Reply to Saw friend's husband out with another woman

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How is it shit stirring to mention you saw someone's spouse at a restaurant?

My mom was doubly devastated to learn of my stepdad's affair because after it came out, people mentioned they'd seen stepdad out with the other woman several times.

I would want to know.[/quote]

+1.  If I knew you, even just socially, and you didn't care about me enough to alert me in at least a socially graceful way (like PP above suggested), I would never forgive you and whatever social relationship we had would be dead.  If youally yourself with the perpetrator by choosing to be a silent bystander, then your not the kind of person I want in my universe.

Yes, maybe I'm in an open relationship, but alert me discreetly(hey, I saw George at the movies the other night.  The new Bond movie sure was great ....) and let me decide what to do from there.[/quote]

So saying to yourself "Diane's husband is at this restaurant with a woman but I have no idea if it's his sister, coworker, friend, so I'll just mind my own business" is allying yourself with a cheater? We are talking situations where ANYTHING could be taking place and people are supposed to rush to tell a spouse their spouse was ... Seen with someone of the opposite sex?

I laugh to think how many times my husband has been out to eat with a coworker, and even my sister a handful of times when she was in town, and how people might approach me ready to inflict some damage by telling me this. [/quote]

I think there's consensus in how to deliver the news.

Don't: rush up and speak conspiratorially in hushed tones while glancing around frantically. That's lame.

Do: mention casually, in passing, that "it was great to see [your spouse] the other night. Let's all have wine together soon!" Normal.

In all probability, you know your spouse was out to dinner, but on the off-chance you didn't and they are cheating, I won't be the cowardly asshole who stood silently by.[/quote]

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