Did I deserve such rudeness?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Dear OP,

Having carefully read your post, I see absolutely no sign that this woman was rude to you first, nor that she deserved to be spoken to in that way. I do see that *you* started the rudeness by writing:
"watch your tone when you're talking to people".
And of course, if you are rude to someone for NO good reason, you should be prepared for some backlash.

Honestly, I'm not sure what's going through your head, OP. You sound as if you don't want this party to be a success. You acted as if you didn't appreciate this woman's genuine attempts to be helpful. Just because she has different opinions than yours, it doesn't make her wrong or rude. Are you jealous of your sister? Are you unconsciously trying to sabotage her party? I'm not expecting you to come up with an honest answer. My mother constantly sabotages me and would never admit it, even to herself.

OP here.

Does ANYONE not understand what I was responding to??

I reached out to HER for her SUGGESTIONS.

It was RUDE of her to dismiss my aunts sweet gesture as " lol. thats a lame party".

I love you! Keep responding!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Dear OP,

Having carefully read your post, I see absolutely no sign that this woman was rude to you first, nor that she deserved to be spoken to in that way. I do see that *you* started the rudeness by writing:
"watch your tone when you're talking to people".
And of course, if you are rude to someone for NO good reason, you should be prepared for some backlash.

Honestly, I'm not sure what's going through your head, OP. You sound as if you don't want this party to be a success. You acted as if you didn't appreciate this woman's genuine attempts to be helpful. Just because she has different opinions than yours, it doesn't make her wrong or rude. Are you jealous of your sister? Are you unconsciously trying to sabotage her party? I'm not expecting you to come up with an honest answer. My mother constantly sabotages me and would never admit it, even to herself.

OP here.

Does ANYONE not understand what I was responding to??

I reached out to HER for her SUGGESTIONS.

It was RUDE of her to dismiss my aunts sweet gesture as " lol. thats a lame party".

I love you! Keep responding!

+1, there's nothing good on tv right now, entertain us some more, OP!

[Anonymous]

This thread has some serious long-lasting potential.

[Anonymous]

Still don't get why the guest list for a party in May has to be nailed down now.

[Anonymous]

Yes. you did. but keep going. because each one of your posts is another nail in the coffin.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Still don't get why the guest list for a party in May has to be nailed down now.

I missed that. You're right!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree with everyone else. OP, you were wrong and extremely rude. By 27 you should know better. You asked for help, received it, criticized the suggestions, then chastised the friend for her perceived tone over a text message. Do you really not see the problem?

P.S. as it stood, there was only going to be one friend of your sister's at this party. That's sad. I think the friend was probably trying to boost the numbers so your sister wouldn't be embarrassed. Under the circumstances, it seems the guy she's talking to and another girl she has hung out with at least once are appropriate suggestions. It's not like there are any better options.

In fact, you seem determined to emphasize your sister's loner status in front of your family by keeping her friends away. You may want to examine your motivations here.

OP here.

It was this girl who was being unspeakably rude! It was extremely kind of my aunt to host a celebration for my sister's graduation. It was extremely nice of her to loop me in. It was also very nice of ME to even nudge this girl for her thoughts.

WHAT is rude about contemplating whether the two weak prospects she suggested were legitimate candidates for an invite! How would my sister feel randomly having a girl she hung out with a semester ago to her aunt's house? How would she feel walking in and seeing this boy she was talking to sitting in her aunt's living room all the while she has not had the chance to introduce him to anyone?!

Hi Scarlett O'Hara. In 2015, you don't need to formally introduce male suitors to your family before inviting them to parties. This person is a friend your sister hung out with, you can't verify the boyfriend status, just treat him as a friend regardless of gender.
"Weak prospects"? "Legitimate candidates"? Still in the antebellum South are we? Are your social mores this stringent that acquaintances are candidates that have to be rated according to social importance?

You sound VERY VERY rigid about rules, OP, with no common sense or social finesse to leaven it. Do you have Asperger's?

[Anonymous]

Wow, no wonder your sister is a loner. I'd become Jeffrey Dahmer if I had a sister like you to "help" my social life.

[Anonymous]

When you're trying to do a favor for someone, you're not allowed to just say anything that pops into your head to their friends. You may have been doing your sister a favor by trying to help figure out who to invite, and your sister's friend was doing YOU a favor as you had asked her by responding to your question.

The friend was trying to do YOU a favor to help your sister, so you should simply thank them and, if you're not going to take their suggestions, make sure you indicate that in an especially nice way. Your response as you described it here does not sound nice or solicitous of the friend's attempt to help you. Instead it sounds like you are shrugging off her suggestion. Since she helped you out, she deserved a gentler response.

[Anonymous]

I think she struck a nerve when she told you (jokingly) that it sounded like a lame party. I think you knew she was right -- inviting so few classmates is an extremely lame effort on your part -- and you got very angry out of defensiveness. That's the only reason why you would be so defensive about a silly little remark.

[Anonymous]

You have no idea who she hangs out with, or how many times. (LOL.. what a concept. Counting how many times they've hung out.)

You were rude. The party sounds a little odd with you deciding who "deserves" an invitation.

I agree with PP who suggested a small family party. Your sister may not appreciate the surprise aspect, and it doesn't sound like you have much of a clue as to what her life is really like.

FWIW, I'm envisioning tea and dainties at this party. I don't know why, just something about your attitude and the way you're going about this.

[Anonymous]

It's kind of rude to even reach out to her "friends" if you know she's a loner.

[Anonymous]

I only read the first page, but it seems weird your aunt is coming up with this party. Why not ask your sister or maybe you said it's a surprise party? Can't it just be a family party? If she barely has friends anyway, it might be awkward.

[Anonymous]

Is anyone else wondering why OP felt the need to drop in the "3 beautiful children" line in her original post? This whole thread is so bizarre, there definitely seems to be something broken in OP's social skills and ability to relate to others.

[Anonymous]

OP's sister probably has a lot of friends, it's just that OP disregards them (just like she did the guest suggestions.)