Late Twenties DH is SO BORING!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's immature because she wants to have fun? Because she wants to socialize and travel? We don't know that they can't afford the trip to Paris, only that her husband said so.
I don't know what to tell you OP, but don't let a bunch of women who squandered the fun part of their lives convince you that that is what being a grown up is about. It's not.

Because most people in their 20's can just jet off to Pais for their birthdays. Oh wait, this is DCUM, the bastion of real life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God, I am so glad to be in my 40s sometimes!

This

[Anonymous]

OP,

Well, what would you think of me?
I married at 23 while in grad school, budgeted for the future, had my first child at 25, bought a house, and now in my early thirties juggle retirement and college savings...
My idea of fun has always been to read a book while drinking a cup of tea. I like intellectual subjects and academic dinner conversations. My DH is even less the party guy (he plays video games too) and I feel social compared to him!

My point is that you married this guy knowing his preferences, so now you have to deal with it, which means you have to be the organizer of trips and socials. Organizing means budgeting, planning, logistics, AND persuading your reluctant spouse! It doesn't mean demanding a trip to Paris on a platter! By the way, I was born there, and March is a bit too early in the season for Paris - the chestnuts are not in bloom and it will be rainy and still a little cold. May is the BEST time. Walk along the Seine with a baguette sandwich and sit at a cafe close to Notre-Dame.

So go ahead, OP. Don your responsibilities and plan for the future rationally. Don't be the princess eating bon-bons.

[Anonymous]

People change over time. Both women and men do. Deal with it.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you married him for his money and/or earning potential. Most wives aren't jet setting to Paris for a birthday.

[Anonymous]

I got married inlay school at 24. DH loves video games, I'm more social. We saved and saved, and coincidently I've always wanted to go to Paris. We had our first child at 27, after trying for a year. We just built our first house out in the burbs, and moved in over thanksgiving. We are 28/29. Now, we are saving for a trip to Paris for my 30th bday next year. That being said, there is compromise. My DH is "frugal," but that doesn't mean we can't afford it. And I'm not with him for the paycheck, as I make significantly more than him. We have financial goals that we both agree to, and fun stuff we save up for. In between, we go to restaurants, concerts, muesums, and the like. We aren't big drinkers, so not into the bar scene, but that's something less expensive and still fun you could do. Late twenties, with a baby, doesn't have to be so bad!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got married inlay school at 24. DH loves video games, I'm more social. We saved and saved, and coincidently I've always wanted to go to Paris. We had our first child at 27, after trying for a year. We just built our first house out in the burbs, and moved in over thanksgiving. We are 28/29. Now, we are saving for a trip to Paris for my 30th bday next year. That being said, there is compromise. My DH is "frugal," but that doesn't mean we can't afford it. And I'm not with him for the paycheck, as I make significantly more than him. We have financial goals that we both agree to, and fun stuff we save up for. In between, we go to restaurants, concerts, muesums, and the like. We aren't big drinkers, so not into the bar scene, but that's something less expensive and still fun you could do. Late twenties, with a baby, doesn't have to be so bad!

Autocorrect. * I got married in law school at 24.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:God, I am so glad to be in my 40s sometimes!

+1

I'm having way more fun in my 40s than I did in my 20s. Kids are grown enough to stay home on their own and I've got way more money to do what I want.

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got married inlay school at 24. DH loves video games, I'm more social. We saved and saved, and coincidently I've always wanted to go to Paris. We had our first child at 27, after trying for a year. We just built our first house out in the burbs, and moved in over thanksgiving. We are 28/29. Now, we are saving for a trip to Paris for my 30th bday next year. That being said, there is compromise. My DH is "frugal," but that doesn't mean we can't afford it. And I'm not with him for the paycheck, as I make significantly more than him. We have financial goals that we both agree to, and fun stuff we save up for. In between, we go to restaurants, concerts, muesums, and the like. We aren't big drinkers, so not into the bar scene, but that's something less expensive and still fun you could do. Late twenties, with a baby, doesn't have to be so bad!

This is the OP. I really have wanted to go to Paris while I'm still young enough to enjoy it and sans children. We aren't struggling but with school loans and non lawyer jobs, we are on a tight budget. My dh isn't an idiot, he just doesn't think its smart to blow our savings for a trip to Paris. I however think we can easily do a cheap Paris trip by staying with one of his longtime Parisian friends and saving on lodging. We could then just eat selectively and make sure its a cheap trip. I think we can do that for 5 days for about 3K and I'm willingly contributing half.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got married inlay school at 24. DH loves video games, I'm more social. We saved and saved, and coincidently I've always wanted to go to Paris. We had our first child at 27, after trying for a year. We just built our first house out in the burbs, and moved in over thanksgiving. We are 28/29. Now, we are saving for a trip to Paris for my 30th bday next year. That being said, there is compromise. My DH is "frugal," but that doesn't mean we can't afford it. And I'm not with him for the paycheck, as I make significantly more than him. We have financial goals that we both agree to, and fun stuff we save up for. In between, we go to restaurants, concerts, muesums, and the like. We aren't big drinkers, so not into the bar scene, but that's something less expensive and still fun you could do. Late twenties, with a baby, doesn't have to be so bad!

This is the OP. I really have wanted to go to Paris while I'm still young enough to enjoy it and sans children. We aren't struggling but with school loans and non lawyer jobs, we are on a tight budget. My dh isn't an idiot, he just doesn't think its smart to blow our savings for a trip to Paris. I however think we can easily do a cheap Paris trip by staying with one of his longtime Parisian friends and saving on lodging. We could then just eat selectively and make sure its a cheap trip. I think we can do that for 5 days for about 3K and I'm willingly contributing half.

Sounds like your DH is a responsible adult. Consider yourself lucky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got married in law school at 24. DH loves video games, I'm more social. We saved and saved, and coincidentally I've always wanted to go to Paris. We had our first child at 27, after trying for a year. We just built our first house out in the burbs, and moved in over thanksgiving. We are 28/29. Now, we are saving for a trip to Paris for my 30th bday next year. That being said, there is compromise. My DH is "frugal," but that doesn't mean we can't afford it. And I'm not with him for the paycheck, as I make significantly more than him. We have financial goals that we both agree to, and fun stuff we save up for. In between, we go to restaurants, concerts, museums, and the like. We aren't big drinkers, so not into the bar scene, but that's something less expensive and still fun you could do. Late twenties, with a baby, doesn't have to be so bad!

This is the OP. I really have wanted to go to Paris while I'm still young enough to enjoy it and sans children. We aren't struggling but with school loans and non lawyer jobs, we are on a tight budget. My dh isn't an idiot, he just doesn't think its smart to blow our savings for a trip to Paris. I however think we can easily do a cheap Paris trip by staying with one of his longtime Parisian friends and saving on lodging. We could then just eat selectively and make sure its a cheap trip. I think we can do that for 5 days for about 3K and I'm willingly contributing half.

OP, you are compromising by finding ways to save on lodging. That is fair, in my opinion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got married inlay school at 24. DH loves video games, I'm more social. We saved and saved, and coincidently I've always wanted to go to Paris. We had our first child at 27, after trying for a year. We just built our first house out in the burbs, and moved in over thanksgiving. We are 28/29. Now, we are saving for a trip to Paris for my 30th bday next year. That being said, there is compromise. My DH is "frugal," but that doesn't mean we can't afford it. And I'm not with him for the paycheck, as I make significantly more than him. We have financial goals that we both agree to, and fun stuff we save up for. In between, we go to restaurants, concerts, muesums, and the like. We aren't big drinkers, so not into the bar scene, but that's something less expensive and still fun you could do. Late twenties, with a baby, doesn't have to be so bad!

This is the OP. I really have wanted to go to Paris while I'm still young enough to enjoy it and sans children. We aren't struggling but with school loans and non lawyer jobs, we are on a tight budget. My dh isn't an idiot, he just doesn't think its smart to blow our savings for a trip to Paris. I however think we can easily do a cheap Paris trip by staying with one of his longtime Parisian friends and saving on lodging. We could then just eat selectively and make sure its a cheap trip. I think we can do that for 5 days for about 3K and I'm willingly contributing half.

He's right. It's not smart to blow your savings on a trip to Paris. If you can pay for the trip entirely out of discretionary funds or a savings account established just for travel, do it. If you have to dip into your savings, you shouldn't go.

Also, you're never too old to enjoy Paris. I went in my early 20s and my late 30s and had way more fun in my late 30s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I got married in law school at 24. DH loves video games, I'm more social. We saved and saved, and coincidentally I've always wanted to go to Paris. We had our first child at 27, after trying for a year. We just built our first house out in the burbs, and moved in over thanksgiving. We are 28/29. Now, we are saving for a trip to Paris for my 30th bday next year. That being said, there is compromise. My DH is "frugal," but that doesn't mean we can't afford it. And I'm not with him for the paycheck, as I make significantly more than him. We have financial goals that we both agree to, and fun stuff we save up for. In between, we go to restaurants, concerts, museums, and the like. We aren't big drinkers, so not into the bar scene, but that's something less expensive and still fun you could do. Late twenties, with a baby, doesn't have to be so bad!

This is the OP. I really have wanted to go to Paris while I'm still young enough to enjoy it and sans children. We aren't struggling but with school loans and non lawyer jobs, we are on a tight budget. My dh isn't an idiot, he just doesn't think its smart to blow our savings for a trip to Paris. I however think we can easily do a cheap Paris trip by staying with one of his longtime Parisian friends and saving on lodging. We could then just eat selectively and make sure its a cheap trip. I think we can do that for 5 days for about 3K and I'm willingly contributing half.

OP, you are compromising by finding ways to save on lodging. That is fair, in my opinion.

Unless it involves using their savings. Also, assuming that the friends have space and are available and willing to host. If getting it down to $3K is possible, and means that they don't have to use anything but discretionary money, then sure, he should bend. But if their budget really is tight, then the trip might have to be postponed. Let the OP start saving money for the trip by cutting other luxuries out of the budget. Let her show her husband that they can pay for the trip with funds on hand. Let her create a budget showing actual airfares, etc., and show him that they really can afford it.

[Anonymous]

Go by yourself if you can't get him to go. Or plan a trip with girlfriends. This is what I started doing when DH didn't want to do stuff with me.

[Anonymous]

I guess it's a matter of priority. Both DH and I love to travel, so we save for it. And I agree OP - go to Paris sans kids. I see nothing wrong with that. But, sounds like travel is not your DH's priority, except maybe if it's someplace he wants to go? I think that's the issue... he doesn't want to spend money on going to Paris because he probably doesn't care to go. If you wanted to go somewhere that he really wanted to go to, I bet he'd do it.

We just bought a game console and a couple of used games for our kids for xmas. Damn, they are expensive. I bet your DH spent a lot on his games, no? Sure, maybe not $3000, but like I said, it's a matter or priority.