Sister has brain tumor wants to go to Hawaii

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me two weeks is a long time to leave my toddler and infant with my husband. Could you cut it down to one week?
Does she have any children?

Two weeks to be with your sister, who has a brain tumor? Are you kidding me? What is wrong with your husband?

OP, do NOT ask her to make the trip shorter due to your child care issues. I didn't get the sense this bothered you from a mom standpoint, but just in case....

NP. Um, sorry but if making it a tad shorter means OP can actually go and have a stress-free time, that's for the best. I understand sis is sick, but sadly the world does not stop because of it. You have no idea what obligations OP's DH has or her kids' needs. If two weeks is not feasible, it's not.

Yeah, life threatening illness are so inconvenient for other people.

Oh FFS, what if her sis had wanted everyone to take 2 months off or all year? According to you, there's a life threatening illness so all bets are off! A lot I people have to care for loved ones with terminal illnesses without the luxury of exotic bonding vacays, for financial or other reasons. Just because you think two weeks is workable doesn't mean it is for everyone. It doesn't appear to be OP's problem, but I take issue with the attitude shown to the PP who suggested 2 weeks might be kinda long.

Well, I'm quite glad OP doesn't share your issues. You're one angry person.

What issues? Some people's lives don't allow them to go away for 2 weeks. This is a fact. Good for OP that she can. Why you can't accept that someone else might not be able to -- and that that doesn't mean the person doesn't love their family member -- is baffling. You sound like a very narrow minded person.

I take issue with the "world does not stop because of it" comment. That's callous and mean because for a person with a brain tumor, yes, the world is stopping for them and freezing. Have some frickin compassion for someone who's sick and scared and not all FFS about it. I would do all I could to assist in that and not make it about my convenience. If that view is baffling for you, I don't know what to say. Peace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me two weeks is a long time to leave my toddler and infant with my husband. Could you cut it down to one week?
Does she have any children?

Two weeks to be with your sister, who has a brain tumor? Are you kidding me? What is wrong with your husband?

OP, do NOT ask her to make the trip shorter due to your child care issues. I didn't get the sense this bothered you from a mom standpoint, but just in case....

NP. Um, sorry but if making it a tad shorter means OP can actually go and have a stress-free time, that's for the best. I understand sis is sick, but sadly the world does not stop because of it. You have no idea what obligations OP's DH has or her kids' needs. If two weeks is not feasible, it's not.

Yeah, life threatening illness are so inconvenient for other people.

Oh FFS, what if her sis had wanted everyone to take 2 months off or all year? According to you, there's a life threatening illness so all bets are off! A lot I people have to care for loved ones with terminal illnesses without the luxury of exotic bonding vacays, for financial or other reasons. Just because you think two weeks is workable doesn't mean it is for everyone. It doesn't appear to be OP's problem, but I take issue with the attitude shown to the PP who suggested 2 weeks might be kinda long.

Well, I'm quite glad OP doesn't share your issues. You're one angry person.

What issues? Some people's lives don't allow them to go away for 2 weeks. This is a fact. Good for OP that she can. Why you can't accept that someone else might not be able to -- and that that doesn't mean the person doesn't love their family member -- is baffling. You sound like a very narrow minded person.

I take issue with the "world does not stop because of it" comment. That's callous and mean because for a person with a brain tumor, yes, the world is stopping for them and freezing. Have some frickin compassion for someone who's sick and scared and not all FFS about it. I would do all I could to assist in that and not make it about my convenience. If that view is baffling for you, I don't know what to say. Peace.

+1!!!

And enjoy the trip OP, eventhough its under the no so best circumstances. Hugs!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me two weeks is a long time to leave my toddler and infant with my husband. Could you cut it down to one week?
Does she have any children?

Two weeks to be with your sister, who has a brain tumor? Are you kidding me? What is wrong with your husband?

OP, do NOT ask her to make the trip shorter due to your child care issues. I didn't get the sense this bothered you from a mom standpoint, but just in case....

NP. Um, sorry but if making it a tad shorter means OP can actually go and have a stress-free time, that's for the best. I understand sis is sick, but sadly the world does not stop because of it. You have no idea what obligations OP's DH has or her kids' needs. If two weeks is not feasible, it's not.

Yeah, life threatening illness are so inconvenient for other people.

Oh FFS, what if her sis had wanted everyone to take 2 months off or all year? According to you, there's a life threatening illness so all bets are off! A lot I people have to care for loved ones with terminal illnesses without the luxury of exotic bonding vacays, for financial or other reasons. Just because you think two weeks is workable doesn't mean it is for everyone. It doesn't appear to be OP's problem, but I take issue with the attitude shown to the PP who suggested 2 weeks might be kinda long.

Well, I'm quite glad OP doesn't share your issues. You're one angry person.

What issues? Some people's lives don't allow them to go away for 2 weeks. This is a fact. Good for OP that she can. Why you can't accept that someone else might not be able to -- and that that doesn't mean the person doesn't love their family member -- is baffling. You sound like a very narrow minded person.

I take issue with the "world does not stop because of it" comment. That's callous and mean because for a person with a brain tumor, yes, the world is stopping for them and freezing. Have some frickin compassion for someone who's sick and scared and not all FFS about it. I would do all I could to assist in that and not make it about my convenience. If that view is baffling for you, I don't know what to say. Peace.

The person with the brain tumor whose world is stopping was not the one posting. Sorry if my acronyms offended your delicate Internet sensibilities.

[Anonymous]

^^^ And by the why I said SADLY the world does not stop bc it is genuinely sad that everyone can't stop everything to help the person in need. But sometimes they can't.

[Anonymous]

Meant "by the way" obvi

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For me two weeks is a long time to leave my toddler and infant with my husband. Could you cut it down to one week?
Does she have any children?

I am the one who wrote this comment and I did not mean for it to be offensive or cause fighting in this thread.
I am glad OP can take the vacation with her sister and I encourage her to do so. Reading her original post, she wasn't asking for advice just sympathy and I am sadden that this thread has devolved to vitriol.

FWIW, my sister and I live two hours from each other and spend one-on-one time once a month. I do not know what I would do if she had a brain tumor and asked me to go to Hawaii. My circumstances are different from OP's and like I said, I am gladdened to hear that she can make the trip.

Please stop fighting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me two weeks is a long time to leave my toddler and infant with my husband. Could you cut it down to one week?
Does she have any children?

Two weeks to be with your sister, who has a brain tumor? Are you kidding me? What is wrong with your husband?

OP, do NOT ask her to make the trip shorter due to your child care issues. I didn't get the sense this bothered you from a mom standpoint, but just in case....

NP. Um, sorry but if making it a tad shorter means OP can actually go and have a stress-free time, that's for the best. I understand sis is sick, but sadly the world does not stop because of it. You have no idea what obligations OP's DH has or her kids' needs. If two weeks is not feasible, it's not.

Seriously, a husband who cannot handle his own toddler and infant for two weeks, for whatever reason let alone these circumstances, isn't worth much. Why do we cut men slack like this? It's not rocket science to take care of two kids.

If it seems difficult for him, arrange for a family member, friend or babysitter to help him out. Explain the situation to any friend or neighbor and I'm sure they would be willing to help out.

I think the only reason not to do this is if the cost means that you will be in danger of not being able to pay rent/mortgage and key bills.

[Anonymous]

I feel I've been hearing about more brain tumors lately than I ever have before. 4 people I know or am connected to through my children's classrooms in the last year. 2 of them children.

Is it just a coincidence or has anyone else been experiencing this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel I've been hearing about more brain tumors lately than I ever have before. 4 people I know or am connected to through my children's classrooms in the last year. 2 of them children.

Is it just a coincidence or has anyone else been experiencing this?

It's the cell phones. Keep them away from your head as much as possible.

[Anonymous]

Which island, OP? I can give you some tips!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel I've been hearing about more brain tumors lately than I ever have before. 4 people I know or am connected to through my children's classrooms in the last year. 2 of them children.

Is it just a coincidence or has anyone else been experiencing this?

Once you know someone with a BT, it seems to be everywhere because you are more aware they exist. Sorry for those you know having to deal with one. I have 2 family members dealing with it (one deceased and one alive). Same tumor grade, just at different times and locations.

OP- if your sister had surgery to remove, she can't start treatment for about a month anyway. Hopefully she is being treated at a BT Center and does well. Enjoy your trip and just be aware of any medications she may be on and potential side effects (that can build up and occur not right away). And make sure she's on some type of anti-seizure medicine as anything foreign in your Brain could lead to a potential seizure

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me two weeks is a long time to leave my toddler and infant with my husband. Could you cut it down to one week?
Does she have any children?

Two weeks to be with your sister, who has a brain tumor? Are you kidding me? What is wrong with your husband?

OP, do NOT ask her to make the trip shorter due to your child care issues. I didn't get the sense this bothered you from a mom standpoint, but just in case....

NP. Um, sorry but if making it a tad shorter means OP can actually go and have a stress-free time, that's for the best. I understand sis is sick, but sadly the world does not stop because of it. You have no idea what obligations OP's DH has or her kids' needs. If two weeks is not feasible, it's not.

Seriously, a husband who cannot handle his own toddler and infant for two weeks, for whatever reason let alone these circumstances, isn't worth much. Why do we cut men slack like this? It's not rocket science to take care of two kids.

If it seems difficult for him, arrange for a family member, friend or babysitter to help him out. Explain the situation to any friend or neighbor and I'm sure they would be willing to help out.

I think the only reason not to do this is if the cost means that you will be in danger of not being able to pay rent/mortgage and key bills.

To be fair, I don't think I could handle my infant and toddler for 2 weeks by myself either. So maybe it's not a gender issue but more that we're incompetent parents

[Anonymous]

I lost my sister in law to a brain tumor. Go and have a wonderful time. Take lots of pictures of her and you. Your kids will treasure the pictures when they are older.

[Anonymous]

i think it would depend on whether she has her own kids..and her prognosis. I would not rob her last weeks from her family..I would not be able to bear that down the road.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For me two weeks is a long time to leave my toddler and infant with my husband. Could you cut it down to one week?
Does she have any children?

Two weeks to be with your sister, who has a brain tumor? Are you kidding me? What is wrong with your husband?

OP, do NOT ask her to make the trip shorter due to your child care issues. I didn't get the sense this bothered you from a mom standpoint, but just in case....

NP. Um, sorry but if making it a tad shorter means OP can actually go and have a stress-free time, that's for the best. I understand sis is sick, but sadly the world does not stop because of it. You have no idea what obligations OP's DH has or her kids' needs. If two weeks is not feasible, it's not.

Seriously, a husband who cannot handle his own toddler and infant for two weeks, for whatever reason let alone these circumstances, isn't worth much. Why do we cut men slack like this? It's not rocket science to take care of two kids.

If it seems difficult for him, arrange for a family member, friend or babysitter to help him out. Explain the situation to any friend or neighbor and I'm sure they would be willing to help out.

I think the only reason not to do this is if the cost means that you will be in danger of not being able to pay rent/mortgage and key bills.

To be fair, I don't think I could handle my infant and toddler for 2 weeks by myself either. So maybe it's not a gender issue but more that we're incompetent parents

Little kids are HARD! Relentlessly needy, emotionally unpredictable, and totally dependent on you. You don't have to be incompetent to find the prospect of single parenting two of them for two weeks daunting, if not a bad idea if at all avoidable.