Advice Needed for Romance with a German Man

[Anonymous]

Ha, I'm half German and there is some truth here. My German cousins are lovely, warm people. Love to drink, smoke, get out the guitar and sing. They also are shockingly rigid about certain things: the spacing of their children must be so, and the bedtime must be this as well, and everything has to be arranged in this particular way that they read in a book was the best. We do adore them though; they are very generous, intelligent and informed in addition to being lots of fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
They start wars in International Relations. In fact it scares me that we are allies because they always lose.

On the plus side, they kill lots and lots of French and Russians before they go under.

[Anonymous]

They go out of their way to extol Jews and Jewish culture, but that is just overcompensation because they've been conditioned to have contempt for them.

Sexually, you are better shaved or natural, because certain "landing strips" create a welter of confusing feelings in them (see above).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When my german grandmother was recovering from hip surgery about 10 years ago me and my dh (who is jewish) and the kids would congregate in her bedroom to help her in her convalescence. While my DH was seated in the chair next to her bed and in full hearing of her grandchildren she said: :"vell, I never thought I vould have a jew in my bedroom". So we'll always have that to remember her by.

Holy hot tamales. So sorry your family had to go through that. I hope that she was senile at least... not that it would excuse the sentiment but at least she'd have an excuse for not being able to shut her trap.

[Anonymous]

This thread is the winner of the week. Hands down.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my german grandmother was recovering from hip surgery about 10 years ago me and my dh (who is jewish) and the kids would congregate in her bedroom to help her in her convalescence. While my DH was seated in the chair next to her bed and in full hearing of her grandchildren she said: :"vell, I never thought I vould have a jew in my bedroom". So we'll always have that to remember her by.

Holy hot tamales. So sorry your family had to go through that. I hope that she was senile at least… not that it would excuse the sentiment but at least she'd have an excuse for not being able to shut her trap.

She was not remotely senile; unfortunately this is what passes for conversation in our family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my german grandmother was recovering from hip surgery about 10 years ago me and my dh (who is jewish) and the kids would congregate in her bedroom to help her in her convalescence. While my DH was seated in the chair next to her bed and in full hearing of her grandchildren she said: :"vell, I never thought I vould have a jew in my bedroom". So we'll always have that to remember her by.

Holy hot tamales. So sorry your family had to go through that. I hope that she was senile at least… not that it would excuse the sentiment but at least she'd have an excuse for not being able to shut her trap.

She was not remotely senile; unfortunately this is what passes for conversation in our family.

That makes it even worse. If she wasn't senile, you're a much better person than I am for not shaming the heck out of her for that remark.

[Anonymous]

During the summer of 1978, I was 17 years old and out in the backyard and I saw my german grandmother bent over on her knees on the ground, weeping with a trowel in her hand. I came up behind her and asked her what was wrong. Without turning around, she said: "Charles Boyer has died". I couldn't help it; I laughed, as teenagers do. She rose up to her full 5'2" and whirled around and round-house slapped me in the face so hard, I fell backward into the dirt. Lesson learned. Germans love their french romantic movie stars and they will hit you if you laugh at them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When my german grandmother was recovering from hip surgery about 10 years ago me and my dh (who is jewish) and the kids would congregate in her bedroom to help her in her convalescence. While my DH was seated in the chair next to her bed and in full hearing of her grandchildren she said: :"vell, I never thought I vould have a jew in my bedroom". So we'll always have that to remember her by.

Holy hot tamales. So sorry your family had to go through that. I hope that she was senile at least… not that it would excuse the sentiment but at least she'd have an excuse for not being able to shut her trap.

She was not remotely senile; unfortunately this is what passes for conversation in our family.

That makes it even worse. If she wasn't senile, you're a much better person than I am for not shaming the heck out of her for that remark.

You'd have to have known her to know how dangerous and pointless it would have been to reply to her.

[Anonymous]

German here, this thread is hilarious and reminded me of how German I am. When my DH gives me a backrub and he says 5 minutes I time it as well..and it better not be 4 minutes haha.
In other areas Germans are less uptight than Americans. We do inappropriate things all the time and find it funny. For most Germans inappropriate jokes are hilarious. Racial or homophobic jokes are still very much okay in Germany. I experienced actual racism and homophobia much more in the States, however.
Families are tight and German mothers usually will be über present until the day they die.
Timeliness is a matter of manners for us, as well is cleanliness. We consider it very impolite to be late (Even if you just meet up with a friend.) or having a messy house when you expect guests. And obviously we expect the same from others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
They start wars in International Relations. In fact it scares me that we are allies because they always lose.

On the plus side, they kill lots and lots of French and Russians before they go under.

Are you English? Because I'll give you a pass for that, it having just been the 100th anniversary of the armistice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
They start wars in International Relations. In fact it scares me that we are allies because they always lose.

On the plus side, they kill lots and lots of French and Russians before they go under.

Thought Germany has a vast amount of natural resources. So why do they start wars? It's usually the countries with little resources that go out and steal from other people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:During the summer of 1978, I was 17 years old and out in the backyard and I saw my german grandmother bent over on her knees on the ground, weeping with a trowel in her hand. I came up behind her and asked her what was wrong. Without turning around, she said: "Charles Boyer has died". I couldn't help it; I laughed, as teenagers do. She rose up to her full 5'2" and whirled around and round-house slapped me in the face so hard, I fell backward into the dirt. Lesson learned. Germans love their french romantic movie stars and they will hit you if you laugh at them.

I am sorry you got slapped but I love this story!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH is German born, raised there until his early teens. To meet him you'd never suspect he's German.

That being said, he's exactly like all the PPs have described: detail oriented, rigid in planning, operations, etc. it's certainly helped his career. How PP described ruthlessly efficient is about it. He budgets to the penny having detailed spreadsheets on every detail of our lives, including our future dream plans. That being said, he is a wonderful partner and companion, given to totally unexpected episodes of complete silliness at times.

My relationship with his parents is cordial but not warm. I was raised with a crazy French Canadian family on my mom's side, so I am WAYYY too much for them. That being said, they are very supportive of their children and grandchildren.

Silliness like Heidi Klum. She tries so hard to be funny but she just comes off as a weird foreigner.

[Anonymous]

Before we could go on any sort of outing in the car, my german grandfather would check and re-check the tire pressure, check oil and washer fluids, spray down the headlights and rear taillights with windex and set the odometer to zero. Really. And the car was spotless always.