Late Twenties DH is SO BORING!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did he used to enjoy partying and socializing? And I mean really enjoy it, not just tolerate it because you wanted to do it? If he's changed that significantly, I'd be concerned about his mental health. If this is how he's always been, well, that's how he is and you have to decide if you can live with it.

I don't have a whole lot of sympathy on the Paris thing, though. If the extra money's not there, it's not there, and it's foolish to rack up debt just so you can say you went to Paris for your birthday.

He was in a fraternity and although introverted, he had friends and socialized with them.

Now he is too tired after work for anything and he's too frugal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did he used to enjoy partying and socializing? And I mean really enjoy it, not just tolerate it because you wanted to do it? If he's changed that significantly, I'd be concerned about his mental health. If this is how he's always been, well, that's how he is and you have to decide if you can live with it.

I don't have a whole lot of sympathy on the Paris thing, though. If the extra money's not there, it's not there, and it's foolish to rack up debt just so you can say you went to Paris for your birthday.

He was in a fraternity and although introverted, he had friends and socialized with them.

Now he is too tired after work for anything and he's too frugal.

Maybe shouldn't have married him immediately after graduation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men, please don't play video games on a regular basis, unless your SO also loves to play with you. This is such a turn off.

OP, sit down and talk with him. Maybe compromise. Maybe you guys could go out every other weekend, and he can play his games on the off weekends.

As for Paris, if you don't have the money, then you should probably wait and save for it. Maybe go some place cheaper?

we can't play videogames at home and we can't go out every night with our bros.

what do you want?

[Anonymous]

God, I am so glad to be in my 40s sometimes!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Now is a good time to have kids. You are getting old.

-1! PP, you are dead wrong. OP, live your life. NOW is the time to travel, go to grad school and reach for your dreams. DH & I did, and we happily had kids in our 30s and 40s. We have plenty of friends who did the same: got JDs and Phds, went to places, had fun! Go for it. Have and/or adopt kids much, much later.

If you're restless now, starting a family will only lead all involved down a very brief road to misery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:leave him or start seeing someone who is more alpha

Alpha/beta is a ridiculous concept. Even if it were accurate, how is being financially responsible "beta" behavior?

Idiocy.

OP needs to grow up a little. Her DH needs to loosen up a little. They should talk about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now is a good time to have kids. You are getting old.

-1! PP, you are dead wrong. OP, live your life. NOW is the time to travel, go to grad school and reach for your dreams. DH & I did, and we happily had kids in our 30s and 40s. We have plenty of friends who did the same: got JDs and Phds, went to places, had fun! Go for it. Have and/or adopt kids much, much later.

If you're restless now, starting a family will only lead all involved down a very brief road to misery.

P.S. If DH won't take you to Paris, go there on your own or with a GF!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Now is a good time to have kids. You are getting old.

-1! PP, you are dead wrong. OP, live your life. NOW is the time to travel, go to grad school and reach for your dreams. DH & I did, and we happily had kids in our 30s and 40s. We have plenty of friends who did the same: got JDs and Phds, went to places, had fun! Go for it. Have and/or adopt kids much, much later.

If you're restless now, starting a family will only lead all involved down a very brief road to misery.

P.S. If DH won't take you to Paris, go there on your own or with a GF!

And, what else? Let DH pay for the groceries and the down-payment on the mortgage when OP decides their place is too small?

Maybe DH is a cheapskate and a bore, but from all that's been written OP may just be a spoiled brat who always expects to be the center of attention and can't grow up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:God, I am so glad to be in my 40s sometimes!

+1

I'm having way more fun in my 40s than I did in my 20s. Kids are grown enough to stay home on their own and I've got way more money to do what I want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Men, please don't play video games on a regular basis, unless your SO also loves to play with you. This is such a turn off.

OP, sit down and talk with him. Maybe compromise. Maybe you guys could go out every other weekend, and he can play his games on the off weekends.

As for Paris, if you don't have the money, then you should probably wait and save for it. Maybe go some place cheaper?

we can't play videogames at home and we can't go out every night with our bros.

what do you want?

PP here. I didn't say men shouldn't play video games at all. I stated to compromise. But, if this is what you want to do every night, and/or go out with your bros, then don't get married. Hire a cleaner, a cook, whatever. But, don't get married. You will save yourself and the poor woman the aggravation and the need to post on DCUM about how her DH is so boring. Seriously, don't get married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My late twenties DH is so boring I feel like we are 50 years old already. I wanted for us to go to Paris for my birthday in March but he turned the idea down saying we do not have the money for a trip at this time. He also does not like to go out or party or socialize much. His ideal evening is to come home and plop down in front of his computer to play a video game.

I'm losing my mind. I want us to enjoy our remaining youth and have fun and adventures before we have children!

What do I do?

OP the problem is lack of compatibility.

He married you for love, you married him for the paycheck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My late twenties DH is so boring I feel like we are 50 years old already. I wanted for us to go to Paris for my birthday in March but he turned the idea down saying we do not have the money for a trip at this time. He also does not like to go out or party or socialize much. His ideal evening is to come home and plop down in front of his computer to play a video game.

I'm losing my mind. I want us to enjoy our remaining youth and have fun and adventures before we have children!

What do I do?

Don't have children. You sound way to immature.

She's not immature! She's smart. Why shouldn't she travel and enjoy her life? OP, you don't have to do everything with your husband. If you can afford it, maybe go with a friend?

Video games are addictive and all-consuming, and being married to a guy who plays them can be annoying.

[Anonymous]

Oh my God! Late twenties and you can't go to Paris for you birthday because it's not financially smart?

Therapy! Divorce!

Leave him so someone else can appreciate him. Find yourself a rich alpha dog to buy your toys...and leave you in a few years.

[Anonymous]

The problem is he should have waited for you to finish high school before marrying you. Did you, like, explain that the Paris trip was to help you in third period French class?

[Anonymous]

She's immature because she wants to have fun? Because she wants to socialize and travel? We don't know that they can't afford the trip to Paris, only that her husband said so.
I don't know what to tell you OP, but don't let a bunch of women who squandered the fun part of their lives convince you that that is what being a grown up is about. It's not.