The "guns in the house" question for playdates

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Please ask. We have guns and I will gladly tell you how they are stored and what safety measures we follow. I will also tell you how the knives are kept out of reach and how the basement workshop with power tools is locked up when I'm. Not in it.

+1

Same here. I've been asked 3 or 4 times and everyone really appreciated me being honest and open about the safety measures we employ and my willingness to explain our seriousness about firearm safety. If the parent were still uncomfortable with their child playing over at our home despite this, I would gladly offer to host a play date at a nearby park (weather permitting), children's museum, etc.

I would not allow my children to attend a playdate in someone's home if the parent refused to answer questions re: whether they have a firearm in the home or appeared unconcerned or uneducated about firearm safety, FWIW.

[Anonymous]

I actually usually just tell parents that we have no guns, but we do have pets (in case there is an allergy or extreme fear).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We don't own guns. We are anti gun. We do not want our kids playing at people's houses when there are guns in the house. They can play outside, go places, play at our place - all is well.

Yes, we do ask. Anyone who says yes is a very clear no to having our kids over there. Anyone who reacts funny or expresses their dislike about the question I am generally not comfortable around afterwards (doesn't feel authentic and honest to me) so we keep our distance. Happens VERY rarely though. There are way too many accidents to risk this. It's NOT worth it.

And this is exactly why we lie when asked.

[Anonymous]

My husband owns a hunting rifle but since he can't hunt here, we have no shells (bullets? Not sure what you call them) and the kids don't know about it. It's in a big storage trunk in the unfinished part of the basement with all the hunting clothes, etc.
no one has ever asked me, and we have 4 kids and constant playdates. We are the neighborhood hang out house.
Should I be disclosing this? Maybe i should just get rid of it. I don't think it has been used since 1990.

[Anonymous]

Do people in DC proper ask this question? I've never been asked and never thought to ask. My assumption is that none of us are allowed to own guns or don't seem like the type to go through the process to get a DC permit.

Is that wrong? Are there a lot of gun owners in DC?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't own guns. We are anti gun. We do not want our kids playing at people's houses when there are guns in the house. They can play outside, go places, play at our place - all is well.

Yes, we do ask. Anyone who says yes is a very clear no to having our kids over there. Anyone who reacts funny or expresses their dislike about the question I am generally not comfortable around afterwards (doesn't feel authentic and honest to me) so we keep our distance. Happens VERY rarely though. There are way too many accidents to risk this. It's NOT worth it.

And this is exactly why we lie when asked.

I'm not a gun owner and lean hard left but that PP is a total nut and I fully support that you lie.

An irresponsible gun owner isn't going to tell you they leave an unlocked, loaded handgun laying around. WTF does asking the question even accomplish other than pissing off the responsible ones?

While you're at it- why don't you ask what prescription medication they're taking just in case my kid wants to steal some of your pills too.

[Anonymous]

Hope you all are asking about treadmills as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have never been asked and never asked. We have guns in the home and have educated our children about them, although as we all know there's no such thing as a "gun proof" child.

I have also never been asked about a pool, which we also have, which is much more likely to cause harm to their children. Nor have we been asked about the trampoline, pogo stick, stilts, skates, skate board, bikes, helmet rules...

I have been asked about allergens and dogs (for a child with a fear of, not an allergy of)

This is the exact kind of asinine responsibility deflecting comment that "anti gun" zealots use to justify their zealotry, PP.

"No such thing as a gun proof child" = YOU as the parent and gun owner being unwilling to be 100% responsible for safe keeping of your weapons and keeping them away from the kids at all costs.

YOU are the problem, you irresponsible fool.

+1.

[Anonymous]

DS is 10.5 years old. He has playdates with kids of families we know pretty well so I have a sense of what the family rules/values are. If he makes a new friend and wants to have a playdate, I ask some basic question about pets in the house, guns or other weapons, etc. I don't go through a list of everything because that is just stupid. In life there are a lot of risks and you can't mitigate against all of them. A house is bound to have kitchen knives, power tools, prescription drugs, and many other things. But the difference here is that many young boys are interested in guns and weapons. My son included even though we do not own any kind of gun or weapon. We have talked a lot about guns and how they are very dangerous and he knows that. Plus he is a level headed kid. But he is still a kid and he absolutely loves nerf guns and maybe he could be convinced to look at a real gun "just this once" or touch it by another kid. Because they are kids and they don't always make the best decisions in the moment. So that is why I ask because I try to at least mitigate the risks as much as is in my control and what I would consider to be a real safety issue. Could a kid fall off a trampoline? Sure. But that isn't the same as being accidentally shot. That there are people who would blatantly lie to a parent who asks that is beyond words but of course there are awful people in the world and the only way to mitigate that is to try to use good judgment and intuition about things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We don't own guns. We are anti gun. We do not want our kids playing at people's houses when there are guns in the house. They can play outside, go places, play at our place - all is well.

Yes, we do ask. Anyone who says yes is a very clear no to having our kids over there. Anyone who reacts funny or expresses their dislike about the question I am generally not comfortable around afterwards (doesn't feel authentic and honest to me) so we keep our distance. Happens VERY rarely though. There are way too many accidents to risk this. It's NOT worth it.

And this is exactly why we lie when asked.

I'm not a gun owner and lean hard left but that PP is a total nut and I fully support that you lie.

An irresponsible gun owner isn't going to tell you they leave an unlocked, loaded handgun laying around. WTF does asking the question even accomplish other than pissing off the responsible ones?

While you're at it- why don't you ask what prescription medication they're taking just in case my kid wants to steal some of your pills too.

The lie is ridiculous. If you are so pro-gun, why do you want your kid to hang out with anti-gun families anyways.

[Anonymous]

I'm the PP- I'm not pro-gun. I don't own a gun. But many of my friends do, primarily hunters. Here's why I don't ask and why asking offers not increased security-

AN IRRESPONSIBLE GUN OWNER WILL NOT TELL YOU THEY ARE IRRESPONSIBLE

Why do you need to make an issue of one potential danger but not others? Here's why- because you're making a political statement. Be honest with yourself, your friends, and this forum. You ask the question because you're being a political asshole and not because of your kids' safety. If it was all about your kids' safety, then you'd ask about how they lock up their prescriptions, where they keep their alcohol, whether or not they use illegal drugs, if they've ever been arrested/convicted of a violent crime, etc.

Here's another question that will get an equally futile answer-

ARE YOU A PEDOPHILE?

Do you think you'll get an honest answer? Of course not. So all you'll do is piss off the non-pedos without limiting the danger to your kid.

Stop being a political asshole to your kids' friends. That's all I'm saying.

And NO- I don't own a gun.

[Anonymous]

I ask about guns for every new pkaydate.

Just curious, did you tell the family that their son took out the unloaded gun?

[Anonymous]

Pp again - I also ask about pools and how the pool is gated.

[Anonymous]

I ask about pools and trampolines as well. My kids are young enough that any pool playdates have always had parents sticking around, which I prefer at their ages. As long as the pool is either fully fenced when not in use or covered in Fall/Winter, I'm fine with it. I worked in insurance for 10 years and would not allow my kids to go on a trampoline at someone's house, regardless of whatever safety measures are supposedly in place.

[Anonymous]

I have never asked and have never been asked.

We haven't started drop off playdates yet, and I'm dreading the day I have to have this conversation.