MIL trying to takeover my son's 5th birthday party. WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:23:10 here. No my MIL is not a gem. In fact, tolerating her takes all of the self control and strength that I can muster - and I am on my 18th year of her. However, she loves my children, she is their grandmother, my children love her and there are just never too many people in this world to love your kids. So, I do what it takes to facilitate their relationship. We don't kiss and hug, but I sit silently by while she kisses and hugs my kids. And I drive hours so they can know each other.

After reading many of the comments, I still don't get OP. OP doesn't have a destination party planned, so she is not looking a losing a deposit. The party was at least 6 weeks away, so she probably hadn't sent invitations. But, even if she had, they were to friends and I know my friends would understand if I moved the date of a party at my house because family was coming in from out of town. And, even if she had sent invites and didn't want to try to change the date, OP didn't offer MIL an alternative date. How hard would it have been to say that the b-date wouldn't work, but how about the day before or the day after?

The only conclusion that one can reach is that OP doesn't want her child to have a relationship with his grandmother. And, given that OP isn't making the slightest effort to get her son together with his cousins leads one to believe that she doesn't care if her son ever gets to know his cousins. One can only hope that OP's son treats her better - or if you are vindictive, that she gets a taste of her own medicine and never gets to see her own grandchildren.

Wow, you are really mean! OP seems nicer than you, at least. I think I'd be worried about whether or not YOU get to see your grandchildren, with that nasty streak you've got!

[Anonymous]

Stop panicking
In laws do not have the right to rule the lives of their adult children.
If you disagree say no and leave it at that.
If they press on say you no longer want to have to give long explanations to justify yourself.
No is no
Let dh deal with his family

[Anonymous]

Saw this in Ask Amy today and thought of you, OP:

"Dear Amy: My husband and I recently threw a first birthday party for our son.

My mother-in-law arrived at our home and had brought a little "smash cake" for my son. However, I had already made a special cake for him and told her that.

She got so upset that she burst into tears and sat out in her car for half an hour.

My brother-in-law and husband went out to see how she was, and she complained to them about how hateful I was. I was embarrassed and upset by her behavior. Now she pretends nothing happened.

I let her know that I am still upset and would like to talk to her about it. Other people have recommended that I let the thing go.

I don't really want to go to any family events when I am not sure how she will react, and I am embarrassed that she spent so much time telling her family I'm awful. — Upset Daughter-in-Law

Dear Upset: Your husband should advocate for you by not tolerating or passing along hateful comments his mother makes about you. You should realize that a 1-year-old's birthday is a big event, not only for you but also for the child's grandmother.

Throw her a bone, for goodness' sake. "

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2009/03/02/AR2009030200789.html

I think we should all write to Amy about this MIL - talk about a true hi-jacking of a birthday party! Phew!