MIL did this on purpose or am I overreacting?

[Anonymous]

You're mil asked for the list but had all those items served? Yup, it was on purpose.

[Anonymous]

Op, give us your list ~ let's see it

[Anonymous]

Just a thought. I have a relative that is allergic to several foods. I know this and usually accommodate with no problem. She is a guest in my home and I want to make her feel as comfortable as possible and would like for her throat to not close up! But, there have been a couple of times when I just completely blanked on this while preparing the menu. I got so wrapped up in menu planning and shopping and cooking that I completely forgot. One time, my relative could only eat one thing on the menu. Oops. I felt terrible, but she just rolled with it and laughed it off. (and got slightly drunk because all she ate was bread and drank wine!!)

Anyway - is it possible that your MIL just blanked on all this in the frenzy of the meal? Maybe she always has ham and made the meat for you, but didn't think about the rare meat problem. And forgot about the bacon on the veg, or just thought you'd be ok with it? And put feta on the salad because there is no reason why you can't eat feta (I was just pregnant 6 months ago and consumes plenty of PASTEURIZED cheese) So I don't know...

[Anonymous]

I was completely surprised by how out of touch all my older family and friends were (though they're mothers themselves) about restrictions for pregnant women. Seriously, if the MIL is 60-ish+, it would not surprise me if her primary focus was serving a variety of tasty foods to ensure that the pregnant guest would find something to her liking and not pass out from hunger.

No idea why 15 years would pass without a meal at the in-laws, but as someone who doesn't enjoy entertaining because I'n not a good cook, I can understand the avoidance. Plus, I can tell you that older, simpler recipes are heavy on meats and cheeses. I'm leaning toward inexperience, not deliberate offense.

Now if the MIL puts on a big shin-dig every year, that's a different story.

[Anonymous]

Nope I don't think you can write it off to inexperience. Sorry. This was the first time MIL had Op over for dinner. MIL asked Op a list of the foods she was avoiding. Op provided the list.

Everything (aside from bread) that MIL served was on that list. The ONLY possible excuse that I could see for this is if MIL thought that this list was of foods that Op COULD eat.

[Anonymous]

I'd say trust your husband's assessment of the scenario - he's pissed and thinks it's intentional so it likely is. How often do DHs (or DWs for that matter) side against their parents with their spouses just for the sake of starting shit? It happens but not often.

[Anonymous]

I eat feta all the time and I'm pregnant. Same with undercooked yolks. You could have asked for a more cooked piece of rib. Your restrictions are too extensive, I don't know how you expect her to know all this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've had 4 kids and ate most of those things while pregnant. Your diet restrictions sound ridiculous. Not doubting you, just surprised that things have changed so much.

What was she supposed to serve?

This. Lord have mercy.

[Anonymous]

Okay, but what kind of person would do something to deliberately harm their future grandchild?

If the MIL were that evil, I'd think they'd know it and avoid dinner at her house.

In any case, I would have departed at the first opportunity to go get some food I could eat, with no worries about being offensive.

[Anonymous]

You could have eaten the feta, but aside from that, your MIL was a bad host - whether it was intentional or not, who knows. Your husband sounds plenty mad for the both of you, so let him do what he feels is appropriate.

I think you need to plan to eat before your next visit to her. I have a friend like this - only serves carbs and cakes at dinner parties, no protein or veggies. It makes me sick - so I eat on the way there and then show up for what she considers dinner and what I consider dessert. Same with my parents - I swear half their diet is bagels. So we stock up on eggs and feed ourselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had 4 kids and ate most of those things while pregnant. Your diet restrictions sound ridiculous. Not doubting you, just surprised that things have changed so much.

What was she supposed to serve?

This. Lord have mercy.

Um...how about:
Turkey, potatoes, glazed carrots, broccoli, rolls
Beef lasagna, salad, garlic bread
Individual Beef Wellingtons (DILs left in oven 5 minutes longer), green beans, marinated mushrooms, potatoes, cranberry sauce

There's three menus off the top of my head.

[Anonymous]

What about ham wrapped in bacon and drizzled with egg yolk?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, but what kind of person would do something to deliberately harm their future grandchild?

If the MIL were that evil, I'd think they'd know it and avoid dinner at her house.

In any case, I would have departed at the first opportunity to go get some food I could eat, with no worries about being offensive.

Oh, she didn't think for a second that it would hurt her future grandchild. She simply felt that Op's list was ridiculous so she opted not to recognize it.

If MIL is happy to ignore Op's food list, what will happen when the baby arrives and MIL disagrees with Op's parenting style? "Oh, all of my kids slept on their backs, this one can too".

[Anonymous]

^stomachs not backs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've had 4 kids and ate most of those things while pregnant. Your diet restrictions sound ridiculous. Not doubting you, just surprised that things have changed so much.



What was she supposed to serve?

I have three and ate just about anything I desired, including raw oysters, which I craved. Three healthy children.