morons

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:leave him or start seeing someone who is more alpha

Pft... It's not non-alpha (or beta) it is introvert or depressed.

OP - You two may not be a good match. Figure it out and don't delay, in hindsight it could be time lost from your life you'd rather not have spent with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My late twenties DH is so boring I feel like we are 50 years old already. I wanted for us to go to Paris for my birthday in March but he turned the idea down saying we do not have the money for a trip at this time. He also does not like to go out or party or socialize much. His ideal evening is to come home and plop down in front of his computer to play a video game.

I'm losing my mind. I want us to enjoy our remaining youth and have fun and adventures before we have children!

What do I do?

LOL, you chose him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men, please don't play video games on a regular basis, unless your SO also loves to play with you. This is such a turn off.

I don't play video games, but my advice is if you don't like it, there's the door. Take a hike.

[Anonymous]

Being boring has little to do with having too little disposable income for international travel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got married inlay school at 24. DH loves video games, I'm more social. We saved and saved, and coincidently I've always wanted to go to Paris. We had our first child at 27, after trying for a year. We just built our first house out in the burbs, and moved in over thanksgiving. We are 28/29. Now, we are saving for a trip to Paris for my 30th bday next year. That being said, there is compromise. My DH is "frugal," but that doesn't mean we can't afford it. And I'm not with him for the paycheck, as I make significantly more than him. We have financial goals that we both agree to, and fun stuff we save up for. In between, we go to restaurants, concerts, muesums, and the like. We aren't big drinkers, so not into the bar scene, but that's something less expensive and still fun you could do. Late twenties, with a baby, doesn't have to be so bad!

This is the OP. I really have wanted to go to Paris while I'm still young enough to enjoy it and sans children. We aren't struggling but with school loans and non lawyer jobs, we are on a tight budget. My dh isn't an idiot, he just doesn't think its smart to blow our savings for a trip to Paris. I however think we can easily do a cheap Paris trip by staying with one of his longtime Parisian friends and saving on lodging. We could then just eat selectively and make sure its a cheap trip. I think we can do that for 5 days for about 3K and I'm willingly contributing half.

PP, why yes I'm a lawyer, I work for the government and DH works for a low paying non-profit. I wouldn't blow your savings, but if you're willing to save on lodging, and other incidentals, I don't think you're being unreasonable!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
She married someone whose personality doesn't seem to have varied much b/f she actually married them. He was an introvert then and now. He let his social life come to him by joining a frat and probably played video games then too. You can't change people. OP, have you tried suggesting things that are in his comfort zone? Play video games with him, go for walks or the gym, make a nice dinner and eat at home, go to the movies or out to eat. He's not suddenly going to become a social butterfly. You sound very immature b/c you're lamenting "how boring" he is. News Flash: your DH has always been boring. OP, if you wanted to travel, etc. you should have married someone who also valued these things.

You also sound incredibly immature b/c you don't actually know what your income will pay for. She says her husband is "frugal," but he may also be correct. OP, sit your little fanny down in a chair and actually learn what your budget is: http://www.gailvazoxlade.com/resources/interactive_budget_worksheet.html

If you truly don't have the money for Paris, save up and go on your own or with a friend. Be a grown up and stop complaining about petty things.

Well said.

Yet another idiot more in love with the social approval that comes from being married than actually being in love with her mate. I have no sympathy for POS like OP. Quit your whining already and lay in the bed you made.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men, please don't play video games on a regular basis, unless your SO also loves to play with you. This is such a turn off.

I don't play video games, but my advice is if you don't like it, there's the door. Take a hike.

PP here. I agree. But, then a man shouldn't complain if the woman decides to leave, and call her all kinds of names just because she wanted a DH that didn't just play video games all the time. My DH doesn't play any video games, thank goodness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men, please don't play video games on a regular basis, unless your SO also loves to play with you. This is such a turn off.

I don't play video games, but my advice is if you don't like it, there's the door. Take a hike.

PP here. I agree. But, then a man shouldn't complain if the woman decides to leave, and call her all kinds of names just because she wanted a DH that didn't just play video games all the time. My DH doesn't play any video games, thank goodness.

Did he start playing video games after they started dating? Highly unlikely.

Again, she can leave.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men, please don't play video games on a regular basis, unless your SO also loves to play with you. This is such a turn off.

I don't play video games, but my advice is if you don't like it, there's the door. Take a hike.

PP here. I agree. But, then a man shouldn't complain if the woman decides to leave, and call her all kinds of names just because she wanted a DH that didn't just play video games all the time. My DH doesn't play any video games, thank goodness.

What's the big deal with video games? I'm in my early 50's and didn't grow up with them and as such don't own things like Playstations or XBoxes. But the majority of the under 35 crowd grew up with these things, and while I don't play I have to admit some of them look pretty fun. Nearly every guy I work with in their 30's or younger talks about playing.

Is it simply the time it consumes (you could make that case about many other things as well) or is it video gaming specifically? Hell, my DW spends more time on Pinterest than any guy could spend gaming. Who cares what people do for leisure?

[Anonymous]

More than the gaming itself or the time, it's the fact that DH has an activity he enjoys that doesn't involve her, something that most women hate in general.