Sister has brain tumor wants to go to Hawaii

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me two weeks is a long time to leave my toddler and infant with my husband. Could you cut it down to one week?
Does she have any children?

Two weeks to be with your sister, who has a brain tumor? Are you kidding me? What is wrong with your husband?

OP, do NOT ask her to make the trip shorter due to your child care issues. I didn't get the sense this bothered you from a mom standpoint, but just in case....

NP. Um, sorry but if making it a tad shorter means OP can actually go and have a stress-free time, that's for the best. I understand sis is sick, but sadly the world does not stop because of it. You have no idea what obligations OP's DH has or her kids' needs. If two weeks is not feasible, it's not.

Yeah, life threatening illness are so inconvenient for other people.

Oh FFS, what if her sis had wanted everyone to take 2 months off or all year? According to you, there's a life threatening illness so all bets are off! A lot I people have to care for loved ones with terminal illnesses without the luxury of exotic bonding vacays, for financial or other reasons. Just because you think two weeks is workable doesn't mean it is for everyone. It doesn't appear to be OP's problem, but I take issue with the attitude shown to the PP who suggested 2 weeks might be kinda long.

Well, I'm quite glad OP doesn't share your issues. You're one angry person.

What issues? Some people's lives don't allow them to go away for 2 weeks. This is a fact. Good for OP that she can. Why you can't accept that someone else might not be able to -- and that that doesn't mean the person doesn't love their family member -- is baffling. You sound like a very narrow minded person.

I take issue with the "world does not stop because of it" comment. That's callous and mean because for a person with a brain tumor, yes, the world is stopping for them and freezing. Have some frickin compassion for someone who's sick and scared and not all FFS about it. I would do all I could to assist in that and not make it about my convenience. If that view is baffling for you, I don't know what to say. Peace.

The person with the brain tumor whose world is stopping was not the one posting. Sorry if my acronyms offended your delicate Internet sensibilities.

You are a fairly evil person. Just in case you weren't aware of that.

[Anonymous]

Just want to chime in and say my aunt had a brain tumor removed over 12 years ago and is doing great! Good luck to you & your sister, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just want to chime in and say my aunt had a brain tumor removed over 12 years ago and is doing great! Good luck to you & your sister, OP.

Yay! Thank you for offsetting the negativity.

[Anonymous]

I think posters need to ignore the very negative person on this thread.

my brother was in a tragic accident when he was 20, my whole world stopped. Was away from my job and my home and obligations for a month before I started getting back to normal.

That is how most people deal with family in crisis, they drop everything and never once regret being there, or complain about it. I am sorry to the nasty poster who doesn't get it an wants to be argumentative...

I hope OP and her sisters have an amazing trip, the memories made will help OP's sister get through a long road of treatment. Sending healing vibes your sister's way OP.

[Anonymous]

It's a long trip. Is she really up for it? What is her prognosis?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
Thanks to everyone for your kindness.

My understanding is her doctors are ok with the trip and starting treatment after they are optimistic .

Neither of my sisters have children. I'm the only one with kids and my youngest is 6 I fully trust DH with them.

I'm certain I can get the time off work.

My only issue with the 2 weeks is that in my mind she should get treatment right away, and I know that's not my call.

It seems I will be packing my bags.

so sorry OP. I wanted to add that a good friend of mine had a brain tumor, when it was removed they said it was so large it must have been there for over 10 years. He was given 3 years to live. That was 15 years ago. There is hope.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me two weeks is a long time to leave my toddler and infant with my husband. Could you cut it down to one week?
Does she have any children?

Two weeks to be with your sister, who has a brain tumor? Are you kidding me? What is wrong with your husband?

OP, do NOT ask her to make the trip shorter due to your child care issues. I didn't get the sense this bothered you from a mom standpoint, but just in case....

NP. Um, sorry but if making it a tad shorter means OP can actually go and have a stress-free time, that's for the best. I understand sis is sick, but sadly the world does not stop because of it. You have no idea what obligations OP's DH has or her kids' needs. If two weeks is not feasible, it's not.

Seriously, a husband who cannot handle his own toddler and infant for two weeks, for whatever reason let alone these circumstances, isn't worth much. Why do we cut men slack like this? It's not rocket science to take care of two kids.

If it seems difficult for him, arrange for a family member, friend or babysitter to help him out. Explain the situation to any friend or neighbor and I'm sure they would be willing to help out.

I think the only reason not to do this is if the cost means that you will be in danger of not being able to pay rent/mortgage and key bills.

To be fair, I don't think I could handle my infant and toddler for 2 weeks by myself either. So maybe it's not a gender issue but more that we're incompetent parents

Little kids are HARD! Relentlessly needy, emotionally unpredictable, and totally dependent on you. You don't have to be incompetent to find the prospect of single parenting two of them for two weeks daunting, if not a bad idea if at all avoidable.

Unbelievable. Are you an only child? Or do you have siblings with whom you are not close? Would you seriously not allow your spouse to spend two weeks with his dying sibling because you would be too stressed out to care for your kids by yourself? Pathetic. Seriously, pathetic.

[Anonymous]

Go. Don't wait for perfect time. It is now.

[Anonymous]

OP here.
Thanks to everyone for your kindness.

My understanding is her doctors are ok with the trip and starting treatment after they are optimistic .

Neither of my sisters have children. I'm the only one with kids and my youngest is 6 I fully trust DH with them.

I'm certain I can get the time off work.

My only issue with the 2 weeks is that in my mind she should get treatment right away, and I know that's not my call.

It seems I will be packing my bags.

I'm glad to hear it is going to be a trip you can work out. She is in a scary place and your support is going to be valuable and a real help.

The only thing I would check with her, and ask her to check with her doctor, are details of any present symptoms and if there is anything you need to know to take care of the symptoms while you are away. I don't mean to sound alarmist or anything. I'm a cancer patient with brain mets and I developed issues with seizures, as well as some other neurological issues. The brain is a tricky thing. That said, once I was able to let close friends what to expect and how to handle it, everyone was more comfortable. For example, most seizures don't require a 911 call, just some care. If you know what to do if she is having any symptoms and how to handle them, you will all feel more relaxed on your trip and have a great time.

Again, I don't mean to introduce worry where there is none. I hope she is asymptomatic and you can just kick back and have fun.

Best of luck to you and your sister and I hope you have an amazing time with your sisters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me two weeks is a long time to leave my toddler and infant with my husband. Could you cut it down to one week?
Does she have any children?

Two weeks to be with your sister, who has a brain tumor? Are you kidding me? What is wrong with your husband?

OP, do NOT ask her to make the trip shorter due to your child care issues. I didn't get the sense this bothered you from a mom standpoint, but just in case....

NP. Um, sorry but if making it a tad shorter means OP can actually go and have a stress-free time, that's for the best. I understand sis is sick, but sadly the world does not stop because of it. You have no idea what obligations OP's DH has or her kids' needs. If two weeks is not feasible, it's not.

Yeah, life threatening illness are so inconvenient for other people.

Oh FFS, what if her sis had wanted everyone to take 2 months off or all year? According to you, there's a life threatening illness so all bets are off! A lot I people have to care for loved ones with terminal illnesses without the luxury of exotic bonding vacays, for financial or other reasons. Just because you think two weeks is workable doesn't mean it is for everyone. It doesn't appear to be OP's problem, but I take issue with the attitude shown to the PP who suggested 2 weeks might be kinda long.

Well, I'm quite glad OP doesn't share your issues. You're one angry person.

What issues? Some people's lives don't allow them to go away for 2 weeks. This is a fact. Good for OP that she can. Why you can't accept that someone else might not be able to -- and that that doesn't mean the person doesn't love their family member -- is baffling. You sound like a very narrow minded person.

I take issue with the "world does not stop because of it" comment. That's callous and mean because for a person with a brain tumor, yes, the world is stopping for them and freezing. Have some frickin compassion for someone who's sick and scared and not all FFS about it. I would do all I could to assist in that and not make it about my convenience. If that view is baffling for you, I don't know what to say. Peace.

The person with the brain tumor whose world is stopping was not the one posting. Sorry if my acronyms offended your delicate Internet sensibilities.

You are a fairly evil person. Just in case you weren't aware of that.

Yeah, you seem real pleasant yourself -- calling a perfect stranger "evil" for making the point that maybe the time period wouldn't work out for some people. Look in the mirror, you seem like a real bitch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me two weeks is a long time to leave my toddler and infant with my husband. Could you cut it down to one week?
Does she have any children?

Two weeks to be with your sister, who has a brain tumor? Are you kidding me? What is wrong with your husband?

OP, do NOT ask her to make the trip shorter due to your child care issues. I didn't get the sense this bothered you from a mom standpoint, but just in case....

NP. Um, sorry but if making it a tad shorter means OP can actually go and have a stress-free time, that's for the best. I understand sis is sick, but sadly the world does not stop because of it. You have no idea what obligations OP's DH has or her kids' needs. If two weeks is not feasible, it's not.

Seriously, a husband who cannot handle his own toddler and infant for two weeks, for whatever reason let alone these circumstances, isn't worth much. Why do we cut men slack like this? It's not rocket science to take care of two kids.

If it seems difficult for him, arrange for a family member, friend or babysitter to help him out. Explain the situation to any friend or neighbor and I'm sure they would be willing to help out.

I think the only reason not to do this is if the cost means that you will be in danger of not being able to pay rent/mortgage and key bills.

To be fair, I don't think I could handle my infant and toddler for 2 weeks by myself either. So maybe it's not a gender issue but more that we're incompetent parents

Little kids are HARD! Relentlessly needy, emotionally unpredictable, and totally dependent on you. You don't have to be incompetent to find the prospect of single parenting two of them for two weeks daunting, if not a bad idea if at all avoidable.

Unbelievable. Are you an only child? Or do you have siblings with whom you are not close? Would you seriously not allow your spouse to spend two weeks with his dying sibling because you would be too stressed out to care for your kids by yourself? Pathetic. Seriously, pathetic.

Maybe, horror of horrors, PP is an only child or maybe she is in the - I don't think rare - situation of not being close with her siblings. All families are not the same. I have a co-worker who took a month off from work when her grandfather died. Good for her, because she was close to home. When my grandmother died, I didn't even go to the funeral because I barely knew her, there was major family drama involved, and she was just not a nice woman. Call me names if you want. Point is, every situation is different. None of this matters to OP, but ppl in similar situations shouldn't feel bad if they aren't doing exactly what she's doing.

[Anonymous]

^^^ close to him (not home)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me two weeks is a long time to leave my toddler and infant with my husband. Could you cut it down to one week?
Does she have any children?

Two weeks to be with your sister, who has a brain tumor? Are you kidding me? What is wrong with your husband?

OP, do NOT ask her to make the trip shorter due to your child care issues. I didn't get the sense this bothered you from a mom standpoint, but just in case....

NP. Um, sorry but if making it a tad shorter means OP can actually go and have a stress-free time, that's for the best. I understand sis is sick, but sadly the world does not stop because of it. You have no idea what obligations OP's DH has or her kids' needs. If two weeks is not feasible, it's not.

Yeah, life threatening illness are so inconvenient for other people.

Oh FFS, what if her sis had wanted everyone to take 2 months off or all year? According to you, there's a life threatening illness so all bets are off! A lot I people have to care for loved ones with terminal illnesses without the luxury of exotic bonding vacays, for financial or other reasons. Just because you think two weeks is workable doesn't mean it is for everyone. It doesn't appear to be OP's problem, but I take issue with the attitude shown to the PP who suggested 2 weeks might be kinda long.

Well, I'm quite glad OP doesn't share your issues. You're one angry person.

What issues? Some people's lives don't allow them to go away for 2 weeks. This is a fact. Good for OP that she can. Why you can't accept that someone else might not be able to -- and that that doesn't mean the person doesn't love their family member -- is baffling. You sound like a very narrow minded person.

I take issue with the "world does not stop because of it" comment. That's callous and mean because for a person with a brain tumor, yes, the world is stopping for them and freezing. Have some frickin compassion for someone who's sick and scared and not all FFS about it. I would do all I could to assist in that and not make it about my convenience. If that view is baffling for you, I don't know what to say. Peace.

The person with the brain tumor whose world is stopping was not the one posting. Sorry if my acronyms offended your delicate Internet sensibilities.

You are a fairly evil person. Just in case you weren't aware of that.

Yeah, you seem real pleasant yourself -- calling a perfect stranger "evil" for making the point that maybe the time period wouldn't work out for some people. Look in the mirror, you seem like a real bitch.

Let. It. Go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Just want to chime in and say my aunt had a brain tumor removed over 12 years ago and is doing great! Good luck to you & your sister, OP.

I know two close friends/relatives who had brain tumors removed and both are now doing great, working in challenging careers, in otherwise good health, etc. Recovery is difficult (some memory and other functions were lost after surgery) but the function came back with time and therapy. It is not a death sentence. Take care, OP!

[Anonymous]

Only on DCUM would a post about the fragility of life devolve into name-calling and sniping. Give it a rest people. Go for a walk or something.