Anyone feel guilty for having money?

[Anonymous]

No! I only regret that we don't have more of it, but it will grow in time. Admittedly, if you believe DCUM's claims of HHI, DH & I don't count as well off at all, but if you look at the national and DC averages, we're doing O.K.

It's all a matter of perspective. Just make sure to put $$ away for emergencies, the kids and the future, and you'll be fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Actually, I kind of felt guilty when i started making more than my parents did. I felt bad that they are working so hard and making less.

I agree. My mom has always worked much harder than me but I am making more money than she ever did. She is super happy for me and my family but I feel a bit guilty. I also feel guilty when I see a lot of very hard working people barely making after working 60 hours week.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:President Obama was right to talk about bitter people in small town Pennsylvania clinging to guns and religion. Kind of dumb to have made that statement in San Francisco though.

He was RIGHT about this?

Please. One more thing that he knows absolutely nothing about - one big generalization with no substance - telling other people how to live their lives. He should spend more time worrying about clinging to empty narrative - trying to win liberal votes from people he considers 'smart' by degrading a bunch of people he considers hicks.

I am guessing none of the people weighing in on the conditions or attitudes of small towns have never spent any time there, yet you get to judge an entire group of people. Simple prejudice.

[Anonymous]

Slight bit of guilt re my parents, but not re anyone else. At age 25, I started making in my first job as much or more than my dad made near retirement. Kind of felt bad about that but it was just 2 different industries. But then I didn't feel THAT bad bc the reality is that I worked at places where I was on 24-7 -- basically "on call," whereas he NEVER worked a job in his career that was over 40 hrs/wk, if he had to work 1 weekend a yr it was a BIG deal, and even when they were young and could have used the money - my dad would turn down overtime opportunities bc he thought 40 hrs a week was more than enough.

[Anonymous]

Yes I feel terribly guilty. I am constantly worried that it's not going to last. I work really hard for my money, but I also know that I've benefitted in many ways to get where I am now. I know I easily could be in a much worse financial situation but for the grace of God.

[Anonymous]

I feel guilty. Yes, I worked hard in school, but my parents gave me a lot too: paid for most of undergrad, $ for wedding, $ for an apartment down payment, all with no strings attached. Then I got married and over the past few years my husband's job has made us rich beyond where I though we would ever be. My husband was similarly fortunate to have his undergrad fully paid for by a relative.
We give $ to charity, to family, will fund 529s for our nieces and nephews if their parents let us, and my job is public interest but I still feel guilty. And lucky every minute of the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes I feel terribly guilty. I am constantly worried that it's not going to last. I work really hard for my money, but I also know that I've benefitted in many ways to get where I am now. I know I easily could be in a much worse financial situation but for the grace of God.

+1

[Anonymous]

Grandma felt guilty abut being so rich and it bugged her until the day that she died

/ But I will take my inheritance and invest it with pride

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We work very hard for what we have also and both come from blue collar humble beginnings. But, being in such a different status now and having it acknowledged by them especially, makes me feel weird.

I still wouldn't feel guilty even if they are blue collar and you aren't. Likely you worked hard through college, grad school, and any number of jobs to get to where you're at. I fee like people assume that those who have some money were just handed said money. I'm an atty and have put up with some difficult firms and my current shitty govt job to make money, so I won't be made to feel guilty about it.

+1

People who count others' pennies have zero idea what it takes to earn their own.

This. I have extended family in rural Pa that literally says - I'd be rich too if I went to a fancy Ivy League college. Not realizing that that involved - being at the top of my high school class to get into said ivy; loans; working my ass off to do well in college to get into a top 10 law school; more loans; working 24-7 in biglaw for a decade; getting pushed out and sucking it up in the govt until I figure out my next step.

Somehow people think money just shows up for the asking once you get admitted to a certain school by luck.

Do you really think less well off people don't realize this? If they don't realize all this, then no wonder wealthy people think poor people are uneducated/unworldly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In most cases, having money or not is all about work ethics, focus and priorities. To answer the OP question - No, not a bit!

So far, this whole thread has been pretty clueless, but you are officially the worst. And stupidest.

OP, I can't answer your question as we only have money compared to much of the country and world, but not much here, and it's really uncomfortable being on the poor end of that relationship. I am aware that our vacations are only to visit family, our house is small and shabby, our clothes are Target and Lands End, etc. I would never dream of saying anything to my monied friends - rude - but it is hard to feel, especially suddenly, like a poor relation.

Why are you poor compared to your monied friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Exactly. If you're "rich," you're automatically a sob. If you're smart you go to the 4th tier small college down the road, commuting from home. If you choose ANY 4 yr university besides that one, you think you're better than everyone. If you go to some other school or work elsewhere but eventually return, it's bc you couldn't "make it" in the big world. If you pursue a career in a big city, money is all that matters to you and you've abandoned God and your family.

Some of those 2000 person small town can be tough.

This mentality is why sophisticated people think small town folk are hicks. Such stupid way of thinking.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just got in a weird text fight about this exact thing with my sister's MIL. (baby shower issue). There was an awkward beginning with a comment that I could pay for it all, and then when I suggested that the budget wouldn't work (MIL wanted to invite 50-60 people and rent a space on a $500 total budget), I pointed out that it wouldn't work because we couldn't afford to feed anyone anything and have the space. She said then I could just pay for all of it and that I should stop being so negative, and this party wasn't about me. Did I mention I've only met her 4-5 times?

I'm the only one of my family who left a small midwest town, and I feel like the more successful I get, the more my family resents me, despite that I super try to focus just on them when I talk to them. This is why I'm in therapy.

THEY should be in therapy, not you.

[Anonymous]

Nope. I don't believe in feeling guilty for things that we've earned.

[Anonymous]

Our household income is $170K - so not high on this board - but we no longer live in DC and it's very, very high compared to the average income in the blue collar town we live in. I don't exactly feel guilty, but I work hard to not show off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This morning, a family member asked me to attend something next week and I said I'd love to, but we'll be out of town. Her reply was, "Again?! I wish I had the money to travel like you do. Must be nice". The thing is, we don't even have that much money, we just like to travel and forego other things (eating out, expensive clothing, etc) in order to do that. But, I know we have more money than a lot of people in my family and I feel guilty about it. I don't brag about our life or trips, but since they're close by, they know about it and I think they assume we roll around in piles of money at night. It makes me feel awkward. Anyone else?

brag disguised as self-loathing. Oh PLEASE!!!