My Husband Supports Trump

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorce him. Seriously. I couldn't stay married to someone with those values.

+1

I'm about to uninvite my ILs for the holidays. I don't want my children exposed to that kind of hate and ignorance.

This attitude right here is part of the reason Trump is having success.

As a college professor, I agree 100% with this. PP is one of those "don't expose me to ideas I disagree with" types.... the coddling students I teach on a daily basis who don't want rigorous arguments challenging them to defend their views.

As a college professor, I would hope that you are teaching your students that there is a meaningful difference between opinions that are actively xenophobic and based on lies and opinions that are simply different from their own. Trump has repeatedly lied about things that are verifiable, suggested policies that are unconstitutional, made comments that are blatantly racist, and shown absolutely no remorse for this behavior. I would be utterly delighted to not be exposed to his ideas - not just because I disagree with them, but because they are antithetical to pretty much everything I believe - and if I found out that a close friend or relative agreed with those things, I would not want to associate with that person any longer.

+1000

I'm the PP who might uninvite ILs over this. We have a very diverse extended family - politics, religion, race, nationalities, etc. - and usually we do have healthy discussions about world topics with a variety of viewpoints. ILs have been leaning way way left in recent years and may have gone over the line in terms of ethics in my mind. My DH is a Republican (moderate) and he was shocked by what they said at Thanksgiving. Just like I said earlier, I don't want my children exposed to that. It's just not a difference of opinion, it's pure hatred of others.

Do you mean your ILs are leaning way right? I can't imagine where getting further left can get you into the realm of "pure hatred."

I think she meant right but are you mental? The left- and I mean not left leaning, I mean the Michael Moore's, the Che Guevara's hate America, Israel, the West. There is hate on the far end of each side of the political spectrum. That is a dangerous suggestion to make pp.

I do not for a second think that Trump hates anyone. He's not Hitler (he's not even close so enough with the comparisons) and I am Jewish) I think he's a fool and probably a Democratic plant at this point. His suggestion to halt Muslim immigration until we can make changes to the process was bizarre. Had he suggested we halt immigration from specific countries- Syria, Pakistan for 90 days to revamp the system or something along those lines.

I will support him if he's the nominee because I think he will keep us safer than Hillary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorce him. Seriously. I couldn't stay married to someone with those values.

+1

I'm about to uninvite my ILs for the holidays. I don't want my children exposed to that kind of hate and ignorance.

This attitude right here is part of the reason Trump is having success.

As a college professor, I agree 100% with this. PP is one of those "don't expose me to ideas I disagree with" types.... the coddling students I teach on a daily basis who don't want rigorous arguments challenging them to defend their views.

Yep. OP and all these others who are telling OP to divorce your husband over politics need to take a step back. People in this city care WAY more about politics than people in other parts of the country, and I'm not sure that is a good thing. My DH and I tend to vote for different parties' candidates and I'm always surprised how surprised people are about this. In the grand scheme of things, your politics don't matter that much to your relationship, OP. Ask DH not to discuss Trump anymore if you can't take it but don't let this infect your relationship - it's not actually all that important relative to his general disposition as a husband and father.

I'm one of the people who said divorce. I agree with you that relationships transcend politics, but supporting Trump means you support excluding people from the U.S. on the basis on religion, putting certain religious minorities on a special registration list, and that people with disabilities are less-than. Those are values that I couldn't live with in a spouse, which is more than merely politics.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I do not for a second think that Trump hates anyone. He's not Hitler (he's not even close so enough with the comparisons) and I am Jewish) I think he's a fool and probably a Democratic plant at this point. His suggestion to halt Muslim immigration until we can make changes to the process was bizarre. Had he suggested we halt immigration from specific countries- Syria, Pakistan for 90 days to revamp the system or something along those lines.

I will support him if he's the nominee because I think he will keep us safer than Hillary.

A Democratic plant? Are you insane? Trump is an egoist and a demagogue who pretty much cares only about his own personal advancement. And he may not believe what he is saying, but he's saying it anyway. He's saying that the United States should build a wall along our southern border. He's saying that Muslims should have to register. He's saying that we should ban Muslims from entering the United States. He endorsed the use of violence against a protester at one of his rallies. I don't know nor do I care what's in his heart. I care that he continues to spew hatred, racism, xenophobia, and fear into our political atmosphere.

You think he's a fool, but you would vote for him because he will keep us safe. Do you even bother to read what you write?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is fascinating.

What does he like about Trump?

OP, so much sympathy for you. My mom and my dad cancel each other out at the polls every year, but they don't discuss politics at home. I dated a Republican for a long time in my youth and tolerated all kinds of political differences between us. But, in the end, I decided that many of his views were a reflection of large differences in our underlying values (equality vs. misogyny) and our assumptions and perceptions about the world and people around us, and thus, we weren't a good match. Since you're already married, perhaps you'll just have to say explicitly, we'll really have to agree to disagree. If you have kids, I think it's important that you say out loud and repeatedly that you disagree with his views and why. Hopefully, you two can arrive at an agreement that it's better just not to discuss.

If you feel like his political views are a reflection of underlying values that affect you and your marriage, I would focus more on his behavior/actions in the marriage rather than his words -- is he making misogynist/sexist assumptions about who does what? That's a problem you can address without politics.

In the meanwhile, please DO tell more about why you think your husband likes Trump. I can't for the life of me understand this phenomenon.

I'm convinced it's the culmination of years of really suck-ass history teaching across the country. My kids are getting less and less basic civics at the young age, and none of their peers ever read a real newspaper or outlet (and no, BuzzFeed lists do not count as news...) That and a combination of people who really can't contemplate Hillary Clinton for President, which I think has a largely sexist underpinning (even among women detractors....)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorce him. Seriously. I couldn't stay married to someone with those values.

+1

I'm about to uninvite my ILs for the holidays. I don't want my children exposed to that kind of hate and ignorance.

This attitude right here is part of the reason Trump is having success.

As a college professor, I agree 100% with this. PP is one of those "don't expose me to ideas I disagree with" types.... the coddling students I teach on a daily basis who don't want rigorous arguments challenging them to defend their views.

Yep. OP and all these others who are telling OP to divorce your husband over politics need to take a step back. People in this city care WAY more about politics than people in other parts of the country, and I'm not sure that is a good thing. My DH and I tend to vote for different parties' candidates and I'm always surprised how surprised people are about this. In the grand scheme of things, your politics don't matter that much to your relationship, OP. Ask DH not to discuss Trump anymore if you can't take it but don't let this infect your relationship - it's not actually all that important relative to his general disposition as a husband and father.

I'm one of the people who said divorce. I agree with you that relationships transcend politics, but supporting Trump means you support excluding people from the U.S. on the basis on religion, putting certain religious minorities on a special registration list, and that people with disabilities are less-than. Those are values that I couldn't live with in a spouse, which is more than merely politics.

Did OP actually say anywhere that her DH agreed with the keeping out all Muslims thing? A person could theoretically support Trump and not agree with every single statement. I think assuming that he agrees with this latest statement on Muslims and then judging his values accordingly is a BIG leap.

+1

[Anonymous]

LOL.

My husband announced The Donald would be his revenge vote but his man is Ted Cruz.

Nothing could stop my love for him. Nothing. Except if he had an abortion but since that's unlikely, love grows.

When he said the above to my sister's shack up, the man nearly almost passed out. It was so funny ! He's one of those socialist bumper sticker liberals. Sometimes I think it's the only thing keeping his vehicle from falling apart. I have pictures.

If my sister or her bed partner spoke to us the way some of you post here, I'd disown both of them. Not because of their different views but because they let politics TRUMP family love. I can't have that. I'm above that. To a certain point. A point no one has ever crossed. We laugh. Life is too short.

I just sent her grocery money. Boyfriend got laid off. Again. I don't hold grudges like some of you do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorce him. Seriously. I couldn't stay married to someone with those values.

+1

I'm about to uninvite my ILs for the holidays. I don't want my children exposed to that kind of hate and ignorance.

This attitude right here is part of the reason Trump is having success.

As a college professor, I agree 100% with this. PP is one of those "don't expose me to ideas I disagree with" types.... the coddling students I teach on a daily basis who don't want rigorous arguments challenging them to defend their views.

Yep. OP and all these others who are telling OP to divorce your husband over politics need to take a step back. People in this city care WAY more about politics than people in other parts of the country, and I'm not sure that is a good thing. My DH and I tend to vote for different parties' candidates and I'm always surprised how surprised people are about this. In the grand scheme of things, your politics don't matter that much to your relationship, OP. Ask DH not to discuss Trump anymore if you can't take it but don't let this infect your relationship - it's not actually all that important relative to his general disposition as a husband and father.

I'm one of the people who said divorce. I agree with you that relationships transcend politics, but supporting Trump means you support excluding people from the U.S. on the basis on religion, putting certain religious minorities on a special registration list, and that people with disabilities are less-than. Those are values that I couldn't live with in a spouse, which is more than merely politics.

Did OP actually say anywhere that her DH agreed with the keeping out all Muslims thing? A person could theoretically support Trump and not agree with every single statement. I think assuming that he agrees with this latest statement on Muslims and then judging his values accordingly is a BIG leap.

+1

Except that this was not an isolated statement. Trump has repeatedly made statements like this. If you support him, you have to know that you're supporting someone who has advocated for a number of racist, xenophobic policies over a sustained period of time. At what point does a normal person say, "Well, I like his tax policy, but I just can't support someone like that."?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:LOL.

My husband announced The Donald would be his revenge vote but his man is Ted Cruz.

Nothing could stop my love for him. Nothing. Except if he had an abortion but since that's unlikely, love grows.

When he said the above to my sister's shack up, the man nearly almost passed out. It was so funny ! He's one of those socialist bumper sticker liberals. Sometimes I think it's the only thing keeping his vehicle from falling apart. I have pictures.

If my sister or her bed partner spoke to us the way some of you post here, I'd disown both of them. Not because of their different views but because they let politics TRUMP family love. I can't have that. I'm above that. To a certain point. A point no one has ever crossed. We laugh. Life is too short.

I just sent her grocery money. Boyfriend got laid off. Again. I don't hold grudges like some of you do.

If my sister referred to my boyfriend as my "shack up" or "bed partner" that would be the end of the relationship.

Speaking of not wanting to have a relationship with people with mean-spirited values.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:LOL.

My husband announced The Donald would be his revenge vote but his man is Ted Cruz.

Nothing could stop my love for him. Nothing. Except if he had an abortion but since that's unlikely, love grows.

When he said the above to my sister's shack up, the man nearly almost passed out. It was so funny ! He's one of those socialist bumper sticker liberals. Sometimes I think it's the only thing keeping his vehicle from falling apart. I have pictures.

If my sister or her bed partner spoke to us the way some of you post here, I'd disown both of them. Not because of their different views but because they let politics TRUMP family love. I can't have that. I'm above that. To a certain point. A point no one has ever crossed. We laugh. Life is too short.

I just sent her grocery money. Boyfriend got laid off. Again. I don't hold grudges like some of you do.

Let me get this straight:

Your husband supports Ted Cruz, and other than him getting an abortion (something that will never occur because he is not a woman), there is nothing that will change your love for him. Your sister is in a relationship with but not married to someone who has a "socialist liberal" bumper sticker on an old car. They have different values than you do, but if they were outspoken about that, you'd disown them, despite condemning them for letting politics trump family love, which you would never do.

Also you do not hold grudges, but referred to your sister's partner in 3 different mocking/insulting ways.

You sound like a really lovely person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorce him. Seriously. I couldn't stay married to someone with those values.

+1

I'm about to uninvite my ILs for the holidays. I don't want my children exposed to that kind of hate and ignorance.

This attitude right here is part of the reason Trump is having success.

As a college professor, I agree 100% with this. PP is one of those "don't expose me to ideas I disagree with" types.... the coddling students I teach on a daily basis who don't want rigorous arguments challenging them to defend their views.

As a college professor, I would hope that you are teaching your students that there is a meaningful difference between opinions that are actively xenophobic and based on lies and opinions that are simply different from their own. Trump has repeatedly lied about things that are verifiable, suggested policies that are unconstitutional, made comments that are blatantly racist, and shown absolutely no remorse for this behavior. I would be utterly delighted to not be exposed to his ideas - not just because I disagree with them, but because they are antithetical to pretty much everything I believe - and if I found out that a close friend or relative agreed with those things, I would not want to associate with that person any longer.

+1000

I'm the PP who might uninvite ILs over this. We have a very diverse extended family - politics, religion, race, nationalities, etc. - and usually we do have healthy discussions about world topics with a variety of viewpoints. ILs have been leaning way way left in recent years and may have gone over the line in terms of ethics in my mind. My DH is a Republican (moderate) and he was shocked by what they said at Thanksgiving. Just like I said earlier, I don't want my children exposed to that. It's just not a difference of opinion, it's pure hatred of others.

Do you mean your ILs are leaning way right? I can't imagine where getting further left can get you into the realm of "pure hatred."

Yes, leaning way more right than before! Thanks for correcting!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is fascinating.

What does he like about Trump?

OP, so much sympathy for you. My mom and my dad cancel each other out at the polls every year, but they don't discuss politics at home. I dated a Republican for a long time in my youth and tolerated all kinds of political differences between us. But, in the end, I decided that many of his views were a reflection of large differences in our underlying values (equality vs. misogyny) and our assumptions and perceptions about the world and people around us, and thus, we weren't a good match. Since you're already married, perhaps you'll just have to say explicitly, we'll really have to agree to disagree. If you have kids, I think it's important that you say out loud and repeatedly that you disagree with his views and why. Hopefully, you two can arrive at an agreement that it's better just not to discuss.

If you feel like his political views are a reflection of underlying values that affect you and your marriage, I would focus more on his behavior/actions in the marriage rather than his words -- is he making misogynist/sexist assumptions about who does what? That's a problem you can address without politics.

In the meanwhile, please DO tell more about why you think your husband likes Trump. I can't for the life of me understand this phenomenon.

I'm convinced it's the culmination of years of really suck-ass history teaching across the country. My kids are getting less and less basic civics at the young age, and none of their peers ever read a real newspaper or outlet (and no, BuzzFeed lists do not count as news...) That and a combination of people who really can't contemplate Hillary Clinton for President, which I think has a largely sexist underpinning (even among women detractors....)

I think the main thing he likes is that Trump "speaks his mind." DH found Obama to be a huge disappointment because he talked so much about not being partisan and political, and DH feels liked to. He thinks that, at least with Trump, what you see if what you get. He also things that Trump would be strong on foreign policy and cannot possibly be as extreme as the things he sometimes says given his massive business successes.

On the Muslim thing, he thinks it is overstated since Trump only said temporarily until a system is worked out. He thinks it is hypocritical for people to get so outraged over that one statement when racial profiling is alive and well through America (he's a minority).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is fascinating.

What does he like about Trump?

OP, so much sympathy for you. My mom and my dad cancel each other out at the polls every year, but they don't discuss politics at home. I dated a Republican for a long time in my youth and tolerated all kinds of political differences between us. But, in the end, I decided that many of his views were a reflection of large differences in our underlying values (equality vs. misogyny) and our assumptions and perceptions about the world and people around us, and thus, we weren't a good match. Since you're already married, perhaps you'll just have to say explicitly, we'll really have to agree to disagree. If you have kids, I think it's important that you say out loud and repeatedly that you disagree with his views and why. Hopefully, you two can arrive at an agreement that it's better just not to discuss.

If you feel like his political views are a reflection of underlying values that affect you and your marriage, I would focus more on his behavior/actions in the marriage rather than his words -- is he making misogynist/sexist assumptions about who does what? That's a problem you can address without politics.

In the meanwhile, please DO tell more about why you think your husband likes Trump. I can't for the life of me understand this phenomenon.

I'm convinced it's the culmination of years of really suck-ass history teaching across the country. My kids are getting less and less basic civics at the young age, and none of their peers ever read a real newspaper or outlet (and no, BuzzFeed lists do not count as news...) That and a combination of people who really can't contemplate Hillary Clinton for President, which I think has a largely sexist underpinning (even among women detractors....)

I think the main thing he likes is that Trump "speaks his mind." DH found Obama to be a huge disappointment because he talked so much about not being partisan and political, and DH feels liked to. He thinks that, at least with Trump, what you see if what you get. He also things that Trump would be strong on foreign policy and cannot possibly be as extreme as the things he sometimes says given his massive business successes.

On the Muslim thing, he thinks it is overstated since Trump only said temporarily until a system is worked out. He thinks it is hypocritical for people to get so outraged over that one statement when racial profiling is alive and well through America (he's a minority).

Liking him because he "speaks his mind" and what you see is what you get is fundamentally incompatible with thinking he says things he doesn't believe.

And your DH's solution to systemic racism is more racism?

Your DH has issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Divorce him. Seriously. I couldn't stay married to someone with those values.

+1

I'm about to uninvite my ILs for the holidays. I don't want my children exposed to that kind of hate and ignorance.

I'm the person on the politics thread who has started posting snopes links in response to family member facebook postings that are blatantly false. I'm hoping it enrages them and they won't come spew their hate for Christmas.

I have a no politics policy for FB, but maybe I'll set up Snopes on our large screen TV to dispel bogus claims on the spot.

[Anonymous]

This is a hilarious thread. It also seems to me like trolling, and if not, still belongs in the politics forum.

That said, on the more generic level (without getting into the partisan name calling), it may reveal huge differences of values. I never used to think these things were so important - that relationships could transcend this issues.

However, after a really obnoxious and contentious (and passionate) relationship with a woman who believe in creationism (while I believe in empiricism and science), I began to realize how much these debates were more a reflection of the way we viewed and understood the world around us, and not just about a particular issue. More to the point: these different approaches were reflected in the way we handled the relationship itself.

So, I'm not sure if it's grounds for divorce, particularly after children, but I sure as hell think it's grounds to break off an engagement or a long-term relationship.

[Anonymous]

Only one thing to do: DTMF