Engagement ring size in your social circle?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mid-30s, DC. My friends generally have huge rings, but many, many halos. My mom is constantly commenting on how big the rings of my friends seem to be - says it seems to be a cultural change + getting married later in life + wanting to keep up with the joneses. When she got married in the mid-1970s, right out of college, she had a chip of a diamond and says that was normal. That said, a lot of her friends have since "upgraded."

My ring is a heirloom multi-stone, about 3.25 total. But it was FREE.

If you're anything like myself and my friends, you'll probably take it off when you have a baby and it occurs to you that it may scratch the baby. It never goes back on except for special occasions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those with big rings (1.75 carats or larger) are they even high quality diamonds? From my previous engagement to my ex, back in 2008 I knew that a 1.2 carat ring with a diamond of high quality would easily break $10K.

It's absurd when people have something that's 2 carats. No way it hell it is a high quality rock. The stone itself would easily be $20-25K

Why do assume people don't spend that much? Some spend 40-50 k.

[Anonymous]

I've noticed that people who marry later in life have larger rings, makes sense, higher earning at that age. I love to ask people about tiny rings -- often those are high school sweethearts who've been together a long time. Very sweet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've noticed that people who marry later in life have larger rings, makes sense, higher earning at that age. I love to ask people about tiny rings -- often those are high school sweethearts who've been together a long time. Very sweet.

Why? The higher divorce risk?

I wonder how you can pose a question about jewelry without sounding obsessed.

[Anonymous]

This thread really makes us catty, huh?

In my original social circle, 1.5 - 3 was the norm, with some outliers (one gf married someone 15 years older and got a 6 carat ring, pretty but ostentatious).

Mine is 1.8. When we got engaged, that was important to me that it be in that range because it felt like everyone else I knew had a ring that size (I know, I know but I was youngish).

I love my ring, but my husband is a professors, not a banker or in big law. We're mid 30's now, and none of the other professor's wives have rings like mine, so my husband actually prefers that i not wear it around colleagues or other university area people - which is most of the people we see now.

C'est la vie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mid-30s, DC. My friends generally have huge rings, but many, many halos. My mom is constantly commenting on how big the rings of my friends seem to be - says it seems to be a cultural change + getting married later in life + wanting to keep up with the joneses. When she got married in the mid-1970s, right out of college, she had a chip of a diamond and says that was normal. That said, a lot of her friends have since "upgraded."

My ring is a heirloom multi-stone, about 3.25 total. But it was FREE.

If you're anything like myself and my friends, you'll probably take it off when you have a baby and it occurs to you that it may scratch the baby. It never goes back on except for special occasions.

I am like the PP. I took my engagement ring off when I had my first child four years ago. I work from home. I wear it to work when I am in the office or out for special occasions. So, I probably wear it only 10 days a year. Been married since 2009. Ring size is 1.5 and it is nice quality stone. I don't like a lot of materialistic things, but the one thing I like is my ring. I do want an upgrade to 2 carats someday but I will probably just buy it myself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those with big rings (1.75 carats or larger) are they even high quality diamonds? From my previous engagement to my ex, back in 2008 I knew that a 1.2 carat ring with a diamond of high quality would easily break $10K.

It's absurd when people have something that's 2 carats. No way it hell it is a high quality rock. The stone itself would easily be $20-25K

Why do assume people don't spend that much? Some spend 40-50 k.

My original ring was about $2500. After 15 years, I got a new ring with a 3.4 carat, very high quality diamond. The diamond alone was about $30,000, the band was another 15K. I did love the ring; it was truly beautiful. I would have never agreed to spending that much money on a ring -- he bought it secretly because he knew I would flip out if I was involved. I would often flip the ring to the underside of my hand, so that it couldn't be seen. It felt ostentatious and a little vulgar much of the time.

I later learned each time my exDH got me expensive jewelry over the years, it was directly related to when he was having affairs. I am now divorced and single. Happily, I'd say that, for the most part, divorce agrees with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those with big rings (1.75 carats or larger) are they even high quality diamonds? From my previous engagement to my ex, back in 2008 I knew that a 1.2 carat ring with a diamond of high quality would easily break $10K.

It's absurd when people have something that's 2 carats. No way it hell it is a high quality rock. The stone itself would easily be $20-25K

Why do assume people don't spend that much? Some spend 40-50 k.

My original ring was about $2500. After 15 years, I got a new ring with a 3.4 carat, very high quality diamond. The diamond alone was about $30,000, the band was another 15K. I did love the ring; it was truly beautiful. I would have never agreed to spending that much money on a ring -- he bought it secretly because he knew I would flip out if I was involved. I would often flip the ring to the underside of my hand, so that it couldn't be seen. It felt ostentatious and a little vulgar much of the time.

I later learned each time my exDH got me expensive jewelry over the years, it was directly related to when he was having affairs. I am now divorced and single. Happily, I'd say that, for the most part, divorce agrees with me.

Ouch, sorry to hear that PP. How gutting. In any case, good to hear you're happier these days!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This thread really makes us catty, huh?

In my original social circle, 1.5 - 3 was the norm, with some outliers (one gf married someone 15 years older and got a 6 carat ring, pretty but ostentatious).

Mine is 1.8. When we got engaged, that was important to me that it be in that range because it felt like everyone else I knew had a ring that size (I know, I know but I was youngish).

I love my ring, but my husband is a professors, not a banker or in big law. We're mid 30's now, and none of the other professor's wives have rings like mine, so my husband actually prefers that i not wear it around colleagues or other university area people - which is most of the people we see now.

C'est la vie.

Did you tell him you expected a ring that size?

[Anonymous]

Halo rings can be very pretty, and if that's what you want, go for it, and enjoy.

But I don't think many people understand why jewelers/marketing agencies are pushing this particular look so hard, making it such a trend.

A one-carat solitaire is far and away more rare and valuable than a "one-carat total weight ring." So if your center stone is .75 carats, surrounded by .25 of "promotional grade" diamonds, you are being SOLD a one-carat ring that doesn't really translate to one-carat solitaire market value. (Mileage varies, of course, I'm speaking in general terms.)

They're trying to sell you the "one-carat ring experience" while not giving you the one-carat value.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine is 0.5; most in my circle are larger. I got married early and DH paid for it all himself.

My BFF has a HUGE ring. That her DH put on their joint credit card and took forever to pay off.

Better than being saddled with a tiny ring. I want a rock and if I had to pay for it, no problem.

DH makes 7 figures now; trust me - if I want a new one its not a problem. Its not a priority for me.

Your spouse makes 7 figures and you have a 0.5 carat? Lol. That is embarrassing.

PP back - why is it embarrassing? I feel no embarrassment whatsoever- I feel a lot of pride in the ring DH bought me when we were starting out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine is 0.5; most in my circle are larger. I got married early and DH paid for it all himself.

My BFF has a HUGE ring. That her DH put on their joint credit card and took forever to pay off.

Better than being saddled with a tiny ring. I want a rock and if I had to pay for it, no problem.

DH makes 7 figures now; trust me - if I want a new one its not a problem. Its not a priority for me.

Your spouse makes 7 figures and you have a 0.5 carat? Lol. That is embarrassing that I would even suggest such a thing.

PP back - why is it embarrassing? I feel no embarrassment whatsoever- I feel a lot of pride in the ring DH bought me when we were starting out.

There you go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mine is 0.5; most in my circle are larger. I got married early and DH paid for it all himself.

My BFF has a HUGE ring. That her DH put on their joint credit card and took forever to pay off.

Better than being saddled with a tiny ring. I want a rock and if I had to pay for it, no problem.

DH makes 7 figures now; trust me - if I want a new one its not a problem. Its not a priority for me.

Your spouse makes 7 figures and you have a 0.5 carat? Lol. That is embarrassing.

PP back - why is it embarrassing? I feel no embarrassment whatsoever- I feel a lot of pride in the ring DH bought me when we were starting out.

Don't be embarrassed. You and your husband are smart with money.
Be proud!

[Anonymous]

My man and I have no rings. Our love transcends manmade trinkets obsessed over by others. Our love is pure.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My man and I have no rings. Our love transcends manmade trinkets obsessed over by others. Our love is pure.

My, you have a long-winded way of saying "poor."