Wife half my age - what to expect in future

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 40 and considering marriage to a woman half my age. I'm wondering if there is anyone else that has done this and how the dynamics of the relationship changed/worked due to transitions from one stage of life to the next.

Are you in love? More importantly do you really like each other? Liking each other, getting each other, respecting each other. That will last through each stage. My aunt married at 25 to a man who was almost 50. Love of her life, she was the love of his. He passed after their 40th anniversary.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Let's say you guys are truly soul mates and it's meant to be. There will still be backlash from your peers (think of how the age appropriate wives of your male friends will treat her).

Is she emotionally mature enough to have that roll off her back? Are you ready to have to defend her to all of your friends, or cut off those relationships because she can't handle the way they treat her? Most 20 year-olds are not prepared for that, and I doubt she's much different.

+1. And are you ready to spend time with her friends? It's only fair, if you're expecting her to spend time with yours, right?

Social isolation can be a problem if you can't find a group of friends in which you both feel comfortable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 40 and considering marriage to a woman half my age. I'm wondering if there is anyone else that has done this and how the dynamics of the relationship changed/worked due to transitions from one stage of life to the next.

Are you in love? More importantly do you really like each other? Liking each other, getting each other, respecting each other. That will last through each stage. My aunt married at 25 to a man who was almost 50. Love of her life, she was the love of his. He passed after their 40th anniversary.

Well I learn something new on this board every day! Today's lesson: love is all you need. forget all that other stuff.

huge difference between 25 before 1975 and 20 in 2015.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Im going to state something very bluntly and I hope you don't take personal offense. If you marry her expect for your general public opinion of yourself to go way down instantly. Co workers, friends, family, social circles you've had for years...EVERYONE will think less of you. I am not saying its fair but its the truth.

PREACH! and we will worry about your mental health.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Im going to state something very bluntly and I hope you don't take personal offense. If you marry her expect for your general public opinion of yourself to go way down instantly. Co workers, friends, family, social circles you've had for years...EVERYONE will think less of you. I am not saying its fair but its the truth.

PREACH! and we will worry about your mental health.

+1. Do you have any female friends your own age, OP. Expect them to distance themselves. They may not be outright rude, but it will be too weird for them and make them think less of you.

Why do you think you haven't found an age-appropriate partner?

[Anonymous]

Did OP say if she was an American or not? Because if she is from another country (and that is very much the case in many, if not most, 30-40 marriages) the answers to your questions are vastly different.

[Anonymous]

Have you been in a position of authority to her? Professor? Supervisor? Mentor? Basically is there or had there been a power differential?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 40 and considering marriage to a woman half my age. I'm wondering if there is anyone else that has done this and how the dynamics of the relationship changed/worked due to transitions from one stage of life to the next.

Are you in love? More importantly do you really like each other? Liking each other, getting each other, respecting each other. That will last through each stage. My aunt married at 25 to a man who was almost 50. Love of her life, she was the love of his. He passed after their 40th anniversary.

Well I learn something new on this board every day! Today's lesson: love is all you need. forget all that other stuff.

huge difference between 25 before 1975 and 20 in 2015.

You should learn to read. Here I will help you. "Liking each other, getting each other, respecting each other. That will last through each stage."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 40 and considering marriage to a woman half my age. I'm wondering if there is anyone else that has done this and how the dynamics of the relationship changed/worked due to transitions from one stage of life to the next.

Are you in love? More importantly do you really like each other? Liking each other, getting each other, respecting each other. That will last through each stage. My aunt married at 25 to a man who was almost 50. Love of her life, she was the love of his. He passed after their 40th anniversary.

Well I learn something new on this board every day! Today's lesson: love is all you need. forget all that other stuff.

huge difference between 25 before 1975 and 20 in 2015.

You should learn to read. Here I will help you. "Liking each other, getting each other, respecting each other. That will last through each stage."

I read that part just fine. I still think you are deluding yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did OP say if she was an American or not? Because if she is from another country (and that is very much the case in many, if not most, 30-40 marriages) the answers to your questions are vastly different.

OP refuses to answer anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 40 and considering marriage to a woman half my age. I'm wondering if there is anyone else that has done this and how the dynamics of the relationship changed/worked due to transitions from one stage of life to the next.

Are you in love? More importantly do you really like each other? Liking each other, getting each other, respecting each other. That will last through each stage. My aunt married at 25 to a man who was almost 50. Love of her life, she was the love of his. He passed after their 40th anniversary.

Well I learn something new on this board every day! Today's lesson: love is all you need. forget all that other stuff.

huge difference between 25 before 1975 and 20 in 2015.

You should learn to read. Here I will help you. "Liking each other, getting each other, respecting each other. That will last through each stage."

I read that part just fine. I still think you are deluding yourself.

Your post sure didn't reflect it. "love is all you need. forget all that other stuff." Don't back peddle now.

[Anonymous]

OP, you will be how she works out her daddy issues. Or not. I would steer clear.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you been in a position of authority to her? Professor? Supervisor? Mentor? Basically is there or had there been a power differential?

OP: No I have not been in a position of authority over her. Our meeting was not based on that type of situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Let's say you guys are truly soul mates and it's meant to be. There will still be backlash from your peers (think of how the age appropriate wives of your male friends will treat her).

Is she emotionally mature enough to have that roll off her back? Are you ready to have to defend her to all of your friends, or cut off those relationships because she can't handle the way they treat her? Most 20 year-olds are not prepared for that, and I doubt she's much different.

+1. And are you ready to spend time with her friends? It's only fair, if you're expecting her to spend time with yours, right?

Social isolation can be a problem if you can't find a group of friends in which you both feel comfortable.

This may not be an issue for them. Spouse and I are the same age and rarely hang out with each others friends. We mostly hang out together and usually do our own things with our respective friends. There's a few events like weddings that we go to together but mostly we do our own thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did OP say if she was an American or not? Because if she is from another country (and that is very much the case in many, if not most, 30-40 marriages) the answers to your questions are vastly different.

OP refuses to answer anything.

Actually the initial post looks to me a bit like a troll's attempt to generate 100+ pages of passionate outrage from trusting DCUMers but who knows?
Although refusal for clarification would definitely be along the same lines... Just sayin.