My Husband Supports Trump

[Anonymous]

Look, at a certain point, supporting someone passes beyond "difference of opinion" and into "moral failing."

You can't expect someone to stand by and agree to disagree if you support a candidate who wants to turn Jews into soap. You can't do it even if he "speaks his mind" and has a great idea about reducing the capital gains tax.

Has Trump come out in favor of turning Jews into soap? No. But he's close enough to that territory to get him out of "difference opinion" and soundly into "moral failing." Supporting him makes you a bad person.

[Anonymous]

I don't support Trump but would love to get one of his hats.

[Anonymous]

OP -- mine too. I think a lot of white men, in particular, (whether blue collar or white collar) feel that someone has taken the rug from under their feet. They have a certain entitlement and like Trump because he says what they are thinking.

We are so politically correct nowadays that kids on nearly every college campus want to re-name stuff because someone did something terrible or said something terrible years ago. So many ridiculous examples. Like Woodrow Wilson at Princeton. He was the President of the US, but now the kids don't want stuff named after him. George Washington had slaves...so then why do we have GWU? It goes on and on.

No one wants a black person to be killed by a copy for God's sake. But, now every cop is presumed to be a bigot. They can't win.

Not every Muslim is a terrorist, of course. But nearly every terrorist is a Muslim. So, Trump has a point. Not every illegal is a criminal..but some are.

So, Trump has a struck a cord on many issues. Let it pass OP. I think Cruz and Rubio are much scarier than Trump. They both seem like really scary hispanics to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, at a certain point, supporting someone passes beyond "difference of opinion" and into "moral failing."

You can't expect someone to stand by and agree to disagree if you support a candidate who wants to turn Jews into soap. You can't do it even if he "speaks his mind" and has a great idea about reducing the capital gains tax.

Has Trump come out in favor of turning Jews into soap? No. But he's close enough to that territory to get him out of "difference opinion" and soundly into "moral failing." Supporting him makes you a bad person.

+1000, I agree that at a certain point it is an indication of "moral failing" and that is why I could not associate with someone who really supported this man! I feel for you OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a hilarious thread. It also seems to me like trolling, and if not, still belongs in the politics forum.

That said, on the more generic level (without getting into the partisan name calling), it may reveal huge differences of values. I never used to think these things were so important - that relationships could transcend this issues.

However, after a really obnoxious and contentious (and passionate) relationship with a woman who believe in creationism (while I believe in empiricism and science), I began to realize how much these debates were more a reflection of the way we viewed and understood the world around us, and not just about a particular issue. More to the point: these different approaches were reflected in the way we handled the relationship itself.

So, I'm not sure if it's grounds for divorce, particularly after children, but I sure as hell think it's grounds to break off an engagement or a long-term relationship.

OP here - honestly not sure why you think this is trolling. I almost posted in the politics forum (would have been a first for me), but think you're actually getting at why it is a relationship issue in your post. To me, this isn't really about supporting a candidate I don't like. It is more that he is supporting someone who is so extreme that I question what that means on a deeper level, like I must not really know him at all or understand the person he has become over the last 20 years. We have three kids, and I'm not getting a divorce over politics, but I wonder if there is a bigger disconnect between us than I ever would have thought.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorce him. Seriously. I couldn't stay married to someone with those values.

+1

I'm about to uninvite my ILs for the holidays. I don't want my children exposed to that kind of hate and ignorance.

This attitude right here is part of the reason Trump is having success.

As a college professor, I agree 100% with this. PP is one of those "don't expose me to ideas I disagree with" types.... the coddling students I teach on a daily basis who don't want rigorous arguments challenging them to defend their views.

As a college professor, I would hope that you are teaching your students that there is a meaningful difference between opinions that are actively xenophobic and based on lies and opinions that are simply different from their own. Trump has repeatedly lied about things that are verifiable, suggested policies that are unconstitutional, made comments that are blatantly racist, and shown absolutely no remorse for this behavior. I would be utterly delighted to not be exposed to his ideas - not just because I disagree with them, but because they are antithetical to pretty much everything I believe - and if I found out that a close friend or relative agreed with those things, I would not want to associate with that person any longer.

It is actually not unconstitutional to selectively control immigration, even based on religion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP -- mine too. I think a lot of white men, in particular, (whether blue collar or white collar) feel that someone has taken the rug from under their feet. They have a certain entitlement and like Trump because he says what they are thinking.

We are so politically correct nowadays that kids on nearly every college campus want to re-name stuff because someone did something terrible or said something terrible years ago. So many ridiculous examples. Like Woodrow Wilson at Princeton. He was the President of the US, but now the kids don't want stuff named after him. George Washington had slaves...so then why do we have GWU? It goes on and on.

No one wants a black person to be killed by a copy for God's sake. But, now every cop is presumed to be a bigot. They can't win.

Not every Muslim is a terrorist, of course. But nearly every terrorist is a Muslim. So, Trump has a point. Not every illegal is a criminal..but some are.

So, Trump has a struck a cord on many issues. Let it pass OP. I think Cruz and Rubio are much scarier than Trump. They both seem like really scary hispanics to me.

Don't worry. DC's gonna' solve that problem. UDC may soon be Marion Barry University. Perhaps GWU can become Al Sharpton U.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP -- mine too. I think a lot of white men, in particular, (whether blue collar or white collar) feel that someone has taken the rug from under their feet. They have a certain entitlement and like Trump because he says what they are thinking.

We are so politically correct nowadays that kids on nearly every college campus want to re-name stuff because someone did something terrible or said something terrible years ago. So many ridiculous examples. Like Woodrow Wilson at Princeton. He was the President of the US, but now the kids don't want stuff named after him. George Washington had slaves...so then why do we have GWU? It goes on and on.

No one wants a black person to be killed by a copy for God's sake. But, now every cop is presumed to be a bigot. They can't win.

Not every Muslim is a terrorist, of course. But nearly every terrorist is a Muslim. So, Trump has a point. Not every illegal is a criminal..but some are.

So, Trump has a struck a cord on many issues. Let it pass OP. I think Cruz and Rubio are much scarier than Trump. They both seem like really scary hispanics to me.

I think that it is entirely possible that there are many white people of both genders who have been forced to confront the structural inequities and injustices that exist that have, historically, worked in their favor.

Not every cop is presumed to be a bigot, but racial profiling in police work does exist. The way to win is not to get angry and defensive when a person of color is upset about racial profiling in police work. It is to hear what those people are saying, and, if you're not a bigot, assume that they are talking about your bigot colleagues and work to change the system. Be a positive force, not a negative one.

Not every Muslim is a terrorist. Not even close to nearly every terrorist is a Muslim either. Not every undocumented immigrant is a violent criminal, and that episode of Trump's campaign should be an embarrassment to everyone who is not a bigot.

If Trump has struck a chord, it's because a large number of people in this country are very uncomfortable confronting their own privilege. Such that even suggesting that they do so is viewed as hostile. "Being politically correct" generally actually just means being respectful, not using racist or sexist language, etc. If that's difficult for your husband, that says something about him that is not good.

Cruz and Rubio are scary for a lot of reasons, but being Hispanic is hardly one of those reasons.

[Anonymous]

My condolences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP -- mine too. I think a lot of white men, in particular, (whether blue collar or white collar) feel that someone has taken the rug from under their feet. They have a certain entitlement and like Trump because he says what they are thinking.

We are so politically correct nowadays that kids on nearly every college campus want to re-name stuff because someone did something terrible or said something terrible years ago. So many ridiculous examples. Like Woodrow Wilson at Princeton. He was the President of the US, but now the kids don't want stuff named after him. George Washington had slaves...so then why do we have GWU? It goes on and on.

No one wants a black person to be killed by a copy for God's sake. But, now every cop is presumed to be a bigot. They can't win.

Not every Muslim is a terrorist, of course. But nearly every terrorist is a Muslim. So, Trump has a point. Not every illegal is a criminal..but some are.

So, Trump has a struck a cord on many issues. Let it pass OP. I think Cruz and Rubio are much scarier than Trump. They both seem like really scary hispanics to me.

What is a scary Hispanic?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Look, at a certain point, supporting someone passes beyond "difference of opinion" and into "moral failing."

You can't expect someone to stand by and agree to disagree if you support a candidate who wants to turn Jews into soap. You can't do it even if he "speaks his mind" and has a great idea about reducing the capital gains tax.

Has Trump come out in favor of turning Jews into soap? No. But he's close enough to that territory to get him out of "difference opinion" and soundly into "moral failing." Supporting him makes you a bad person.

I just had to say, I love this line. Well said.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is fascinating.

What does he like about Trump?

OP, so much sympathy for you. My mom and my dad cancel each other out at the polls every year, but they don't discuss politics at home. I dated a Republican for a long time in my youth and tolerated all kinds of political differences between us. But, in the end, I decided that many of his views were a reflection of large differences in our underlying values (equality vs. misogyny) and our assumptions and perceptions about the world and people around us, and thus, we weren't a good match. Since you're already married, perhaps you'll just have to say explicitly, we'll really have to agree to disagree. If you have kids, I think it's important that you say out loud and repeatedly that you disagree with his views and why. Hopefully, you two can arrive at an agreement that it's better just not to discuss.

If you feel like his political views are a reflection of underlying values that affect you and your marriage, I would focus more on his behavior/actions in the marriage rather than his words -- is he making misogynist/sexist assumptions about who does what? That's a problem you can address without politics.

In the meanwhile, please DO tell more about why you think your husband likes Trump. I can't for the life of me understand this phenomenon.

I'm convinced it's the culmination of years of really suck-ass history teaching across the country. My kids are getting less and less basic civics at the young age, and none of their peers ever read a real newspaper or outlet (and no, BuzzFeed lists do not count as news...) That and a combination of people who really can't contemplate Hillary Clinton for President, which I think has a largely sexist underpinning (even among women detractors....)

I think the main thing he likes is that Trump "speaks his mind." DH found Obama to be a huge disappointment because he talked so much about not being partisan and political, and DH feels liked to. He thinks that, at least with Trump, what you see if what you get. He also things that Trump would be strong on foreign policy and cannot possibly be as extreme as the things he sometimes says given his massive business successes.

On the Muslim thing, he thinks it is overstated since Trump only said temporarily until a system is worked out. He thinks it is hypocritical for people to get so outraged over that one statement when racial profiling is alive and well through America (he's a minority).

One of these things is not like the other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP -- mine too. I think a lot of white men, in particular, (whether blue collar or white collar) feel that someone has taken the rug from under their feet. They have a certain entitlement and like Trump because he says what they are thinking.

We are so politically correct nowadays that kids on nearly every college campus want to re-name stuff because someone did something terrible or said something terrible years ago. So many ridiculous examples. Like Woodrow Wilson at Princeton. He was the President of the US, but now the kids don't want stuff named after him. George Washington had slaves...so then why do we have GWU? It goes on and on.

No one wants a black person to be killed by a copy for God's sake. But, now every cop is presumed to be a bigot. They can't win.

Not every Muslim is a terrorist, of course. But nearly every terrorist is a Muslim. So, Trump has a point. Not every illegal is a criminal..but some are.

So, Trump has a struck a cord on many issues. Let it pass OP. I think Cruz and Rubio are much scarier than Trump. They both seem like really scary hispanics to me.

This is a bad joke, I suppose?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP -- mine too. I think a lot of white men, in particular, (whether blue collar or white collar) feel that someone has taken the rug from under their feet. They have a certain entitlement and like Trump because he says what they are thinking.

We are so politically correct nowadays that kids on nearly every college campus want to re-name stuff because someone did something terrible or said something terrible years ago. So many ridiculous examples. Like Woodrow Wilson at Princeton. He was the President of the US, but now the kids don't want stuff named after him. George Washington had slaves...so then why do we have GWU? It goes on and on.

No one wants a black person to be killed by a copy for God's sake. But, now every cop is presumed to be a bigot. They can't win.

Not every Muslim is a terrorist, of course. But nearly every terrorist is a Muslim. So, Trump has a point. Not every illegal is a criminal..but some are.

So, Trump has a struck a cord on many issues. Let it pass OP. I think Cruz and Rubio are much scarier than Trump. They both seem like really scary hispanics to me.

What is a scary Hispanic?

OP here - seriously, what does that mean?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorce him. Seriously. I couldn't stay married to someone with those values.

+1

I'm about to uninvite my ILs for the holidays. I don't want my children exposed to that kind of hate and ignorance.

This attitude right here is part of the reason Trump is having success.

As a college professor, I agree 100% with this. PP is one of those "don't expose me to ideas I disagree with" types.... the coddling students I teach on a daily basis who don't want rigorous arguments challenging them to defend their views.

As a college professor, I would hope that you are teaching your students that there is a meaningful difference between opinions that are actively xenophobic and based on lies and opinions that are simply different from their own. Trump has repeatedly lied about things that are verifiable, suggested policies that are unconstitutional, made comments that are blatantly racist, and shown absolutely no remorse for this behavior. I would be utterly delighted to not be exposed to his ideas - not just because I disagree with them, but because they are antithetical to pretty much everything I believe - and if I found out that a close friend or relative agreed with those things, I would not want to associate with that person any longer.

It is actually not unconstitutional to selectively control immigration, even based on religion.

Only because the Constitution doesn't apply outside US borders to people who are not US citizens.

It does apply to US Muslims who would be barred re-entry to the US solely on the basis of their religious preference - that would be unconstitutional.

Also, just because something is legal or even not unconstitutional doesn't make it the morally right or smart thing to do. That is something that has been lost on our policymakers in the area of drone warfare, torture, Geneva Conventions and surveillance,etc. in the last 15 years. I attribute that loss of policymaking perspective to the over-reliance on the opinions of lawyers (my own profession, I admit ashamedly), who make arguments about policy on the basis of what is legal and not what is wise, morally right and/or effective.