My Daughter Has Her Own Version of Reality
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Anonymous
They are all related though. It was very humbling when my then 12-year old DD showed me a video simulation on youtube on what it's like to have ADHD. I had no idea what she was going through. She was diagnosed with anxiety, depression, ADHD. The doctor said these are co-morbid conditions. Her psycho educational tests showed she had low working memory- that's what makes her forgetful. She has low processing speed- that's because she can't process information. It's like watching TV that's all static and sound is blaring from all directions. If you feel "lost" in that world, you will get anxious not being able to make sense of things. You will feel like there's something wrong with you. When you feel there's something wrong with you, you will get depressed, and you will engage in negative self-talk, and you will have low self esteem When you have low self esteem, you will get very defensive and hypersensitive. Your social skills will suffer and you will have a hard time having normal relationships. People who have ADHD usually are diagnosed with depression and anxiety. People who are diagnosed with depression aren't usually evaluated for ADHD. Depression usually gets treated and the ADHD goes undetected. In my daughter's case, I think that the inability to process information efficiently and accurately is the root cause. She doesn't seem to remember information presented to her verbally so I do write down our major agreements and I tape them to her bedroom wall. We refer to them when we have disagreements. It is frustrating. How can someone in the 99th percentile with verbal reasoning skills (as shown on her psycho-educational testing) not remember information? It's because of root cause #1- she can't process it. |
Anonymous
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New poster. It's great that your daughter is getting the help she needs. But there are many reasons why a person can be depressed, anxious, forgetful, absent-minded, and see the world differently from others. ADHD is just one of them. They are all related though. It was very humbling when my then 12-year old DD showed me a video simulation on youtube on what it's like to have ADHD. I had no idea what she was going through. She was diagnosed with anxiety, depression, ADHD. The doctor said these are co-morbid conditions. Her psycho educational tests showed she had low working memory- that's what makes her forgetful. She has low processing speed- that's because she can't process information. It's like watching TV that's all static and sound is blaring from all directions. If you feel "lost" in that world, you will get anxious not being able to make sense of things. You will feel like there's something wrong with you. When you feel there's something wrong with you, you will get depressed, and you will engage in negative self-talk, and you will have low self esteem When you have low self esteem, you will get very defensive and hypersensitive. Your social skills will suffer and you will have a hard time having normal relationships. People who have ADHD usually are diagnosed with depression and anxiety. People who are diagnosed with depression aren't usually evaluated for ADHD. Depression usually gets treated and the ADHD goes undetected. In my daughter's case, I think that the inability to process information efficiently and accurately is the root cause. She doesn't seem to remember information presented to her verbally so I do write down our major agreements and I tape them to her bedroom wall. We refer to them when we have disagreements. It is frustrating. How can someone in the 99th percentile with verbal reasoning skills (as shown on her psycho-educational testing) not remember information? It's because of root cause #1- she can't process it. No, they are not all related. People can suffer from depression and anxiety without having ADHD. |
Anonymous
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No, they are not all related. People can suffer from depression and anxiety without having ADHD.
Yes, this statement is correct. What I was saying is that people, specifically adults, who are diagnosed with depression and anxiety aren't screened for ADHD. It's not that they don't have it. They aren't usually screened for it. |
Anonymous
| NP. This discussion has been really informative. Thanks, all. |
Anonymous
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Admittedly I have not read every post, but I wanted to weigh in. My DD 11 started changing reality to suit her needs and position. My initial response was anger (my exDH did that), then after becoming more reflective I tried a different approach.
I started having sit down one on one conversations after she calmed down. I implemented consequences until she could talk calmly. She would attempt to placate me with an apology and feigned accountability. Insisting on talking through what went wrong was met with tears and more anger. Just last week we finally had a breakthrough (almost a year into this process), she admitted that owning up to being wrong makes her feel "weak" and not getting the last word makes her "very angry". I cried. During our talks I focused on probing questions, trying to get her to reflect on her choices and how those choices contributed to the outcome. The real key for me was remaining calm (not always easy) so she wouldn't get the fight she seemed to be looking for. I'm definitely not a therapist, but I tried to maintain that therapist-like tone and demeanor. I am hopeful now of her future relationships, I no longer feel that she is doomed. |
Anonymous
Why do you keep saying TEENAGER???!!!??? |
Anonymous
| Okay, so we don't chuck it up simply to being a pre-teenager. Whatever. |