Anyone feel guilty for having money?

[Anonymous]

This morning, a family member asked me to attend something next week and I said I'd love to, but we'll be out of town. Her reply was, "Again?! I wish I had the money to travel like you do. Must be nice". The thing is, we don't even have that much money, we just like to travel and forego other things (eating out, expensive clothing, etc) in order to do that. But, I know we have more money than a lot of people in my family and I feel guilty about it. I don't brag about our life or trips, but since they're close by, they know about it and I think they assume we roll around in piles of money at night. It makes me feel awkward. Anyone else?

[Anonymous]

No. Worked hard for all I have, and while I won't brag about it or post it on FB, I feel ok spending it as I wish. Though often I'm less of a big spender than people w less money -- so then I'll invest it as I wish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No. Worked hard for all I have, and while I won't brag about it or post it on FB, I feel ok spending it as I wish. Though often I'm less of a big spender than people w less money -- so then I'll invest it as I wish.

No. I'm self made (okay, my parents paid for most of college). And I give generously to the less fortunate.

[Anonymous]

No, same here pp. I worked hard and lived like a pauper. My husband and I travel all of the time. I commuted to college because I couldn't afford to live in a dorm. If more people lived like paupers in their youth, they probably would have more money later on.

[Anonymous]

I worked really hard for my money. Why the heck would I feel guilty? I'd share my money with my family, but my mom won't hear of it. She won't let me pay for anything.

[Anonymous]

OP here. We work very hard for what we have also and both come from blue collar humble beginnings. But, being in such a different status now and having it acknowledged by them especially, makes me feel weird.

[Anonymous]

No. We worked hard for what we have and are incredibly generous with it. We are raising kids who love to give/be of service. I feel lucky to be able to help others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We work very hard for what we have also and both come from blue collar humble beginnings. But, being in such a different status now and having it acknowledged by them especially, makes me feel weird.

I still wouldn't feel guilty even if they are blue collar and you aren't. Likely you worked hard through college, grad school, and any number of jobs to get to where you're at. I fee like people assume that those who have some money were just handed said money. I'm an atty and have put up with some difficult firms and my current shitty govt job to make money, so I won't be made to feel guilty about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We work very hard for what we have also and both come from blue collar humble beginnings. But, being in such a different status now and having it acknowledged by them especially, makes me feel weird.

You feel weird, because you are weird.

[Anonymous]

No. We stay humble, as anyone should. DH and I paid for our own college 100% plus (long story) and educations; and anything else that came along. We made sacrifices more often than not. We give to specific charities, at specific times, without telling anyone about it.

As PP mentioned, we live more frugally than most people with less money, so what is it to them? When people think you have money, they feel entitled to it, if only for you to "treat" for dinners out (more expensive dinners than you would choose). In fact, people feel entitled to all sorts of crazy things (you would be shocked and saddened at people's attitudes when they think you have money). People try to count others pennies, especially in this area. Frankly, people can be too stupid to mind their own. So, if anything, I can be defensive, if need be.

Do we owe anyone anything? Absolutely not. Since you asked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We work very hard for what we have also and both come from blue collar humble beginnings. But, being in such a different status now and having it acknowledged by them especially, makes me feel weird.

I still wouldn't feel guilty even if they are blue collar and you aren't. Likely you worked hard through college, grad school, and any number of jobs to get to where you're at. I fee like people assume that those who have some money were just handed said money. I'm an atty and have put up with some difficult firms and my current shitty govt job to make money, so I won't be made to feel guilty about it.

+1

People who count others' pennies have zero idea what it takes to earn their own.

[Anonymous]

Would you rather it be the opposite?


I came from very little and now we are in great shape. My family can't relate most of the time but it doesn't create barriers.


I certainly never feel guilty, not for a second.

[Anonymous]

We don't have a lot of money when compared to the many wealthy people in the DC area, but we definitely have more money than my family. My husband and I both have worked extremely hard in our careers. I don't feel guilty about telling my mom we are going on vacation or buying something for the house. She always seems happy for me -- isn't that how it should be?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don't have a lot of money when compared to the many wealthy people in the DC area, but we definitely have more money than my family. My husband and I both have worked extremely hard in our careers. I don't feel guilty about telling my mom we are going on vacation or buying something for the house. She always seems happy for me -- isn't that how it should be?

It *should* be, but usually is not. It depends on the dynamics of your family, your peers, your social choices, etc. In other words, don't let the bastards get you down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. We work very hard for what we have also and both come from blue collar humble beginnings. But, being in such a different status now and having it acknowledged by them especially, makes me feel weird.

You feel weird, because you are weird.

Rude.