Sister has brain tumor wants to go to Hawaii

[Anonymous]

Definitely go! I lost my sister to a BT and things can change quickly and drastically. If she's approved to travel, go for it and make some awesome memories. You won't regret it but I can tell you, you will regret it if you don't go. YOLO!

[Anonymous]

I wanted to add if you needed info or advice on BTs etc, I can provide what I know. Just say the word.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me two weeks is a long time to leave my toddler and infant with my husband. Could you cut it down to one week?
Does she have any children?

Two weeks to be with your sister, who has a brain tumor? Are you kidding me? What is wrong with your husband?

OP, do NOT ask her to make the trip shorter due to your child care issues. I didn't get the sense this bothered you from a mom standpoint, but just in case....

NP. Um, sorry but if making it a tad shorter means OP can actually go and have a stress-free time, that's for the best. I understand sis is sick, but sadly the world does not stop because of it. You have no idea what obligations OP's DH has or her kids' needs. If two weeks is not feasible, it's not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me two weeks is a long time to leave my toddler and infant with my husband. Could you cut it down to one week?
Does she have any children?

Two weeks to be with your sister, who has a brain tumor? Are you kidding me? What is wrong with your husband?

OP, do NOT ask her to make the trip shorter due to your child care issues. I didn't get the sense this bothered you from a mom standpoint, but just in case....

NP. Um, sorry but if making it a tad shorter means OP can actually go and have a stress-free time, that's for the best. I understand sis is sick, but sadly the world does not stop because of it. You have no idea what obligations OP's DH has or her kids' needs. If two weeks is not feasible, it's not.

Yeah, life threatening illness are so inconvenient for other people.

[Anonymous]

OP here.
Thanks to everyone for your kindness.

My understanding is her doctors are ok with the trip and starting treatment after they are optimistic .

Neither of my sisters have children. I'm the only one with kids and my youngest is 6 I fully trust DH with them.

I'm certain I can get the time off work.

My only issue with the 2 weeks is that in my mind she should get treatment right away, and I know that's not my call.

It seems I will be packing my bags.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
Thanks to everyone for your kindness.

My understanding is her doctors are ok with the trip and starting treatment after they are optimistic .

Neither of my sisters have children. I'm the only one with kids and my youngest is 6 I fully trust DH with them.

I'm certain I can get the time off work.

My only issue with the 2 weeks is that in my mind she should get treatment right away, and I know that's not my call.

It seems I will be packing my bags.

I'm glad you're going. It will help to lift up your sister's spirits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me two weeks is a long time to leave my toddler and infant with my husband. Could you cut it down to one week?
Does she have any children?

Two weeks to be with your sister, who has a brain tumor? Are you kidding me? What is wrong with your husband?

OP, do NOT ask her to make the trip shorter due to your child care issues. I didn't get the sense this bothered you from a mom standpoint, but just in case....

NP. Um, sorry but if making it a tad shorter means OP can actually go and have a stress-free time, that's for the best. I understand sis is sick, but sadly the world does not stop because of it. You have no idea what obligations OP's DH has or her kids' needs. If two weeks is not feasible, it's not.

Yeah, life threatening illness are so inconvenient for other people.

Oh FFS, what if her sis had wanted everyone to take 2 months off or all year? According to you, there's a life threatening illness so all bets are off! A lot I people have to care for loved ones with terminal illnesses without the luxury of exotic bonding vacays, for financial or other reasons. Just because you think two weeks is workable doesn't mean it is for everyone. It doesn't appear to be OP's problem, but I take issue with the attitude shown to the PP who suggested 2 weeks might be kinda long.

[Anonymous]

Good news the docs are optimistic OP. Have a memorable trip and take lots of pics and videos (can't stress videos enough-you won't regret it regardless of her outcome).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.
Thanks to everyone for your kindness.

My understanding is her doctors are ok with the trip and starting treatment after they are optimistic .

Neither of my sisters have children. I'm the only one with kids and my youngest is 6 I fully trust DH with them.

I'm certain I can get the time off work.

My only issue with the 2 weeks is that in my mind she should get treatment right away, and I know that's not my call.

It seems I will be packing my bags.

Do you feel comfortable bringing up this concern with your sister? Not to change her mind, but to reassure yourself, to learn more about what her treatments will entail and what kind of support she will need during those treatments. If you live close enough to her, you may have to take leave to accompany her to these treatments.

[Anonymous]

I'll pile on in that you should make every effort to accommodate your sister and go!

Even with a positive prognosis becoming a "cancer patient" can really shake one's sense of self. And the treatment process is long and arduous so a nice vacation before beginning sounds like a nice thing to do to get her head in the game. Delaying treatment for two weeks, a month is generally fine (although she should always defer to her oncologist on such matters).

My sister is battling Hodgkins right now, so I can empathize how you feel. It's like nothing is quite the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me two weeks is a long time to leave my toddler and infant with my husband. Could you cut it down to one week?
Does she have any children?

Two weeks to be with your sister, who has a brain tumor? Are you kidding me? What is wrong with your husband?

OP, do NOT ask her to make the trip shorter due to your child care issues. I didn't get the sense this bothered you from a mom standpoint, but just in case....

NP. Um, sorry but if making it a tad shorter means OP can actually go and have a stress-free time, that's for the best. I understand sis is sick, but sadly the world does not stop because of it. You have no idea what obligations OP's DH has or her kids' needs. If two weeks is not feasible, it's not.

Yeah, life threatening illness are so inconvenient for other people.

Oh FFS, what if her sis had wanted everyone to take 2 months off or all year? According to you, there's a life threatening illness so all bets are off! A lot I people have to care for loved ones with terminal illnesses without the luxury of exotic bonding vacays, for financial or other reasons. Just because you think two weeks is workable doesn't mean it is for everyone. It doesn't appear to be OP's problem, but I take issue with the attitude shown to the PP who suggested 2 weeks might be kinda long.

Well, I'm quite glad OP doesn't share your issues. You're one angry person.

[Anonymous]

Ok, everybody, op has decided to go. Good. Yay!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me two weeks is a long time to leave my toddler and infant with my husband. Could you cut it down to one week?
Does she have any children?

Two weeks to be with your sister, who has a brain tumor? Are you kidding me? What is wrong with your husband?

OP, do NOT ask her to make the trip shorter due to your child care issues. I didn't get the sense this bothered you from a mom standpoint, but just in case....

NP. Um, sorry but if making it a tad shorter means OP can actually go and have a stress-free time, that's for the best. I understand sis is sick, but sadly the world does not stop because of it. You have no idea what obligations OP's DH has or her kids' needs. If two weeks is not feasible, it's not.

Yeah, life threatening illness are so inconvenient for other people.

Oh FFS, what if her sis had wanted everyone to take 2 months off or all year? According to you, there's a life threatening illness so all bets are off! A lot I people have to care for loved ones with terminal illnesses without the luxury of exotic bonding vacays, for financial or other reasons. Just because you think two weeks is workable doesn't mean it is for everyone. It doesn't appear to be OP's problem, but I take issue with the attitude shown to the PP who suggested 2 weeks might be kinda long.

Well, I'm quite glad OP doesn't share your issues. You're one angry person.

What issues? Some people's lives don't allow them to go away for 2 weeks. This is a fact. Good for OP that she can. Why you can't accept that someone else might not be able to -- and that that doesn't mean the person doesn't love their family member -- is baffling. You sound like a very narrow minded person.

[Anonymous]

Speaking from experience, with BTs, a month would be way too long to postpone treatment. Those tumor(s) grow and press against the skull with nowhere else to go and you can imagine what that does in terms of pain and cognitive issues.

[Anonymous]

Enjoy the trip, OP. Live it up. xoxo