Saw friend's husband out with another woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has happened to me multiple times.

What I do, is the next time I see the wife (and sometime in front of the husband) I say.

"Oh, I saw George at Hunan Palace in Fairfax, I love that place do you guys go there often?"

Then I let them deal with it.

Twice it was an affair. One divorced the other didn't.

If I hear about an affair I don't say anything, If you are stupid enough for me to see it... I say something.

Serious question: How do you sleep at night?

Why would you marry the type of guy who is sloppy with his affairs and embarrasses you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has happened to me multiple times.

What I do, is the next time I see the wife (and sometime in front of the husband) I say.

"Oh, I saw George at Hunan Palace in Fairfax, I love that place do you guys go there often?"

Then I let them deal with it.

Twice it was an affair. One divorced the other didn't.

If I hear about an affair I don't say anything, If you are stupid enough for me to see it... I say something.

Serious question: How do you sleep at night?

Serious question: How do you spread STDs and sleep at night.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You know it's lunchtime when I browse this thread and my overriding response is, "Chinese sounds good for lunch."

I had Chinese!

[Anonymous]

My dad goes out to eat with other woman all the time he also goes hiking ect. My parents are happily married and he isn't cheating. He just has a lot of friends

[Anonymous]

I had a friend, more of an acquaintance, who said to me he saw my DW out with a man at a happy hour. She was out with a childhood friend. I was beyond annoyed this busybody with nothing else to do would be gossiping and assuming the worst about my family. My DW and I laughed about it later, but rest assured, we keep this D-bag at arm's length.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has happened to me multiple times.

What I do, is the next time I see the wife (and sometime in front of the husband) I say.

"Oh, I saw George at Hunan Palace in Fairfax, I love that place do you guys go there often?"

Then I let them deal with it.

Twice it was an affair. One divorced the other didn't.

If I hear about an affair I don't say anything, If you are stupid enough for me to see it... I say something.

Nice shit stirring.

If you don't want your shit stirred... don't shit in my presence.

Also... stop passing STDs to everybody.

Um, first of all, you're crazy.
Second of all, you don't own the metro DC area, so what someone does in a public restaurant on their own time is seriously none of your business. If you came up to me and told me you'd seen my husband at Szechuan Palace as if you were divulging some very catastrophic information, I would say "Yes, he took a colleague who was in town for work and staying out that way there for dinner" and then stare your nosy ass down daring you to say more.

OP here. I don't plan on saying anything. Maybe it was his sister, cousin, old friend from college....

My old college's roommate was fucking my other friend's roommate. My friend told me that my friend's bf was over her apt. I told my roommate and the bf went crazy on me. Instead of breaking up with him, she said that it would be best if we stopped being friends. The douche continued fucking my other friend's roommate among other girls. My old roommate and I eventually made up but our friendship has never been the same.

You sound CRAZY!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has happened to me multiple times.

What I do, is the next time I see the wife (and sometime in front of the husband) I say.

"Oh, I saw George at Hunan Palace in Fairfax, I love that place do you guys go there often?"

Then I let them deal with it.

Twice it was an affair. One divorced the other didn't.

If I hear about an affair I don't say anything, If you are stupid enough for me to see it... I say something.

Nice shit stirring.

If you don't want your shit stirred... don't shit in my presence.

Also... stop passing STDs to everybody.

Um, first of all, you're crazy.
Second of all, you don't own the metro DC area, so what someone does in a public restaurant on their own time is seriously none of your business. If you came up to me and told me you'd seen my husband at Szechuan Palace as if you were divulging some very catastrophic information, I would say "Yes, he took a colleague who was in town for work and staying out that way there for dinner" and then stare your nosy ass down daring you to say more.

OP here. I don't plan on saying anything. Maybe it was his sister, cousin, old friend from college....

My old college's roommate was fucking my other friend's roommate. My friend told me that my friend's bf was over her apt. I told my roommate and the bf went crazy on me. Instead of breaking up with him, she said that it would be best if we stopped being friends. The douche continued fucking my other friend's roommate among other girls. My old roommate and I eventually made up but our friendship has never been the same.

You sound CRAZY!

Or bitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How is it shit stirring to mention you saw someone's spouse at a restaurant?

My mom was doubly devastated to learn of my stepdad's affair because after it came out, people mentioned they'd seen stepdad out with the other woman several times.

I would want to know.

+1. If I knew you, even just socially, and you didn't care about me enough to alert me in at least a socially graceful way (like PP above suggested), I would never forgive you and whatever social relationship we had would be dead. If youally yourself with the perpetrator by choosing to be a silent bystander, then your not the kind of person I want in my universe.

Yes, maybe I'm in an open relationship, but alert me discreetly(hey, I saw George at the movies the other night. The new Bond movie sure was great ....) and let me decide what to do from there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is it shit stirring to mention you saw someone's spouse at a restaurant?

My mom was doubly devastated to learn of my stepdad's affair because after it came out, people mentioned they'd seen stepdad out with the other woman several times.

I would want to know.

+1. If I knew you, even just socially, and you didn't care about me enough to alert me in at least a socially graceful way (like PP above suggested), I would never forgive you and whatever social relationship we had would be dead. If youally yourself with the perpetrator by choosing to be a silent bystander, then your not the kind of person I want in my universe.

Yes, maybe I'm in an open relationship, but alert me discreetly(hey, I saw George at the movies the other night. The new Bond movie sure was great ....) and let me decide what to do from there.

sorry .... you ally ... you're

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is it shit stirring to mention you saw someone's spouse at a restaurant?

My mom was doubly devastated to learn of my stepdad's affair because after it came out, people mentioned they'd seen stepdad out with the other woman several times.

I would want to know.

+1. If I knew you, even just socially, and you didn't care about me enough to alert me in at least a socially graceful way (like PP above suggested), I would never forgive you and whatever social relationship we had would be dead. If youally yourself with the perpetrator by choosing to be a silent bystander, then your not the kind of person I want in my universe.

Yes, maybe I'm in an open relationship, but alert me discreetly(hey, I saw George at the movies the other night. The new Bond movie sure was great ....) and let me decide what to do from there.

So saying to yourself "Diane's husband is at this restaurant with a woman but I have no idea if it's his sister, coworker, friend, so I'll just mind my own business" is allying yourself with a cheater? We are talking situations where ANYTHING could be taking place and people are supposed to rush to tell a spouse their spouse was ... Seen with someone of the opposite sex?

I laugh to think how many times my husband has been out to eat with a coworker, and even my sister a handful of times when she was in town, and how people might approach me ready to inflict some damage by telling me this.

[Anonymous]

How about just saying I saw your husband at ....Doesn't have to be specific about who he was with unless the SO ask more details.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has happened to me multiple times.

What I do, is the next time I see the wife (and sometime in front of the husband) I say.

"Oh, I saw George at Hunan Palace in Fairfax, I love that place do you guys go there often?"

Then I let them deal with it.

Twice it was an affair. One divorced the other didn't.

If I hear about an affair I don't say anything, If you are stupid enough for me to see it... I say something.

Nice shit stirring.

If you don't want your shit stirred... don't shit in my presence.

Also... stop passing STDs to everybody.

Um, first of all, you're crazy.
Second of all, you don't own the metro DC area, so what someone does in a public restaurant on their own time is seriously none of your business. If you came up to me and told me you'd seen my husband at Szechuan Palace as if you were divulging some very catastrophic information, I would say "Yes, he took a colleague who was in town for work and staying out that way there for dinner" and then stare your nosy ass down daring you to say more.

OP here. I don't plan on saying anything. Maybe it was his sister, cousin, old friend from college....

My old college's roommate was fucking my other friend's roommate. My friend told me that my friend's bf was over her apt. I told my roommate and the bf went crazy on me. Instead of breaking up with him, she said that it would be best if we stopped being friends. The douche continued fucking my other friend's roommate among other girls. My old roommate and I eventually made up but our friendship has never been the same.

You sound CRAZY!

Or bitter.

You think I'm crazy and bitter because I told one of my closest friends that her boyfriend was screwing my other friend's roommate?

She was part of my bridal party and I was in hers. We are still friends 15 years later.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is it shit stirring to mention you saw someone's spouse at a restaurant?

My mom was doubly devastated to learn of my stepdad's affair because after it came out, people mentioned they'd seen stepdad out with the other woman several times.

I would want to know.

+1. If I knew you, even just socially, and you didn't care about me enough to alert me in at least a socially graceful way (like PP above suggested), I would never forgive you and whatever social relationship we had would be dead. If youally yourself with the perpetrator by choosing to be a silent bystander, then your not the kind of person I want in my universe.

Yes, maybe I'm in an open relationship, but alert me discreetly(hey, I saw George at the movies the other night. The new Bond movie sure was great ....) and let me decide what to do from there.

So saying to yourself "Diane's husband is at this restaurant with a woman but I have no idea if it's his sister, coworker, friend, so I'll just mind my own business" is allying yourself with a cheater? We are talking situations where ANYTHING could be taking place and people are supposed to rush to tell a spouse their spouse was ... Seen with someone of the opposite sex?

I laugh to think how many times my husband has been out to eat with a coworker, and even my sister a handful of times when she was in town, and how people might approach me ready to inflict some damage by telling me this.

OP here. I have no plans on saying anything to the wife. I may or may not see them at open house next week.

Our mutual other friends just invited us over for a bbq. For whatever reason, that family was not invited. Maybe others know something that I don't. I honestly don't care much what happens behind closed doors. I do care about their son. He is probably my child's closest friend at school.

We are relatively new to the area and live a drama free life. I plan to keep it that way. I'm glad I speculated on DCUM instead of with another parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How is it shit stirring to mention you saw someone's spouse at a restaurant?

My mom was doubly devastated to learn of my stepdad's affair because after it came out, people mentioned they'd seen stepdad out with the other woman several times.

I would want to know.

+1. If I knew you, even just socially, and you didn't care about me enough to alert me in at least a socially graceful way (like PP above suggested), I would never forgive you and whatever social relationship we had would be dead. If youally yourself with the perpetrator by choosing to be a silent bystander, then your not the kind of person I want in my universe.

Yes, maybe I'm in an open relationship, but alert me discreetly(hey, I saw George at the movies the other night. The new Bond movie sure was great ....) and let me decide what to do from there.

So saying to yourself "Diane's husband is at this restaurant with a woman but I have no idea if it's his sister, coworker, friend, so I'll just mind my own business" is allying yourself with a cheater? We are talking situations where ANYTHING could be taking place and people are supposed to rush to tell a spouse their spouse was ... Seen with someone of the opposite sex?

I laugh to think how many times my husband has been out to eat with a coworker, and even my sister a handful of times when she was in town, and how people might approach me ready to inflict some damage by telling me this.

I think there's consensus in how to deliver the news.

Don't: rush up and speak conspiratorially in hushed tones while glancing around frantically. That's lame.

Do: mention casually, in passing, that "it was great to see [your spouse] the other night. Let's all have wine together soon!" Normal.

In all probability, you know your spouse was out to dinner, but on the off-chance you didn't and they are cheating, I won't be the cowardly asshole who stood silently by.

[Anonymous]

Well, meh, I don't think it's cowardly. I think it's allowing someone the grace of handling their own life without people causing problems or forcing issues they maybe don't want to confront or deal with.