adopting a baby that probably has FAS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I would also get him evaluation by Infants and Toddlers (depending on where you live it could be called Early Intervention). It's a free service that evaluates young children - birth through 3. Every state has it. They evaluate all areas of development and will give you a general synopsis of where your nephew is.

Thank you, I live in PG County, Maryland. I will look into this.

I really can't imagine my life without him it in. I've done some serious thinking about this and come to the conclusion that I'm "all in", even if he does have problems later. Financially, it will be rough to pay for daycare but I will figure something out. I really wish my sis had life insurance, it would have made things much easier.

Get life insurance people!!!

I have life insurance on myself, but I'm going to call to increase the amount now, after going through this. My sis left behind a lot of debt.

The child should be receiving social security. Apply for social security.

Yes, if you haven't already, apply for Social Security survivor benefits on behalf of your nephew. You can make an appointment with your local SS office.

Thank you!!! I have not done this but will look into it first thing Monday!

Yes benefits are available if your sister worked and paid into the SS system. You will need to take documents with you. You can get the list on the SS website. You will need the child's birth certificate and social security number and the death certificates. One of the big issues you will face is the missing father. If the birth certificate lists a father then you will have to find him.

One other thing. You may have to set up guardianship in order to receive the checks. If so you may need a lawyer. It's pretty simple to do and if you do that together with the adoption you may be able to get your legal fees reimbursed through a tax refund in the tax year you complete the adoption.

You might want to contact an attorney. They can give you their fees - it's usually a flat rate unless you have complications. A few years back I think I paid around $3,500 but I already had a home study and all of the other court requirements. To get names of attorneys, google Adoption Attorneys. Some of the popular ones are Jennifer Fairfax, Peter Wiernicki, Kristen Gullig.

[Anonymous]

PP mentioned insurance - this is something to think of sooner rather than later. If your plan is to have your child on your insurance you may have a deadline to do this - it's typically 30 days from the qualifying event. Plus a three month old needs lots of medical care - well baby visits, vaccinations etc. there may be free health insurance available through the Medicaid system given your circumstances.

[Anonymous]

I would encourage you to speak with an attorney/financial advisor about whether you should actually adopt your nephew or if you should only retain guardianship. You need to deterine which would benefit you more financially. Yes, that sounds cold but as the mother of 2 SN kids, believe me, you have to consider the money.

I think its admirable that you're willing to step in and care for your nephew. Given your sister's behavior, it's likely she had some untreated disorders that led to her drinking (self-medicating) and risky behavior (hook ups). Even if your nephew does not have FAS, he is at risk for the same disorders (as would any child you have even though you may not have the disorders, there's a big genetic component and, assuming she's your biological sister, you would carry the genes for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my opinion, if you were ready to adopt this child, then you wouldn't asking for opinions on this board. Please keep in mind that even if your nephew (right now) is 100% healthy, there is always the potentional for an accicident down the road that could be crippling; like falling on head and developing slight brain damage (this happened to someone I know). It just doesn't seem like you are comfortable adopting and facing any challenges to cone with you nephew. I recommend you let him go to a family who 100% knows they want to adopt and unconditional love a child, no mat

Let me guess. You are desperate to adopt and think you are far more deserving than op. She will and is finding a way to make it work. Kids belong with bio families before being adopted out. And, I say this as an adoptive mom of a special needs kid.

Op, you will find a way to make it work. We were told our child was healthy, what ever that means, and we have special needs. You know what, he is a great kid, an absolute joy and even with everything I would do it again. You will be a great mom and aunt and like all of us, figure it out as you go. Do not listen to this poster.

[Anonymous]

Agree that you do not need to pay your. Sisters debt. Even if they attempt to collect it is not your responsibility.