MIL did this on purpose or am I overreacting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had 4 kids and ate most of those things while pregnant. Your diet restrictions sound ridiculous. Not doubting you, just surprised that things have changed so much.



What was she supposed to serve?

I have three and ate just about anything I desired, including raw oysters, which I craved. Three healthy children.

2 healthy kids myself and I had very few food restrictions while pregnant. Doesn't mean I get to disrespect the fact that others might feel the need to avoid some types of food.

When I was pregnant Mexican food made me terribly sick. I could not eat it - I still do not know what the ingredient was that made me ill. If I had told my own mom or MIL that I was avoiding Mexican food and they thought that was silly and opted to invite me over for dinner and served me Mexican food anyway I would have been pretty upset with them.

It just isn't nice to butt heads like that with someone. And it sets up trust issues for down the road...just something to think about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay, but what kind of person would do something to deliberately harm their future grandchild?

If the MIL were that evil, I'd think they'd know it and avoid dinner at her house.

In any case, I would have departed at the first opportunity to go get some food I could eat, with no worries about being offensive.

Oh, she didn't think for a second that it would hurt her future grandchild. She simply felt that Op's list was ridiculous so she opted not to recognize it.

If MIL is happy to ignore Op's food list, what will happen when the baby arrives and MIL disagrees with Op's parenting style? "Oh, all of my kids slept on their backs, this one can too".

Exactly. Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've had 4 kids and ate most of those things while pregnant. Your diet restrictions sound ridiculous. Not doubting you, just surprised that things have changed so much.



What was she supposed to serve?

I have three and ate just about anything I desired, including raw oysters, which I craved. Three healthy children.

What's your point? The statistics were on your side, so NO ONE would be harmed by these foods, despite medical evidence to the contrary?

[Anonymous]

I would have eaten most of this while pregnant, and older people notoriously forget that pregnant women must take extra care around certain foods.

BUT if this is unusual food for your MIL to serve, then definitely there's something fishy! Now you're warned that she's a bit off.

[Anonymous]

Op, she served an ordinary holiday meal for that generation. I don't think it was passive-aggressive, but perhaps she just thought, "I can't cope with all these restrictions so I'm going to serve the meal I would anyway." I know the menu was way off from what you thought should be served, and from what you thought (or your particular doctor) thinks is safe to eat. More importantly, I'm wondering why so formal? Why weren't you (and DH) in the kitchen, socializing, helping, and observing - seeing that changes needed to be made. You could have pick-up some other items to eat. In general, if you as a DIL want to find problems with your MIL, you're going to find them. I suggest you don't look.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op, she served an ordinary holiday meal for that generation. I don't think it was passive-aggressive, but perhaps she just thought, "I can't cope with all these restrictions so I'm going to serve the meal I would anyway." I know the menu was way off from what you thought should be served, and from what you thought (or your particular doctor) thinks is safe to eat. More importantly, I'm wondering why so formal? Why weren't you (and DH) in the kitchen, socializing, helping, and observing - seeing that changes needed to be made. You could have pick-up some other items to eat. In general, if you as a DIL want to find problems with your MIL, you're going to find them. I suggest you don't look.

Um, if MIL decided she couldn't handle all the restrictions, she could and should have PICKED UP THE PHONE and communicated that ahead of time. Then OP could have brought her own food.

Seriously.

[Anonymous]

OP, your MIL has issues with YOU!

I don't eat fish, never have, never will. Personal choice. MIL is well aware and they are not a big time fish eating family. I also do not eat Lima beans and do not like dill. You guessed it! These were on her menu when we visited. I just didn't eat. After dinner, DH, BIL, SIL and I went out. I ate bar food, instead. BIL gave me a look. I said you mom knows I don't eat...

She did same thing the next night. My DH took me to an Italian restaurant. Actually we took our kids, too. He said we had plans with one of his friends...and he forgot to tell her.

He, eventually, explained to her that I was his #1 and the mother of his children. And she needed to respect me. Period.

She stills pulls this shit. I just smile knowing that I'll eat a super yummy meal later or I can always have DH just up and leave and we'll go out for our own meal.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you need "pregnant friendly" food you stay home or bring your own. Think of it like an allergy. Parents of kids with allergies typically bring their own food to parties just in case.

And for the record, I think you are crazy I am surprised that you didn't sit down at the dinner table and unpack your NKoTB lunchbox.

God bless your DH. 3 years and he is out.

[Anonymous]

How do you serve the lima bean and dill combo twice in two days so that it infects all of the food so as to make the whole meal inedible? You sound a bit TOO picky, PP. Like, you don't put dill on chicken or even on beef usually. Maybe pork? Can't you just eat around the lima beans? Dill and lima beans just seems like an unlikely enough combo that it couldn't really kill two meals in a row, unless MIL is truly trying really hard or you are looking hard for excuses to be dissatisfied with MIL's cooking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you need "pregnant friendly" food you stay home or bring your own. Think of it like an allergy. Parents of kids with allergies typically bring their own food to parties just in case.

And for the record, I think you are crazy I am surprised that you didn't sit down at the dinner table and unpack your NKoTB lunchbox.

God bless your DH. 3 years and he is out.

I'm not the op, but seriously go fuck yourself.

As far as deli meats are concerned, they are probably fine... Unfortunately there is a tiny chance they may contain listeria. It will make you sick if you're not pregnant, which sucks but whatever.
However, if you are pregnant it attacks the placenta.
Why the fuck would you risk that?
I love cold cuts, but I didn't have them during my pregnancy. Not worth the risk however small.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you need "pregnant friendly" food you stay home or bring your own. Think of it like an allergy. Parents of kids with allergies typically bring their own food to parties just in case.

And for the record, I think you are crazy I am surprised that you didn't sit down at the dinner table and unpack your NKoTB lunchbox.

God bless your DH. 3 years and he is out.

Do you have reading comprehension problems? MIL ACTIVELY ASKED OP to provide the list of unsafe food. OP complied.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you need "pregnant friendly" food you stay home or bring your own. Think of it like an allergy. Parents of kids with allergies typically bring their own food to parties just in case.

And for the record, I think you are crazy I am surprised that you didn't sit down at the dinner table and unpack your NKoTB lunchbox.

God bless your DH. 3 years and he is out.

Do you have reading comprehension problems? MIL ACTIVELY ASKED OP to provide the list of unsafe food. OP complied.

This would be the clincher for me. If you don't ask, I'll assume I need to bring my own food if I have issues. If you ask for the list, I give it to you, you decide it's too much work and say so, I'll assume I need to bring my own food. You ask me for the list, I give it to you, you don't complain, I'm going to assume you're accommodating as you said you would.

Unless she honestly forgot and apologized for it, this is a douche move on MILs part.

[Anonymous]

Rice seasoned with dill. Fish as the main portion of the meal.

A stew with lima beans, heavily lima beans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you need "pregnant friendly" food you stay home or bring your own. Think of it like an allergy. Parents of kids with allergies typically bring their own food to parties just in case.

And for the record, I think you are crazy I am surprised that you didn't sit down at the dinner table and unpack your NKoTB lunchbox.

God bless your DH. 3 years and he is out.

Do you have reading comprehension problems? MIL ACTIVELY ASKED OP to provide the list of unsafe food. OP complied.

No actually it wasn't a list of "unsafe" foods because OP included pork because she chooses not to eat it. Prime rib and egg told aren't unsafe (generally at all) if cooked well so why not just nuke them both and be done with it OR bring your own "pregnant friendly" foods.

And for the record, unless OP's MIL is milking her own sheep or has a neighbor who is and then making their own fata it is pasteurized. At least know what you are trying to be a martyr about before you claim to be one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, if you need "pregnant friendly" food you stay home or bring your own. Think of it like an allergy. Parents of kids with allergies typically bring their own food to parties just in case.

And for the record, I think you are crazy I am surprised that you didn't sit down at the dinner table and unpack your NKoTB lunchbox.

God bless your DH. 3 years and he is out.

Well, given that *MIL* asked Op for the list, I really don't think that you can accuse Op of being a diva. She told MIL what her food restrictions were and MIL opted to prepare a meal based heavily on those restricted foods.

If you don't want a list like that - don't ask for it.