Saw friend's husband out with another woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has happened to me multiple times.

What I do, is the next time I see the wife (and sometime in front of the husband) I say.

"Oh, I saw George at Hunan Palace in Fairfax, I love that place do you guys go there often?"

Then I let them deal with it.

Twice it was an affair. One divorced the other didn't.

If I hear about an affair I don't say anything, If you are stupid enough for me to see it... I say something.

Nice shit stirring.

If you don't want your shit stirred... don't shit in my presence.

Also... stop passing STDs to everybody.

Um, first of all, you're crazy.
Second of all, you don't own the metro DC area, so what someone does in a public restaurant on their own time is seriously none of your business. If you came up to me and told me you'd seen my husband at Szechuan Palace as if you were divulging some very catastrophic information, I would say "Yes, he took a colleague who was in town for work and staying out that way there for dinner" and then stare your nosy ass down daring you to say more.

Really... I say to friends all the time... hey I saw Joe and the boys at the Nats game, what a beautiful night (and now you are staring me down wondering why I stalk your family... you are psycho!)... why is it weird for me to say... I saw Joe at Szechuan Palace, love that place... that is nosy? No its just a statement of fact.

Do you have friends? You never say... hey saw you at Wolf Trap, did you have fun... we were in a hurry and could not stop to chat.

You are crazy if you don't have these normal conversations with your friends. I am not outing anybody I am just making conversation.

If you are guilty of something own it ... stop blaming others.

You are 100% backtracking and you know it. Your original comment was "If I see George out with someone, I later tell George's wife in front of George and let them deal with it." You are not idly chatting with someone about how they enjoyed the show at Wolf Trap. Talk about owning it... I don't have anything to hide, from my husband or anyone. YOU need to own the fact you admitted you enjoy delivering potentially upsetting information to women, in front of their spouse, so you can have the pleasure of being Hall Monitor for other people's behavior and marriages.

NP. You're so right - best to let women be bamboozled while their husband fucks around.

I believe most women are capable of finding out themselves. Maybe this is a personality trait where I don't enjoy others seeing me in weakness/pain/suffering, but if I get the feeling my husband is cheating, I am perfectly capable of getting to the bottom of it myself. No I do not want some fellow preschool parent taking it upon themselves to tell me. Handling my own shit is more important to me than the fact some busy-body pities me because she thinks she saw my husband having an affair.

It's very difficult to get to the bottom of something you're not supposed to know.

Agree to disagree. Most people aren't James Bond operating covertly and expertly. I have full trust in my husband and don't feel the need to monitor his activity or verify what he tells me. But if my intuition were going off and I felt something was off, I could easily check bank and credit card statements for weird charges, log in to our cell phone account and see who he is calling and texting, how often and when, etc. Now if you've put yourself in the position where you don't HAVE access to vital information like that, that's on you, but for most people, it would be shockingly easy to catch an affair if you thought it was happening and knew what to look for.

You are obviously sensitive about this topic. It sounds like you don't want others knowing/gossiping/feeling sorry for you. No need to take it out on others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has happened to me multiple times.

What I do, is the next time I see the wife (and sometime in front of the husband) I say.

"Oh, I saw George at Hunan Palace in Fairfax, I love that place do you guys go there often?"

Then I let them deal with it.

Twice it was an affair. One divorced the other didn't.

If I hear about an affair I don't say anything, If you are stupid enough for me to see it... I say something.

Nice shit stirring.

If you don't want your shit stirred... don't shit in my presence.

Also... stop passing STDs to everybody.

Um, first of all, you're crazy.
Second of all, you don't own the metro DC area, so what someone does in a public restaurant on their own time is seriously none of your business. If you came up to me and told me you'd seen my husband at Szechuan Palace as if you were divulging some very catastrophic information, I would say "Yes, he took a colleague who was in town for work and staying out that way there for dinner" and then stare your nosy ass down daring you to say more.

Really... I say to friends all the time... hey I saw Joe and the boys at the Nats game, what a beautiful night (and now you are staring me down wondering why I stalk your family... you are psycho!)... why is it weird for me to say... I saw Joe at Szechuan Palace, love that place... that is nosy? No its just a statement of fact.

Do you have friends? You never say... hey saw you at Wolf Trap, did you have fun... we were in a hurry and could not stop to chat.

You are crazy if you don't have these normal conversations with your friends. I am not outing anybody I am just making conversation.

If you are guilty of something own it ... stop blaming others.

You are 100% backtracking and you know it. Your original comment was "If I see George out with someone, I later tell George's wife in front of George and let them deal with it." You are not idly chatting with someone about how they enjoyed the show at Wolf Trap. Talk about owning it... I don't have anything to hide, from my husband or anyone. YOU need to own the fact you admitted you enjoy delivering potentially upsetting information to women, in front of their spouse, so you can have the pleasure of being Hall Monitor for other people's behavior and marriages.

NP. You're so right - best to let women be bamboozled while their husband fucks around.

I believe most women are capable of finding out themselves. Maybe this is a personality trait where I don't enjoy others seeing me in weakness/pain/suffering, but if I get the feeling my husband is cheating, I am perfectly capable of getting to the bottom of it myself. No I do not want some fellow preschool parent taking it upon themselves to tell me. Handling my own shit is more important to me than the fact some busy-body pities me because she thinks she saw my husband having an affair.

It's very difficult to get to the bottom of something you're not supposed to know.

Agree to disagree. Most people aren't James Bond operating covertly and expertly. I have full trust in my husband and don't feel the need to monitor his activity or verify what he tells me. But if my intuition were going off and I felt something was off, I could easily check bank and credit card statements for weird charges, log in to our cell phone account and see who he is calling and texting, how often and when, etc. Now if you've put yourself in the position where you don't HAVE access to vital information like that, that's on you, but for most people, it would be shockingly easy to catch an affair if you thought it was happening and knew what to look for.

Not really... smart cheaters are not stupid enough to use their personal phone and credit card for an affair... work phone and expense account, yes.

Cheaters gaslight all the time... you really don't have any experience with this.

Often it happens during tragedy... the H gets cancer, family member dies and you just think the changes in your partner are because of the changes in their life.

If you believe that you have 100% intuition about your partner you are naive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has happened to me multiple times.

What I do, is the next time I see the wife (and sometime in front of the husband) I say.

"Oh, I saw George at Hunan Palace in Fairfax, I love that place do you guys go there often?"

Then I let them deal with it.

Twice it was an affair. One divorced the other didn't.

If I hear about an affair I don't say anything, If you are stupid enough for me to see it... I say something.

Nice shit stirring.

If you don't want your shit stirred... don't shit in my presence.

Also... stop passing STDs to everybody.

Um, first of all, you're crazy.
Second of all, you don't own the metro DC area, so what someone does in a public restaurant on their own time is seriously none of your business. If you came up to me and told me you'd seen my husband at Szechuan Palace as if you were divulging some very catastrophic information, I would say "Yes, he took a colleague who was in town for work and staying out that way there for dinner" and then stare your nosy ass down daring you to say more.

Really... I say to friends all the time... hey I saw Joe and the boys at the Nats game, what a beautiful night (and now you are staring me down wondering why I stalk your family... you are psycho!)... why is it weird for me to say... I saw Joe at Szechuan Palace, love that place... that is nosy? No its just a statement of fact.

Do you have friends? You never say... hey saw you at Wolf Trap, did you have fun... we were in a hurry and could not stop to chat.

You are crazy if you don't have these normal conversations with your friends. I am not outing anybody I am just making conversation.

If you are guilty of something own it ... stop blaming others.

You are 100% backtracking and you know it. Your original comment was "If I see George out with someone, I later tell George's wife in front of George and let them deal with it." You are not idly chatting with someone about how they enjoyed the show at Wolf Trap. Talk about owning it... I don't have anything to hide, from my husband or anyone. YOU need to own the fact you admitted you enjoy delivering potentially upsetting information to women, in front of their spouse, so you can have the pleasure of being Hall Monitor for other people's behavior and marriages.

NP. You're so right - best to let women be bamboozled while their husband fucks around.

I believe most women are capable of finding out themselves. Maybe this is a personality trait where I don't enjoy others seeing me in weakness/pain/suffering, but if I get the feeling my husband is cheating, I am perfectly capable of getting to the bottom of it myself. No I do not want some fellow preschool parent taking it upon themselves to tell me. Handling my own shit is more important to me than the fact some busy-body pities me because she thinks she saw my husband having an affair.

It's very difficult to get to the bottom of something you're not supposed to know.

Agree to disagree. Most people aren't James Bond operating covertly and expertly. I have full trust in my husband and don't feel the need to monitor his activity or verify what he tells me. But if my intuition were going off and I felt something was off, I could easily check bank and credit card statements for weird charges, log in to our cell phone account and see who he is calling and texting, how often and when, etc. Now if you've put yourself in the position where you don't HAVE access to vital information like that, that's on you, but for most people, it would be shockingly easy to catch an affair if you thought it was happening and knew what to look for.

Not really... smart cheaters are not stupid enough to use their personal phone and credit card for an affair... work phone and expense account, yes.

Cheaters gaslight all the time... you really don't have any experience with this.

Often it happens during tragedy... the H gets cancer, family member dies and you just think the changes in your partner are because of the changes in their life.

If you believe that you have 100% intuition about your partner you are naive.

Many of the affairs I know of happened with someone related to work. Watch out for those hot sales reps. We have a friend whose wife is stunning, brilliant and perfect. DH knows he is cheating on his wife with a sales rep. The female sales rep pays for everything.

[Anonymous]

Yes, people gaslight. And yes, some people want to do. But some don't. Relationships are very different, and if you don't know anything about these people's relationship, then don't pretend to. Certainly, if you are this woman's friend, and she has confided in you that she has these concerns, then you should tell her what you know. Otherwise, mind your own business and stay out of other people's relationships.

[Anonymous]

What is SATC?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is SATC?

Sex and the City. There was an episode when one of the girls was taken to a Chinese restaurant in a random neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This has happened to me multiple times.

What I do, is the next time I see the wife (and sometime in front of the husband) I say.

"Oh, I saw George at Hunan Palace in Fairfax, I love that place do you guys go there often?"

Then I let them deal with it.

Twice it was an affair. One divorced the other didn't.

If I hear about an affair I don't say anything, If you are stupid enough for me to see it... I say something.

... because you are a nosey b*ch

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've told a friend when I saw another woman coming in and out of her house while she was OOT. I deeply regretted it because it involved me in their messy messy divorce. I would never tell again.

Only tell if you are prepared to get involved and deep in their issues.

Hell, adultery charges only stick if OP saw her friend's DH doing the PIV thing with this other woman, or both coming out of a hotel room together. But good luck telling that to a spurned wife with visions of lifetime alimony and returning to her single Sex and the City life without skipping a beat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has happened to me multiple times.

What I do, is the next time I see the wife (and sometime in front of the husband) I say.

"Oh, I saw George at Hunan Palace in Fairfax, I love that place do you guys go there often?"

Then I let them deal with it.

Twice it was an affair. One divorced the other didn't.

If I hear about an affair I don't say anything, If you are stupid enough for me to see it... I say something.

Nice shit stirring.

If you don't want your shit stirred... don't shit in my presence.

Also... stop passing STDs to everybody.

Um, first of all, you're crazy.
Second of all, you don't own the metro DC area, so what someone does in a public restaurant on their own time is seriously none of your business. If you came up to me and told me you'd seen my husband at Szechuan Palace as if you were divulging some very catastrophic information, I would say "Yes, he took a colleague who was in town for work and staying out that way there for dinner" and then stare your nosy ass down daring you to say more.

Really... I say to friends all the time... hey I saw Joe and the boys at the Nats game, what a beautiful night (and now you are staring me down wondering why I stalk your family... you are psycho!)... why is it weird for me to say... I saw Joe at Szechuan Palace, love that place... that is nosy? No its just a statement of fact.

Do you have friends? You never say... hey saw you at Wolf Trap, did you have fun... we were in a hurry and could not stop to chat.

You are crazy if you don't have these normal conversations with your friends. I am not outing anybody I am just making conversation.

If you are guilty of something own it ... stop blaming others.

You are 100% backtracking and you know it. Your original comment was "If I see George out with someone, I later tell George's wife in front of George and let them deal with it." You are not idly chatting with someone about how they enjoyed the show at Wolf Trap. Talk about owning it... I don't have anything to hide, from my husband or anyone. YOU need to own the fact you admitted you enjoy delivering potentially upsetting information to women, in front of their spouse, so you can have the pleasure of being Hall Monitor for other people's behavior and marriages.

NP. You're so right - best to let women be bamboozled while their husband fucks around.

I believe most women are capable of finding out themselves. Maybe this is a personality trait where I don't enjoy others seeing me in weakness/pain/suffering, but if I get the feeling my husband is cheating, I am perfectly capable of getting to the bottom of it myself. No I do not want some fellow preschool parent taking it upon themselves to tell me. Handling my own shit is more important to me than the fact some busy-body pities me because she thinks she saw my husband having an affair.

It's very difficult to get to the bottom of something you're not supposed to know.

Agree to disagree. Most people aren't James Bond operating covertly and expertly. I have full trust in my husband and don't feel the need to monitor his activity or verify what he tells me. But if my intuition were going off and I felt something was off, I could easily check bank and credit card statements for weird charges, log in to our cell phone account and see who he is calling and texting, how often and when, etc. Now if you've put yourself in the position where you don't HAVE access to vital information like that, that's on you, but for most people, it would be shockingly easy to catch an affair if you thought it was happening and knew what to look for.

Not really... smart cheaters are not stupid enough to use their personal phone and credit card for an affair... work phone and expense account, yes.

Cheaters gaslight all the time... you really don't have any experience with this.

Often it happens during tragedy... the H gets cancer, family member dies and you just think the changes in your partner are because of the changes in their life.

If you believe that you have 100% intuition about your partner you are naive.

Many of the affairs I know of happened with someone related to work. Watch out for those hot sales reps. We have a friend whose wife is stunning, brilliant and perfect. DH knows he is cheating on his wife with a sales rep. The female sales rep pays for everything.

That's kinda hot. Sex on the side AND free food?

[Anonymous]

None of your business at this stage.

[Anonymous]

You know it's lunchtime when I browse this thread and my overriding response is, "Chinese sounds good for lunch."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This has happened to me multiple times.

What I do, is the next time I see the wife (and sometime in front of the husband) I say.

"Oh, I saw George at Hunan Palace in Fairfax, I love that place do you guys go there often?"

Then I let them deal with it.

Twice it was an affair. One divorced the other didn't.

If I hear about an affair I don't say anything, If you are stupid enough for me to see it... I say something.

Serious question: How do you sleep at night?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a cheated on wife, I wish one of the many people who knew without question about the affair had been willing to tell me. Sucks to be the last to know. However, in this case, you don't have enough information to make any assumptions. I think it would be fine to say to the wife when you run into her-"it was good to see x at y restaurant, I'd just been thinking that I hadn't see you guys all summer!" And then drop it, and definitely don't gossip.

OP here. I feel really bad for my boss's wife. Her husband has affairs pretty obviously and people talk about it. When she comes to work functions, everyone whispers behind her back. I actually just don't comment. I would hate to get fired for gossiping about the boss's extramarital affairs.

You are weird and your coworkers are too.

We have a cheater in our office. However, at office events nobody is whispering and gossiping. Do you happen to work in a restaurant, or bar?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a cheated on wife, I wish one of the many people who knew without question about the affair had been willing to tell me. Sucks to be the last to know. However, in this case, you don't have enough information to make any assumptions. I think it would be fine to say to the wife when you run into her-"it was good to see x at y restaurant, I'd just been thinking that I hadn't see you guys all summer!" And then drop it, and definitely don't gossip.

OP here. I feel really bad for my boss's wife. Her husband has affairs pretty obviously and people talk about it. When she comes to work functions, everyone whispers behind her back. I actually just don't comment. I would hate to get fired for gossiping about the boss's extramarital affairs.

You are weird and your coworkers are too.

We have a cheater in our office. However, at office events nobody is whispering and gossiping. Do you happen to work in a restaurant, or bar?

The boss's mistress if one of our vendors. The mistress was at the same event as the wife. Oh yeah, wife is pregnant too.

We have guys who sleep with another girl every night. No one cares about them.

When your boss's pregnant wife is in the same room as the mistress, you bet people notice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has happened to me multiple times.

What I do, is the next time I see the wife (and sometime in front of the husband) I say.

"Oh, I saw George at Hunan Palace in Fairfax, I love that place do you guys go there often?"

Then I let them deal with it.

Twice it was an affair. One divorced the other didn't.

If I hear about an affair I don't say anything, If you are stupid enough for me to see it... I say something.

Nice shit stirring.

If you don't want your shit stirred... don't shit in my presence.

Also... stop passing STDs to everybody.

Um, first of all, you're crazy.
Second of all, you don't own the metro DC area, so what someone does in a public restaurant on their own time is seriously none of your business. If you came up to me and told me you'd seen my husband at Szechuan Palace as if you were divulging some very catastrophic information, I would say "Yes, he took a colleague who was in town for work and staying out that way there for dinner" and then stare your nosy ass down daring you to say more.

Really... I say to friends all the time... hey I saw Joe and the boys at the Nats game, what a beautiful night (and now you are staring me down wondering why I stalk your family... you are psycho!)... why is it weird for me to say... I saw Joe at Szechuan Palace, love that place... that is nosy? No its just a statement of fact.

Do you have friends? You never say... hey saw you at Wolf Trap, did you have fun... we were in a hurry and could not stop to chat.

You are crazy if you don't have these normal conversations with your friends. I am not outing anybody I am just making conversation.

If you are guilty of something own it ... stop blaming others.

You are 100% backtracking and you know it. Your original comment was "If I see George out with someone, I later tell George's wife in front of George and let them deal with it." You are not idly chatting with someone about how they enjoyed the show at Wolf Trap. Talk about owning it... I don't have anything to hide, from my husband or anyone. YOU need to own the fact you admitted you enjoy delivering potentially upsetting information to women, in front of their spouse, so you can have the pleasure of being Hall Monitor for other people's behavior and marriages.

NP. You're so right - best to let women be bamboozled while their husband fucks around.

I believe most women are capable of finding out themselves. Maybe this is a personality trait where I don't enjoy others seeing me in weakness/pain/suffering, but if I get the feeling my husband is cheating, I am perfectly capable of getting to the bottom of it myself. No I do not want some fellow preschool parent taking it upon themselves to tell me. Handling my own shit is more important to me than the fact some busy-body pities me because she thinks she saw my husband having an affair.

It's very difficult to get to the bottom of something you're not supposed to know.

Agree to disagree. Most people aren't James Bond operating covertly and expertly. I have full trust in my husband and don't feel the need to monitor his activity or verify what he tells me. But if my intuition were going off and I felt something was off, I could easily check bank and credit card statements for weird charges, log in to our cell phone account and see who he is calling and texting, how often and when, etc. Now if you've put yourself in the position where you don't HAVE access to vital information like that, that's on you, but for most people, it would be shockingly easy to catch an affair if you thought it was happening and knew what to look for.

Not really... smart cheaters are not stupid enough to use their personal phone and credit card for an affair... work phone and expense account, yes.

Cheaters gaslight all the time... you really don't have any experience with this.

Often it happens during tragedy... the H gets cancer, family member dies and you just think the changes in your partner are because of the changes in their life.

If you believe that you have 100% intuition about your partner you are naive.

Many of the affairs I know of happened with someone related to work. Watch out for those hot sales reps. We have a friend whose wife is stunning, brilliant and perfect. DH knows he is cheating on his wife with a sales rep. The female sales rep pays for everything.

That's kinda hot. Sex on the side AND free food?

The wife is so lovely. DH's friend wined and dined her. I don't know why he is willing to risk that for a skanky sales rep.