Marriage
![[Post New]](/jforum/templates/default/images/icon_minipost_new.gif){kind=icon}
Anonymous
False. I clean my place for my own mental sanity. I could really care less if a woman approves of it. |
Anonymous
|
It's science:
Marriage is more beneficial for men than women, study shows Neither staying single nor suffering a divorce appears to have a big health impact on women, a study has shown http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/science/science-news/11668417/Marriage-is-more-beneficial-for-men-than-women-study-shows.html Divorce has a greater financial impact on women because married women end up making career sacrifices in order to provide unpaid labor for men, whose earning potential is undamaged by marriage. |
Anonymous
+ 1,000 |
Anonymous
Yes I can see why he is single. But your marriage seems like a very unusual arrangement, and I'm not sure why you agreed to such lopsided terms. I wouldn't say your odd example represents the "institution of marriage" as cited by the OP. |
Anonymous
And.... we should care why? We want a clean house. Why should our quality of life have to suffer because you don't? And then you sanctimoniously like to imply that women are being unreasonable by not wanting to live in mess and the male way, of only caring about getting to have sex (which is just such a desperate, pathetic mindset that it's unbelievable) is better. Bitch, please. |
Anonymous
My point is this is typical female drivel about chores and housekeep. Men want cold beers, lots of sex, and time to watch football. They don't really care about the decorating you've done around the house, the accent pillows you picked out, the hue of the paint you chose on the wall in the office, or how much dust there is on the baseboards. So stop claiming that you're "improving our lives" when you stress out about these things and knock yourself out to make sure stuff is spiff and span. We. Don't. Care. |
Anonymous
And why exactly is keeping a neat house or decorating "typical drivel" whereas beers, babes, and football is some noble pasttime? Please explain to me the logic here. |
Anonymous
Because we men don't claim that throwing great BBQ's, having cold beer in the fridge, or the like are reasons that our women have it good in a relationship! You're missing the point. Women go to great lengths touting how they do X, Y, and Z and so their men should be pleased. But if X, Y, and Z are things men are agnostic about as relationship goods those aren't really selling points. |
Anonymous
But if it's something we care about as women, we have every right to value those things. Whether or not you want to appreciate it, there is definite value in living in a neater space, in having a meal cooked for you, in having the house well decorated. In fact, it seems absurd to argue the opposite. And I hate to tell you- but men's opinion of a task does not add or delete value. A task or activity is worthwhile by itself, regardless of what "you men" have to say about it. |
Anonymous
You're missing the point. You're more than welcome to appreciate it and think it has value. But, don't tell us we have to count it as a reason we want to be with you in a relationship. That's like cooking spinach for your husband if you love it but knows he doesn't and then getting angry when he won't consider it a delicious meal. |
Anonymous
New poster, but again, this seems to miss the point. The woman can work as hard as she wants to live in a place she likes. But don't turn around and expect "marriage credits" for that effort. It's no better or worse than time a man spends putting effort into his hobby. |
Anonymous
Ok, and men shouldn't expect marriage points for wanting sex, or for.... erm, well I can't think of anyway in which the activities listed would add to the marriage. And they should expect to have points deducted when they can't bring things to the table that women like- like keeping a neat house, for example |
Anonymous
Now you're making no sense. Men are simple creatures. We present who were are on the dating market. Say I'm an upper middle class professional on the road to making 6 figures or more. Maybe I'm a lawyer. I bring a good income, education, and good looks (at least ones you find attractive) to the table and my basic desires for a relationship are regular sex, activities together, little nagging, companionship and appreciation. Mutual on all counts, btw. Problem is, we get engaged, married and suddenly I'm supposed to appreciate (as a substitute for all the previous sex and "cool girl" companionship you gave me) all the chores you do, meals you cook, children you want to raise. I would have been perfectly happy with the prior arrangements but you wanted to change the arrangement. Again all comes down to the fact that men meet women the way they want the woman already. We hope you won't change. You try to change us AND what we like. |
Anonymous
|
I will say this about marriage. It's a life. And life isn't necessarily romantic all the time. It's difficult, boring, stressful, fun, exciting, interesting. Marriage is so much more than romantic life, which I think a lot of people focus on to their own detriment. You don't need butterflies all the time if you are married to someone who respects you, is an active partner and parent, and is kind.
I do think that marriage and kids have aged me 10 years. It's a major toll. But I am the primary support person in my family (breadwinner, default parent, etc.). I enjoy my spouse and have really enjoyed watching them slowly grow. But growth is painful and requires patience and keeping a long view. If I didn't take the long view, I don't think we'd make it. That said, if I become a widow, that's it for me. I will never, ever intertwine my life in such a deep way with another person. |
Anonymous
Well, OK I get your point here. But I think there are lots of people saying that there are options that are better than "do I want a shit sandwich or a shit burrito for lunch?" |