The AP is a female physician in our community.

[Anonymous]

On a practical level, you discipline yourself to get beyond this. You can train your thoughts away from her and onto yourself. Stop yourself when your mind strays there and say, "I will not let this woman steal any more of my brain space. I choose to think of ______." Then get up and do something good. Use a rubber band to snap your wrist as a reminder every time your mind strays to her.

It worked for me when I discovered my fiancé was a sex addict. Actually I made a rule that I had to stop what I was doing and exercise for 10 minutes every time I flashed on an image of what he had done. Over time, my thoughts turned less and less to him. Plus I got physically stronger.

DH and AP suck. They have stolen enough. Don't give them more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I'm a wise man. However it will probably take you a long time to attain what I am about to explain to you.

Nothing he did with his AP takes away from his Love for you and your sexual self. He simply needed someone else at this time in his life. It probably would have been a short affair had you not found out about it.

I know it hurts. It still doesn't erase all the Love you have shared together. If you really loved him, then work out the present problems together. You can have a stronger marriage if you don't go ape crazy over your jealousy. Learn from it and forgive him. Someday you may need forgiveness of the same type or another.

Best of luck

Oh, why don't you fuck right off, 'wise man'

[Anonymous]

OP here: I see the general consensus is that doctors profession is a non factor in character. I did/do have slight expectations of certain trustworthiness for certain professions. It was just a shame since I do generally admire many doctors for many reasons. Just makes me sad really, but I can see being sad over these events regardless. Time will heal. Thank you for your input.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: I see the general consensus is that doctors profession is a non factor in character. I did/do have slight expectations of certain trustworthiness for certain professions. It was just a shame since I do generally admire many doctors for many reasons. Just makes me sad really, but I can see being sad over these events regardless. Time will heal. Thank you for your input.

I know what you mean - doctors and lawyers are held in higher esteem in a community than say, a waitress who lives in a trailer (nothing wrong with this if she is hard working and honest). But people are people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: I see the general consensus is that doctors profession is a non factor in character. I did/do have slight expectations of certain trustworthiness for certain professions. It was just a shame since I do generally admire many doctors for many reasons. Just makes me sad really, but I can see being sad over these events regardless. Time will heal. Thank you for your input.

Sorry for what you are going through, OP. As a aside, though, you have to learn to separate what someone does for a living from their character. You can't trust what someone says just b/c they are a doctor, lawyer, or whatever other professions you admire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ah. In my day, AP = Advanced Placement

Affair Partner seems too sterile, too politically correct somehow.

in my day: AP = Academic Probation. Some AP'd out of college classes, I would say I did too in my way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the OP. i understand my issues with my husband. i understand that im not a petfect spouse. I undertand if it wasnt her, it would have likely been someone else. Even if she has less tha 2% culpability in the fallout of all this, i really am weirded out by this petson's profession of "helping and healing" people, considering the foreseeable harm that resulted. I don't think I would have had as much of a hard time wrapping my head around this if her profession had been for instance selling washing machines.

To the PP, clearly you are here to be mean. What's wrong with you?

What if the other woman was a cop? Or a politician? Or a lawyer? What about a school teacher...? I mean, come on, she spends time with children but then goes out and fucks one of their fathers?? How could she?! What if she was business woman? How could she be trusted with making honest business deals?

I could go on, but I think you see where I'm going. I totally understand how some view doctors as being held to a very high standard in society -- in fact I'm a physician myself -- but we're as fallible as any other human. We make mistakes in both our professional lives and our personal lives.

Is she wrong for screwing around with your husband? Yes. But no more wrong if she were a cashier at Target.

Hey, what is wrong about being a cashier at Target? You used that example as an polar opposite of a physician? Screw you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is the OP. i understand my issues with my husband. i understand that im not a petfect spouse. I undertand if it wasnt her, it would have likely been someone else. Even if she has less tha 2% culpability in the fallout of all this, i really am weirded out by this petson's profession of "helping and healing" people, considering the foreseeable harm that resulted. I don't think I would have had as much of a hard time wrapping my head around this if her profession had been for instance selling washing machines.

To the PP, clearly you are here to be mean. What's wrong with you?

What if the other woman was a cop? Or a politician? Or a lawyer? What about a school teacher...? I mean, come on, she spends time with children but then goes out and fucks one of their fathers?? How could she?! What if she was business woman? How could she be trusted with making honest business deals?

I could go on, but I think you see where I'm going. I totally understand how some view doctors as being held to a very high standard in society -- in fact I'm a physician myself -- but we're as fallible as any other human. We make mistakes in both our professional lives and our personal lives.

Is she wrong for screwing around with your husband? Yes. But no more wrong if she were a cashier at Target.

Hey, what is wrong about being a cashier at Target? You used that example as an polar opposite of a physician? Screw you.

I used it as an example of a job that generally doesn't get held to a separate standard, unlike police, politics, doctors, lawyers, etc.
I meant no offence to Target employees.

[Anonymous]

So much hate for the gifted