The "guns in the house" question for playdates

[Anonymous]

Op, to answer your question, it is considered both weird and impolite to ask about guns before a play date. And I always ask. I don't care what my kid's friends' parents think of me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hope you all are asking about treadmills as well.

Or if all their bookcases, dressers, and hutches are attached to the walls.

[Anonymous]

1. I will think you are a weirdo for asking.

2. I am going to lie to you and say "nope, no guns here".

Especially because the kind of person who asks is EXACTLY the kind of person to whom I don't want to give the real answer.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't ask if they have a gun -- better to ask what type of gun storage they use. If they use a locked gun safe with a combination lock, then I would consider a playdate. If they don't seem to know what I'm talking about -- or they keep their gun "high and out of reach," then no way. Kids can climb and reach things that parents are clueless about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nanny here. I've asked MB/DB what issues they want asked when one of my charges goes on a playdate, and they were completely clueless. So, I go with my list:

Do you own any weapons? You do, very nice, can I ask what you have? Oh, you have a couple knives and a bow and a gun, how do you store those? Oh, you only lock up the gun, nope, I'm sorry, Larlo can't go over to your house, but we'd love to have you come to ours or meet us at the park!

Do you have a pool, trampoline or other hazard? You have a tramp, what fun! Is it accessible to the kids when you aren't supervising? It's not, wonderful! Larla would love to spend time at your house!

Do you have pets? You have a yard full of dogs and zillions of cats? (Mental thought: where are the kids supposed to have room to play?!) Oh, they're all confined away from children during a play date. While that's not necessary as long as the animals aren't violent, given how many you have, I appreciate it.

Btw, those are actual playdate invites and the jist of the conversation. In the case of the dad with the weapons, he stored the gun correctly, but didn't even consider storing the knives anywhere other than a drawer, and the bow case was never locked.

Wait, so what about kitchen knives? Scissors? Power tools? Medicine? Do you seriously ask about every single thing a kid could conceivably use to hurt himself? Are your charges mentally impaired or suicidal? I'm not sure why you're terrified of normal, everyday objects. As for the bow and arrow ... have you ever tried to pull back a strung bow? It's not easy. I'm not saying it should be left out, but I am saying you sound paranoid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't own guns. We are anti gun. We do not want our kids playing at people's houses when there are guns in the house. They can play outside, go places, play at our place - all is well.

Yes, we do ask. Anyone who says yes is a very clear no to having our kids over there. Anyone who reacts funny or expresses their dislike about the question I am generally not comfortable around afterwards (doesn't feel authentic and honest to me) so we keep our distance. Happens VERY rarely though. There are way too many accidents to risk this. It's NOT worth it.

And this is exactly why we lie when asked.

I'm not a gun owner and lean hard left but that PP is a total nut and I fully support that you lie.

An irresponsible gun owner isn't going to tell you they leave an unlocked, loaded handgun laying around. WTF does asking the question even accomplish other than pissing off the responsible ones?

While you're at it- why don't you ask what prescription medication they're taking just in case my kid wants to steal some of your pills too.

The lie is ridiculous. If you are so pro-gun, why do you want your kid to hang out with anti-gun families anyways.

Because unlike many so-called liberals, I don't impose political litmus tests on people when deciding whether we can be friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't own guns. We are anti gun. We do not want our kids playing at people's houses when there are guns in the house. They can play outside, go places, play at our place - all is well.

Yes, we do ask. Anyone who says yes is a very clear no to having our kids over there. Anyone who reacts funny or expresses their dislike about the question I am generally not comfortable around afterwards (doesn't feel authentic and honest to me) so we keep our distance. Happens VERY rarely though. There are way too many accidents to risk this. It's NOT worth it.

And this is exactly why we lie when asked.

I'm not a gun owner and lean hard left but that PP is a total nut and I fully support that you lie.

An irresponsible gun owner isn't going to tell you they leave an unlocked, loaded handgun laying around. WTF does asking the question even accomplish other than pissing off the responsible ones?

While you're at it- why don't you ask what prescription medication they're taking just in case my kid wants to steal some of your pills too.

+1

The lie is ridiculous. If you are so pro-gun, why do you want your kid to hang out with anti-gun families anyways.

Because unlike many so-called liberals, I don't impose political litmus tests on people when deciding whether we can be friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't own guns. We are anti gun. We do not want our kids playing at people's houses when there are guns in the house. They can play outside, go places, play at our place - all is well.

Yes, we do ask. Anyone who says yes is a very clear no to having our kids over there. Anyone who reacts funny or expresses their dislike about the question I am generally not comfortable around afterwards (doesn't feel authentic and honest to me) so we keep our distance. Happens VERY rarely though. There are way too many accidents to risk this. It's NOT worth it.

And this is exactly why we lie when asked.

I'm not a gun owner and lean hard left but that PP is a total nut and I fully support that you lie.

An irresponsible gun owner isn't going to tell you they leave an unlocked, loaded handgun laying around. WTF does asking the question even accomplish other than pissing off the responsible ones?

While you're at it- why don't you ask what prescription medication they're taking just in case my kid wants to steal some of your pills too.

The lie is ridiculous. If you are so pro-gun, why do you want your kid to hang out with anti-gun families anyways.

Because unlike many so-called liberals, I don't impose political litmus tests on people when deciding whether we can be friends.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would a parent NOT just lie about having guns in the home if they get the sense that the asker would terminate the playdate if they said yes?

wow. That would be a really awful human being. If you are a parent and a gun owner, it is within your right to take on whatever risks may be associated for yourself and your child. Btu you don't get to put my kid in harm's way without me even knowing about it, when I've specifically asked you about that very issue!! That people - other parents - would do this is just really shocking.

You are a really awful human being for thinking you have a right to know what's in my house. MYOFB. And no, you don't have a right to know what valuable or personal properties are in my house just because you or your kid are in my house. MYOFB.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please ask. We have guns and I will gladly tell you how they are stored and what safety measures we follow. I will also tell you how the knives are kept out of reach and how the basement workshop with power tools is locked up when I'm. Not in it.

You are a moron. You are begging for someone to break in and steal your guns, or more likely, for some liberal asshole to SWAT you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Please ask. We have guns and I will gladly tell you how they are stored and what safety measures we follow. I will also tell you how the knives are kept out of reach and how the basement workshop with power tools is locked up when I'm. Not in it.

You are a moron. You are begging for someone to break in and steal your guns, or more likely, for some liberal asshole to SWAT you.

Not the same PP, but do you seriously think a parent who asks about guns in reference to a play date is going to come back and break in and try to steal my guns? That seems like an appalingly bad idea, particularly if said person is against guns in the first place. Even less likely is the second scenario. I'd expect even "liberal assholes" (WTF??) are smart enough not to SWAT someone after asking about whether or not they possess a firearm--unless, of course, they want to be sued and/or fancy the idea of prison, I suppose.

[Anonymous]

OP - I think that rather than asking a parent whether they have guns or knives at home, that it is much more important to teach a child what to do in the case of a child of any age even starting to talk about getting out or looking at a weapon in the home - guns or knives - or possibly taking something in hand that might be construed as a weapon such as a baseball bat.

For a very young child, I am not quite sure what to advise and would be quite interested in what parents would say.

For a child of say 10+ when in my opinion with another boy this is more likely to happen, then I think I would say to get up and out of the house physically first of all. If the parent is there, then on the way out to ask them to call your folks as you are not allowed to be in presence of a weapon. If your child has a cell phone then again to first of all physically get out of the house/apartment and call your folks to come get you or another responsible adult.

In middle school, after school is when there is also much more likely to be times of "no supervision," so perhaps to have a rule that one in MS can't go to another child's home is another rule to consider unless you really can verify there are no weapons around. I know it is a pain to think that one might need supervision all the way along, but nowadays that is life or at least then to say to your child you come to our home - with the rules you have and no other kids there unless there is a responsible adult. Let's face in in MS today, there is also the aspect of experimentation with everything from drinking to sex to exploring the medicine cabinet that the only way to avoid is to have a zero tolerance for being in anyone's home without adult supervision.

[Anonymous]

http://www.cnn.com/2015/10/19/us/chicago-boy-accidentally-shoots-brother/index.html

It was for defense. And it was out of reach. Yet another gun owner becomes a statistic - proving that people who have guns in their home are more likely to die as a result of a gunshot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't own guns. We are anti gun. We do not want our kids playing at people's houses when there are guns in the house. They can play outside, go places, play at our place - all is well.

Yes, we do ask. Anyone who says yes is a very clear no to having our kids over there. Anyone who reacts funny or expresses their dislike about the question I am generally not comfortable around afterwards (doesn't feel authentic and honest to me) so we keep our distance. Happens VERY rarely though. There are way too many accidents to risk this. It's NOT worth it.

And this is exactly why we lie when asked.

I'm not a gun owner and lean hard left but that PP is a total nut and I fully support that you lie.

An irresponsible gun owner isn't going to tell you they leave an unlocked, loaded handgun laying around. WTF does asking the question even accomplish other than pissing off the responsible ones?

While you're at it- why don't you ask what prescription medication they're taking just in case my kid wants to steal some of your pills too.

The lie is ridiculous. If you are so pro-gun, why do you want your kid to hang out with anti-gun families anyways.

Because unlike many so-called liberals, I don't impose political litmus tests on people when deciding whether we can be friends.

"We" being friends is very different from my kid going to play at your house, and me wishing to know if your house is safe for my kid. I have a right to know if your guns are locked or just stuffed on top of the fridge. Don't want to answer? Just tell me "never mind," and the conversation will be finished. Move on.

Are you lying about your guns to try to gain friends? It seems like it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:http://www.cnn.com/2015/10/19/us/chicago-boy-accidentally-shoots-brother/index.html

It was for defense. And it was out of reach. Yet another gun owner becomes a statistic - proving that people who have guns in their home are more likely to die as a result of a gunshot.

It was purchased off the street by an ex-gang member (dad) and stored loaded on the top of the refridgerator. The dad apparently thought it was no big deal to show his six year old where it was kept. This is undeniably a horrific incident, but the father made several unbelievably stupid decisions that most certainly led to this happening--starting with joining a gang. I'm going to venture to say that most people on this board would never let their kids step foot in the neighborhood where this family lived, nevermind attend a play date at someone's house. I don't think this is in line with what's being discussed in this thread, although since Chicago is a "gun-free zone" (LOLLLL), parents really shouldn't be worried about their kids attending play dates in homes where firearms may be present, right?