40+ men who married 20-28 women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a 40yr old woman with a sex drive of a 17yrs old teen boy, I would be so unhappy being married to a man in his 50s with a soft dick in need of Viagra. I think that would call for a 35yr old side piece.

35 year old side piece? More like 25 year old, for me at least...

You know, 25 doesn't do much for me. If I were married to an old geezer, I think between 30-38 would be perfect. No higher, for risk of starting to run into the dick issue again.

Ohhhh and he MUST have a quick refractory ability. That is key and what no man in his 50s will ever see again.

[Anonymous]

Maybe it's mean but I tend to really look down on women in their 20s who have to marry men in their mid30s or 40s (let alone above that). I generally think men that age are pretty desperate for young female attention. Roping one in is about as easy as catching a sloth. On the other hand I really respect women, regardless of age, who manage to catch the young, hot, and intelligent guys. Those are the trophies, in my book.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have friend who was 25 and married 37 year old. Now she's 37 and he's 49 and we always remark how old he looks. 40s are tough genetically on men.

Heh. You so badly want to turn the tables on men. It just kills you that older men generally fair better in dating than older women.

Aging sucks for everyone. One day, it will humble you too.

Honey, try being honest, for a change. Women will always have an easier time with dating. That's just how it is.

And men DO age worse. That's they die earlier, hello!!!

Depends on your definition of "dating." Women have an easier getting sex, not necessarily meaning long-term relationships. Men arguably have the upper-hand here, even when they are young.

Sure, some young turk might be down for a drunken fling with an older cougar, but you don't see a whole lot of 25 year old men settling down with 42 year old women. Not saying there's anything wrong with it. It's just less common than the other way around.

You dont see a lot of 25 year old women settling down with 42 year old men either. They're an anomaly- certainly not the norm. But they do exist, just as the reverse does.


And not in my experience. My guy friends are much more interested in finding a girl and settling down. My girlfriends are wayyyyy pickier. They generally have lots of guys around willing to date them but they're not interested.

Nice try. Older man/younger woman combinations are common. Not the norm, but certainly more common than the reverse.

What else would a guy say to you? That he has no interest in relationships and just wants to f*** women and move on? You seem unaware of when people are humoring you.

What's a nice try is trying to act like there are 20 something women lined up to date older men. Maybe in your fantasies... but not the real world! LOL.

Every million brings your target female age down by 3 years

[Anonymous]

Women can be lured in with money

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wasn't 40, and she wasn't in her 20's, but when I was in my early 30's, I was spending a fair amount of time at the UMD library. (I was finishing up a PhD at a different school). I briefly dated a girl/young woman. We never talked about age -- she was a student and I was a student (who was also working full time making decent money); she was studying to be in the same field I was in.

We "dated" for about a month. It ended when I met her parents and realized they we only a few years older than me.

I am confused by your post. You were in your early 30s, dating a teenager?

And her parents were only a few years older than you?

If the first statement is true, I guess that explains why her parents were so young.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My father is 55 and dating a 32 year old. I'm 35 ?

It's different when you're talking about near-teen-parenting cases.

I once had the incredible hots for a 35 yo mom (crazy tho) who I knew through her 18 yo daughter (who I also had the hots for). They were both still prime.

[Anonymous]

So, this may creep you out a bit, but here's my age-disparate tale:

- first wife was 22 years older than me - I was in my 20s, she in her (well-preserved) 40s. It was a kind of cougar thing. The well-preserved vanished almost immediately, and while our interests and phase of life overlapped just enough while dating, they pretty quickly diverged. Finally - and I didn't get this until I grew up and matured a bit - there is very frequently something emotionally broken or immature about someone who chooses a partner with that much less experience; they don't want a real peer who might have the knowledge to call them out on their shit. We were committed to being committed (and this is a dumb ass reason to be married, BTW) - ie, just staying married so we didn't have to say we were divorced, and it lasted nearly a decade before I wasn't willing to throw my life away for the sake of a "promise".

- following divorce, a few dating-around relationships and an LTR (>5years) with a woman my own age. She was a never-married, which was...not great at 40, because there is a reason - always there is a reason - anyone who wants to be partnered and remains unpartnered that long. She had ginormous fear of commitment and basically sabotaged the relationship. Point being: choosing someone your own age is no guarantee of choosing someone without issues.

- finally, met DW, who is 11 years my junior - so it's not quite 40s marrying 20s. It was mid-40s marrying early 30s. I think that's crucial: we were both in much more mature phases of our lives and had a better sense of our own selves, what we wanted out of life and out of a partner, and what we were responsible for providing for ourselves. I don't mean "providing" in a monetary sense either. DW was unmarried and had nothing like the kind of relationship experience or history I have, and that made me nervous, but the truth is that after the previous two relationships, I decided I needed to get right in my relationship with myself - which is where the bit about what we were responsible for providing for ourselves comes from. We are on an incredible roll, have a new baby and are still very much in love and happy.

I would caution you that you spend a long time thinking about why it is you think you want to marry someone so much older - what you expect that gets you. The truth is that age is less relevant than having the right expectations, finding the right partner and being in a healthy relationship with yourself (and your partner having a healthy relationship with themselves as well). I think big age disparities are a red flag, particularly about the older partner. Yes, it's a lot of fun to bang a hot 20-something (did that too in between LTRs, was a lot of fun.), and a big ego boost when you're a middle-aged schlub like me, but sex is only one part of the relationship, and someone who is either limited to that facet or incapable of dealing with a peer likely is kind of fucked up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's mean but I tend to really look down on women in their 20s who have to marry men in their mid30s or 40s (let alone above that). I generally think men that age are pretty desperate for young female attention. Roping one in is about as easy as catching a sloth. On the other hand I really respect women, regardless of age, who manage to catch the young, hot, and intelligent guys. Those are the trophies, in my book.

Your book sounds quite judgmental and nasty. No desire no read it.

Whatever your age, go get a life.

[Anonymous]

My SIL was 25 when she married her 45 year old husband. They are going through a divorce now after an almost 20 year marriage. He was a millionaire when they met but he blew a lot of his money on stupid investments and then his parents cut off the money train. BIL has definitely aged poorly but I believe that is mostly because he drinks and smokes a lot. He's in his 60s and just looks so very old to me and he has serious back issues too. I think his aging issues did contribute to their divorce, as he's gotten older he's really turned into a stereotypical grumpy older man in both looks and behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's mean but I tend to really look down on women in their 20s who have to marry men in their mid30s or 40s (let alone above that). I generally think men that age are pretty desperate for young female attention. Roping one in is about as easy as catching a sloth. On the other hand I really respect women, regardless of age, who manage to catch the young, hot, and intelligent guys. Those are the trophies, in my book.

Your book sounds quite judgmental and nasty. No desire no read it.

Whatever your age, go get a life.

+1

You "really look down" on a woman, who in her 20s, marries a 30-something man? Give me a break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My aunt was 25 when she married her 40 yo husband. They had 3 kids. She's now 55, he's 70. The difference is stark. She's full of pep and he's really slowed down. She doesn't have to take care of him, at least not yet. She knows that she will likely have a great many years alone, and feels sad about it often.

This is why I refused to date someone significantly older than me. My husband is 3 years older than me, and I like the fact that we're aging at roughly the same pace.

And yet you could find out tomorrow that you have MS or Parkinsons or leukemia and then it wouldn't matter how similarly you were aging. Any spouse can get sick at any time. It is the price we ALL pay when we commit to someone else. To care for them in sickness, no matter how old or how long.

*sigh*

Yes, obviously this is a risk we all take, and should it happen, I will embrace the life we can have together. But there's a difference between accepting it as a risk and deciding to sign up for it as a near-certainty.

New poster, +1, it's not rational to talk about risk in these cases of 15-20 year age differences. It's almost guaranteed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe it's mean but I tend to really look down on women in their 20s who have to marry men in their mid30s or 40s (let alone above that). I generally think men that age are pretty desperate for young female attention. Roping one in is about as easy as catching a sloth. On the other hand I really respect women, regardless of age, who manage to catch the young, hot, and intelligent guys. Those are the trophies, in my book.

Women in their 20s don't "have" to marry older men. They choose that. From my experience they choose wealthy guys and want an easy life. I know one 24yr old in particular engaged to an extremely wealthy 46yr old who recently dumped his family for her. He makes a 7 figure income and he had his pick of young women, she did not "have" to settle. There were plenty of young women chasing him, she is stunningly beautiful and could have easily hooked up with a guy her age who is on a good career path, but maybe she did not want to see herself dumped down the line at 44 by him for someone young.

It's not for me. I married a man my age and I like to think we have a strong and happy marriage. However, I'm going to bend reality in my mind to fit my own desire to somehow believe that any sort of desperation is involved on either of their parts. It is a transaction where each person gets when they want out of the relationship. She gets money and comfort and her gets the hot girl on his arm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have friend who was 25 and married 37 year old. Now she's 37 and he's 49 and we always remark how old he looks. 40s are tough genetically on men.

x2. Things seem to hold up until 40 and then it's downhill fast...

Well, in that case, at age 37, she's right behind him.

Genetics are kinder to some than others.

Women actually age slower than men, in general. They use face creams, stay out of the sun, worry about aging- all that good stuff that tends to keep one looking good. Not to mention women have lower rates of obesity than men, which also keeps a person looking younger.

What are you smoking? Women age significantly faster than men. It is typically day and night when comparing a woman from late 20s to mid 30s. If they were not already fat by their 20s they gain weight and wrinkle by mid thirties. I do not see the same with men typically. Marriage in general causes both sexes to gain weight because they give up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So, this may creep you out a bit, but here's my age-disparate tale:

- first wife was 22 years older than me - I was in my 20s, she in her (well-preserved) 40s. It was a kind of cougar thing. The well-preserved vanished almost immediately, and while our interests and phase of life overlapped just enough while dating, they pretty quickly diverged. Finally - and I didn't get this until I grew up and matured a bit - there is very frequently something emotionally broken or immature about someone who chooses a partner with that much less experience; they don't want a real peer who might have the knowledge to call them out on their shit. We were committed to being committed (and this is a dumb ass reason to be married, BTW) - ie, just staying married so we didn't have to say we were divorced, and it lasted nearly a decade before I wasn't willing to throw my life away for the sake of a "promise".

- following divorce, a few dating-around relationships and an LTR (>5years) with a woman my own age. She was a never-married, which was...not great at 40, because there is a reason - always there is a reason - anyone who wants to be partnered and remains unpartnered that long. She had ginormous fear of commitment and basically sabotaged the relationship. Point being: choosing someone your own age is no guarantee of choosing someone without issues.

- finally, met DW, who is 11 years my junior - so it's not quite 40s marrying 20s. It was mid-40s marrying early 30s. I think that's crucial: we were both in much more mature phases of our lives and had a better sense of our own selves, what we wanted out of life and out of a partner, and what we were responsible for providing for ourselves. I don't mean "providing" in a monetary sense either. DW was unmarried and had nothing like the kind of relationship experience or history I have, and that made me nervous, but the truth is that after the previous two relationships, I decided I needed to get right in my relationship with myself - which is where the bit about what we were responsible for providing for ourselves comes from. We are on an incredible roll, have a new baby and are still very much in love and happy.

I would caution you that you spend a long time thinking about why it is you think you want to marry someone so much older - what you expect that gets you. The truth is that age is less relevant than having the right expectations, finding the right partner and being in a healthy relationship with yourself (and your partner having a healthy relationship with themselves as well). I think big age disparities are a red flag, particularly about the older partner. Yes, it's a lot of fun to bang a hot 20-something (did that too in between LTRs, was a lot of fun.), and a big ego boost when you're a middle-aged schlub like me, but sex is only one part of the relationship, and someone who is either limited to that facet or incapable of dealing with a peer likely is kind of fucked up.

I didn't know Ashton Kutcher posted on DCUM, cool, we should tell Jeff.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't know Ashton Kutcher posted on DCUM, cool, we should tell Jeff.

I'm the poster you are replying to, and I am Demi's age, not Kutchner's...and I'd be all over her in a heartbeat.