Marriage

[Anonymous]

At times it seems to me that marriage is a grand scheme, a ruse designed to use women to benefit men. I truly see way more advantages for men than for women in the institution of marriage.

[Anonymous]

Don't married men live longer than single ones? I think marriage is a boondoggle for everyone involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't married men live longer than single ones? I think marriage is a boondoggle for everyone involved.

Yes, they do.

And single women live longer, and are happier than married women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At times it seems to me that marriage is a grand scheme, a ruse designed to use women to benefit men. I truly see way more advantages for men than for women in the institution of marriage.

Why? Women get pregnant. Men don't. If it weren't for marriage, women would be on their own raising the kid.

[Anonymous]

I totally agree.

I worked for a family law firm, and seeing almost every single fucking one of the women in these relationships be the ones who got fucked over cured me of my romanticism forever.

I'm 26 but my life plan is to have kids out of wedlock, either through the sperm bank or just getting with a guy, getting pregnant and not telling him (preferably an ex, someone I care about and respect), and raise them on my own.

I know everyone will say I'm crazy and it's harder than I realize but I have seen my mom be a single mom. And it was way easier than raising kids and having to deal with an overbearing asshole husband at the same time.

[Anonymous]

I don't know, OP. Maybe so. But I actually enjoy "going through life" with my DH and just having someone to share that experience with who knows me intimately and with whom I can feel totally comfortable, safe, secure. Plus he enjoys my company and makes me laugh more than anyone I know. It just works for us.

I get that it might not work for you. But if you ever do get married, keep in mind that marriage is not 50/50. It's 100/100. You both need to put in the whole effort, not meet each other half way. Also, you know the relationship is a "win" when you each feel that you are getting the better end of the deal being married to your spouse!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know, OP. Maybe so. But I actually enjoy "going through life" with my DH and just having someone to share that experience with who knows me intimately and with whom I can feel totally comfortable, safe, secure. Plus he enjoys my company and makes me laugh more than anyone I know. It just works for us.

I get that it might not work for you. But if you ever do get married, keep in mind that marriage is not 50/50. It's 100/100. You both need to put in the whole effort, not meet each other half way. Also, you know the relationship is a "win" when you each feel that you are getting the better end of the deal being married to your spouse!

How hopeful! So many of the DCUM marriage posts are depressing and sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At times it seems to me that marriage is a grand scheme, a ruse designed to use women to benefit men. I truly see way more advantages for men than for women in the institution of marriage.

Why? Women get pregnant. Men don't. If it weren't for marriage, women would be on their own raising the kid.

You do know how the kids get in there, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't know, OP. Maybe so. But I actually enjoy "going through life" with my DH and just having someone to share that experience with who knows me intimately and with whom I can feel totally comfortable, safe, secure. Plus he enjoys my company and makes me laugh more than anyone I know. It just works for us.

I get that it might not work for you. But if you ever do get married, keep in mind that marriage is not 50/50. It's 100/100. You both need to put in the whole effort, not meet each other half way. Also, you know the relationship is a "win" when you each feel that you are getting the better end of the deal being married to your spouse!

If only putting in 100% were a guarantee that your DH would too ...

[Anonymous]

I think men benefit from LTRs/marriage with women way more than do the women involved. But there's no ruse - it's obvious.

[Anonymous]

It's what bwings us togevah today.

That dweam within a dweam. That bwessed awwangement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At times it seems to me that marriage is a grand scheme, a ruse designed to use women to benefit men. I truly see way more advantages for men than for women in the institution of marriage.

I feel this way about having children. My childless-by-choice marriage is a fun and equitable partnership, and I'll be damned if I'm gonna screw that up by having kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I totally agree.

I worked for a family law firm, and seeing almost every single fucking one of the women in these relationships be the ones who got fucked over cured me of my romanticism forever.

I'm 26 but my life plan is to have kids out of wedlock, either through the sperm bank or just getting with a guy, getting pregnant and not telling him (preferably an ex, someone I care about and respect), and raise them on my own.

I know everyone will say I'm crazy and it's harder than I realize but I have seen my mom be a single mom. And it was way easier than raising kids and having to deal with an overbearing asshole husband at the same time.

My dad is a divorce lawyer and the most jaded person I have ever known, so I get that.

On the other hand, what it is about marriage that is a bad deal for women, assuming of course they marry a decent man? I look at my DW's set up. SAHM, I am very active with kids. I provide a high upper middle class lifestyle. I am totally cool with her taking whatever time she needs - she takes girls weekends away a couple times a year.

I am not saying marriage doesn't have its ups and downs. There are trade-offs for both of us, and I find monogamy and living with a low libido spouse soul crushing at times. Marriage involves a lot of compromise and sacrafice for both partners. But I also hear from her friends who are single moms who struggle mightily and I have a hard time imagining that is an easier more fulfilling choice than marriage to a good partner.

Certainly being single is far better than being married to a selfish partner but would you feel the same way if you had a committed partner and if so why?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At times it seems to me that marriage is a grand scheme, a ruse designed to use women to benefit men. I truly see way more advantages for men than for women in the institution of marriage.

Why? Women get pregnant. Men don't. If it weren't for marriage, women would be on their own raising the kid.

You do know how the kids get in there, right?

It's the raising kids part, not making them. Marriage is a societal extension that benefits the woman by ensuring a male caregiver for her child, and the man by ensuring he's raising his own child. Of course this covenant is broken in both directions, but I think this was the intent of formalized marriage early on.

[Anonymous]

Depends upon socio-economic status.

And for upper income SAHM it completely favors women. What I see are SAHM until kids out of the house, and then "retired" from SAHM. Housekeepers to take care of the house. They are completely spoiled, live in an insular world, and are the main reason this generation of kids is so feckin entitled.

I would tell my son, no feckin' way.