irritated - rsvp 24 hours in advance of the birthday

[Anonymous]

I'll be in this position in a few months, DD's party location has a max # of 20 (there are 15 in DD's class but she has friends in other classes). I'm planning on inviting the children in her room first, then expanding to her friends in other rooms. I also plan on making it very clear on the invite that there is a limit for the party and if they don't RSVP by the date I can't guarantee a spot. Of course I'll also tell them to let me know if they need more time, I understand due to our area people may have plans with out of town and family and what not. I'm a reasonable person, if you communicate.

The previous parent who didn't respond was absolutely in the wrong. She didn't communicate. In this instance unless I see the wording on the invite it could go either way.

[Anonymous]

OP, I would have done the same thing. People need to learn to RSVP on time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The truth is that pump it up actually had pretty big capacity- I think a party can have a max of like 30 (or more) kids. So if it's a matter of not wanting to pay for extra kids, it looks a little ungracious (even though the late RSVPer is in the wrong).

OP here - the party is not at pump it up. I do not have hts option for paying for extra guests. The location had a hard limit based on their capacity and the activity.

I think the late-responders should not have put you in this position. Let's face it: you can see when someone views an evite. They should be organized enough to check their calendar when they view it, and reply yes or no right then. If they don't so that, [b]it's likely they're waiting to see if something better materializes, or they're overly self-important and think basic etiquette doesn't apply to them.

There's no reason to leave spaces for non-responders. Next time just delete them from the evite after the RSVP deadline.[/quot

I would like to clarify that this is not always the case -- we have 4 DCs, and a lot of time I need to check with my DH's crazy work schedule and other DCs activities schedules to see if our child can attend. For some families, it is very easy to know right away if they are free to attend, others not so easy, so don't judge all families that they are "waiting for a better offer."' That is just not true and so cynical. However, I do believe that all families should RSVP by the deadline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I swear there was a thread like this a few weeks ago from the other side and OP was completely attacked. Now this OP is being attacked. Can't win!

You're right, there was, but the consensus was actually the same as it is here. I feel like most PP's agree with the OP on this one (ie it IS ok to say no this far past the RSVP date with max capacity) and on the other thread the consensus was that the OP, who was whining and complaining about her daughter being "uninvited" to a party she never RSVP'd for, was in the wrong.

ITA.

[Anonymous]

"Please RSVP by XX. I must purchase the tickets/give the final count/whatever and per the venues rules, won't be able to add guests after that date."

And I like the idea of a follow up email the following day to the nonresponders saying you're sorry they are not able to attend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For our party, I used evite. I had a deadline. A week before, I sent a reminder via e-vite. 2 days before I had to give the venue a final headcount (they charged extra per person), I individually emailed or FB PMed those who had not responded (there were either 3 or 4 out of 11 households) and informed them that the venue had a deadline when I had to give a head count and I could not guarantee they could come if they didn't let me know. I was planning on calling the parents of those who didn't respond on the last day if they didn't respond to the email/PM but they all RSVPed by the date.

At that point, if someone ignored an evite (and all the parents apologized, said they had seen it but got busy or had to check with family, etc), ignored a email/PM and ignored a phone call, then I really don't feel the obligation to include the child. The parent will have to apologize to the child for screwing up and make it up to their child somehow.

I get it...I'm busy too, but at a certain point parents who were special snowflakes growing up have to finally take a little personal responsibility and be an adult.

This OP didn't contact them beyond evite.

You did not read OP's post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For our party, I used evite. I had a deadline. A week before, I sent a reminder via e-vite. 2 days before I had to give the venue a final headcount (they charged extra per person), I individually emailed or FB PMed those who had not responded (there were either 3 or 4 out of 11 households) and informed them that the venue had a deadline when I had to give a head count and I could not guarantee they could come if they didn't let me know. I was planning on calling the parents of those who didn't respond on the last day if they didn't respond to the email/PM but they all RSVPed by the date.

At that point, if someone ignored an evite (and all the parents apologized, said they had seen it but got busy or had to check with family, etc), ignored a email/PM and ignored a phone call, then I really don't feel the obligation to include the child. The parent will have to apologize to the child for screwing up and make it up to their child somehow.

I get it...I'm busy too, but at a certain point parents who were special snowflakes growing up have to finally take a little personal responsibility and be an adult.

This OP didn't contact them beyond evite.

You did not read OP's post.

What do you mean? RSVP requests went out via evite. OP didn't contact the people personally before dis-inviting them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For our party, I used evite. I had a deadline. A week before, I sent a reminder via e-vite. 2 days before I had to give the venue a final headcount (they charged extra per person), I individually emailed or FB PMed those who had not responded (there were either 3 or 4 out of 11 households) and informed them that the venue had a deadline when I had to give a head count and I could not guarantee they could come if they didn't let me know. I was planning on calling the parents of those who didn't respond on the last day if they didn't respond to the email/PM but they all RSVPed by the date.

At that point, if someone ignored an evite (and all the parents apologized, said they had seen it but got busy or had to check with family, etc), ignored a email/PM and ignored a phone call, then I really don't feel the obligation to include the child. The parent will have to apologize to the child for screwing up and make it up to their child somehow.

I get it...I'm busy too, but at a certain point parents who were special snowflakes growing up have to finally take a little personal responsibility and be an adult.

This OP didn't contact them beyond evite.

Yes that's what I do. If they do not respond to the evite, then I email them separately. My neighbor sent me an evite which I never got. I'm not sure why. They emailed me to see if I had it, and I said no. Then they resent it, so that we could attend the party. Sometimes things get lost in cyberspace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll be in this position in a few months, DD's party location has a max # of 20 (there are 15 in DD's class but she has friends in other classes). I'm planning on inviting the children in her room first, then expanding to her friends in other rooms. I also plan on making it very clear on the invite that there is a limit for the party and if they don't RSVP by the date I can't guarantee a spot. Of course I'll also tell them to let me know if they need more time, I understand due to our area people may have plans with out of town and family and what not. I'm a reasonable person, if you communicate.

The previous parent who didn't respond was absolutely in the wrong. She didn't communicate. In this instance unless I see the wording on the invite it could go either way.

OMG, this is going too far. Like I said on a previous email, evites can go astray or into spam. Before you dis-invite children, please contact the parent by an alternate method such as email or phone. Don't assume they will get the invitation before you uninvite them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll be in this position in a few months, DD's party location has a max # of 20 (there are 15 in DD's class but she has friends in other classes). I'm planning on inviting the children in her room first, then expanding to her friends in other rooms. I also plan on making it very clear on the invite that there is a limit for the party and if they don't RSVP by the date I can't guarantee a spot. Of course I'll also tell them to let me know if they need more time, I understand due to our area people may have plans with out of town and family and what not. I'm a reasonable person, if you communicate.

The previous parent who didn't respond was absolutely in the wrong. She didn't communicate. In this instance unless I see the wording on the invite it could go either way.

OMG, this is going too far. Like I said on a previous email, evites can go astray or into spam. Before you dis-invite children, please contact the parent by an alternate method such as email or phone. Don't assume they will get the invitation before you uninvite them.

Exactly. - 11:57

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll be in this position in a few months, DD's party location has a max # of 20 (there are 15 in DD's class but she has friends in other classes). I'm planning on inviting the children in her room first, then expanding to her friends in other rooms. I also plan on making it very clear on the invite that there is a limit for the party and if they don't RSVP by the date I can't guarantee a spot. Of course I'll also tell them to let me know if they need more time, I understand due to our area people may have plans with out of town and family and what not. I'm a reasonable person, if you communicate.

The previous parent who didn't respond was absolutely in the wrong. She didn't communicate. In this instance unless I see the wording on the invite it could go either way.

OMG, this is going too far. Like I said on a previous email, evites can go astray or into spam. Before you dis-invite children, please contact the parent by an alternate method such as email or phone. Don't assume they will get the invitation before you uninvite them.

Well then no harm. If they never saw the evite they never know they were uninvited. No big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll be in this position in a few months, DD's party location has a max # of 20 (there are 15 in DD's class but she has friends in other classes). I'm planning on inviting the children in her room first, then expanding to her friends in other rooms. I also plan on making it very clear on the invite that there is a limit for the party and if they don't RSVP by the date I can't guarantee a spot. Of course I'll also tell them to let me know if they need more time, I understand due to our area people may have plans with out of town and family and what not. I'm a reasonable person, if you communicate.

The previous parent who didn't respond was absolutely in the wrong. She didn't communicate. In this instance unless I see the wording on the invite it could go either way.

OMG, this is going too far. Like I said on a previous email, evites can go astray or into spam. Before you dis-invite children, please contact the parent by an alternate method such as email or phone. Don't assume they will get the invitation before you uninvite them.

I will be sending out an evite on a Sunday, and put hand written invites in the children's cubbies. I'm fairly sure I'm covering all my basis this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'll be in this position in a few months, DD's party location has a max # of 20 (there are 15 in DD's class but she has friends in other classes). I'm planning on inviting the children in her room first, then expanding to her friends in other rooms. I also plan on making it very clear on the invite that there is a limit for the party and if they don't RSVP by the date I can't guarantee a spot. Of course I'll also tell them to let me know if they need more time, I understand due to our area people may have plans with out of town and family and what not. I'm a reasonable person, if you communicate.

The previous parent who didn't respond was absolutely in the wrong. She didn't communicate. In this instance unless I see the wording on the invite it could go either way.

OMG, this is going too far. Like I said on a previous email, evites can go astray or into spam. Before you dis-invite children, please contact the parent by an alternate method such as email or phone. Don't assume they will get the invitation before you uninvite them.

Well then no harm. If they never saw the evite they never know they were uninvited. No big deal.

There could still be harm. Like I said, my next door neighbors invited my dd's to their dd's bday party. We never got the evite. I don't know why. If they had not followed up through another method of communication, they could have assumed that we were being rude. There could have been hurt feelings all around.

[Anonymous]

OP needs to deal with the very real possibility that someone shows up who hasn't rsvp. This has happened to me a bunch of times. Why? Because life happens and it's more important to me about a child's feelings than my being annoyed at a mom. OP will you throw out the child who shows up. What is your plan? This is why I never have a b list. I invite who I invite and I don't have goody bags that are so important that having a few extra will get me all upset. Relax Chillax

[Anonymous]

Op, did you out an RSVP deadline date on your evite?