40+ men who married 20-28 women?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have friend who was 25 and married 37 year old. Now she's 37 and he's 49 and we always remark how old he looks. 40s are tough genetically on men.

x2. Things seem to hold up until 40 and then it's downhill fast...

Well, in that case, at age 37, she's right behind him.

Genetics are kinder to some than others.

Women actually age slower than men, in general. They use face creams, stay out of the sun, worry about aging- all that good stuff that tends to keep one looking good. Not to mention women have lower rates of obesity than men, which also keeps a person looking younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My aunt was 25 when she married her 40 yo husband. They had 3 kids. She's now 55, he's 70. The difference is stark. She's full of pep and he's really slowed down. She doesn't have to take care of him, at least not yet. She knows that she will likely have a great many years alone, and feels sad about it often.

This is why I refused to date someone significantly older than me. My husband is 3 years older than me, and I like the fact that we're aging at roughly the same pace.

And yet you could find out tomorrow that you have MS or Parkinsons or leukemia and then it wouldn't matter how similarly you were aging. Any spouse can get sick at any time. It is the price we ALL pay when we commit to someone else. To care for them in sickness, no matter how old or how long.

*sigh*

Yes, obviously this is a risk we all take, and should it happen, I will embrace the life we can have together. But there's a difference between accepting it as a risk and deciding to sign up for it as a near-certainty.

The only thing certain in life is death. I come from a family where the men are vigorous well into their 80s and with a few exceptions from cancer or complications from earlier trauma all live well into their 90s. I could live to be 95 and she could die in a car accident tomorrow. There's a history of breast cancer in her family. Should I have passed on the chance to be with her because of that? Should I have taken the high road and not dated and then married my much younger wife to spare her the pain of being alone after I die? Or should we both have rejoiced that we found each other and continue to enjoy each day we have left together?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My aunt was 25 when she married her 40 yo husband. They had 3 kids. She's now 55, he's 70. The difference is stark. She's full of pep and he's really slowed down. She doesn't have to take care of him, at least not yet. She knows that she will likely have a great many years alone, and feels sad about it often.

This is why I refused to date someone significantly older than me. My husband is 3 years older than me, and I like the fact that we're aging at roughly the same pace.

And yet you could find out tomorrow that you have MS or Parkinsons or leukemia and then it wouldn't matter how similarly you were aging. Any spouse can get sick at any time. It is the price we ALL pay when we commit to someone else. To care for them in sickness, no matter how old or how long.

*sigh*

Yes, obviously this is a risk we all take, and should it happen, I will embrace the life we can have together. But there's a difference between accepting it as a risk and deciding to sign up for it as a near-certainty.

Exactly. Some seem to be missing the very obvious...

[Anonymous]

The very obvious being that there are no guarantees in life about anyone's health?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dad married his third wife when he was 43 and she was 26. It worked out about as well as his first two marriages. I found it profoundly creepy at the time. I was 19 and he seemed incredibly old for her.

I once broke up with a serious boyfriend because he told me his dad was dating a 19 year old. I was 23 at the time, my BF was 2 years younger, and he basically told me that when i met him he was definitely going to hit on me. When I was like, "What the fuck?" he was like, "his current GF is 19- that's what he goes for".

I was so repulsed and grossed out by this prospect that it sent me into a spiral of doubt about our whole relationship. It ended up being a kind of "relationship tipping point" and a few weeks later I ended things.

I could just never get over the idea that his main male figure was living this nasty, creepy lifestyle. I STILL look back and just think it was weird as hell....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The very obvious being that there are no guarantees in life about anyone's health?

That older people have a higher risk of health issues/ death.

Keep up.

[Anonymous]

I'm a year older than my husband.

[Anonymous]

Statistics and actuarial tables are great for predicting death and disease rates for large groups of people but are meaningless for individuals.

We can throw out statistics all day but if someone is alone or miserable in a marriage to someone who is close to them in age but another couple with an age gap is happy those statistics are even more meaningless.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Statistics and actuarial tables are great for predicting death and disease rates for large groups of people but are meaningless for individuals.

We can throw out statistics all day but if someone is alone or miserable in a marriage to someone who is close to them in age but another couple with an age gap is happy those statistics are even more meaningless.

You sound upset that people are pointing out that you will probably be a burden and die earlier than your wife.

Sorry, grandpa, that's how it works! Now kindly stop squatting on this thread!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have friend who was 25 and married 37 year old. Now she's 37 and he's 49 and we always remark how old he looks. 40s are tough genetically on men.

That doesn't actually make any sense.

The truth doesn't make much sense to the women here.

[Anonymous]

There's a big difference between dating an older man who is in shape and one who has let himself go.

Also, if a man is in good shape at 40+, it's unlikely that he's going to suddenly transform into Chris Farley by 50. On the other hand, a lot of men (and women) who are fit in their 20s look like completely different people by the time they are in their mid 30s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have friend who was 25 and married 37 year old. Now she's 37 and he's 49 and we always remark how old he looks. 40s are tough genetically on men.

Heh. You so badly want to turn the tables on men. It just kills you that older men generally fair better in dating than older women.

Aging sucks for everyone. One day, it will humble you too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have friend who was 25 and married 37 year old. Now she's 37 and he's 49 and we always remark how old he looks. 40s are tough genetically on men.

Heh. You so badly want to turn the tables on men. It just kills you that older men generally fair better in dating than older women.

Aging sucks for everyone. One day, it will humble you too.

Honey, try being honest, for a change. Women will always have an easier time with dating. That's just how it is.

And men DO age worse. That's they die earlier, hello!!!

[Anonymous]

These younger women/older man pairings work because 1) the woman has some kind of daddy issue and/or 2) they want economic security.

The younger chicks always have a back up plan, which is divorce the geezer and take half his loot, or just cheat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:These younger women/older man pairings work because 1) the woman has some kind of daddy issue and/or 2) they want economic security.

The younger chicks always have a back up plan, which is divorce the geezer and take half his loot, or just cheat.

I think a lot of the women THINK they can do it. The idea of being debt free, economic security, not having to worry about finances- it seems like it's worth it.

And then they have to sleep underneath a flabby-skinned 50 year old day in day out.

And the smooth skinned, ripped but broke pool boy gains a new appreciation.

And, I don't blame them. Sex with a guy in his early 20s is hot, on a purely aesthetic value.