irritated - rsvp 24 hours in advance of the birthday
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Anonymous
Exactly what I was thinking. Can't win on DCUM. |
Anonymous
| The problem is evites and email and also the enormous amount of activities going on from work stuff, fundraisers, sports, school, parties, etc. My phone is clogged with emails. They just keep coming all day long that if I don't respond right away it goes to the back of my brain. I do think it is rude to not respond or respond late but it happens. When I organze anything from sports banquets to coaches gifts to parties to carpool for groups I am always surprised how slow response is. But I understand because I have email and activity overload also. |
Anonymous
| The truth is that pump it up actually had pretty big capacity- I think a party can have a max of like 30 (or more) kids. So if it's a matter of not wanting to pay for extra kids, it looks a little ungracious (even though the late RSVPer is in the wrong). |
Anonymous
OP here - I know. Someone on dcum is always willing to give a counter point. Anyways, I went to great lengths to organize a nice party at a nice place with a nice activity. There is a limit. I can't help that. I invited only as many as I could accommodate. I also had no addreses, as we just started public school and the directory arrived home last week. As it is, it was next to impossible to even get emails... I want all the kids to have a nice time and for all of them to take home the same nice goody bag. And I don't want to upset/annoy/piss off the party location with unexpected guests. So it's just a little frustrating when other families don't respect the same values - I do find it weird that they checked the evite and got the Reminders and only decided to come a day in advance - it does seem like prior plans fell through. I also don't see why I should leave any spaces open - why not invite sibs or DD's sib's friends instead of just waiting and hoping kids come? I never had anything like this happen at our preschool - I wonder if people are more polite when they're paying to be part of a community? I agree that evite should allow you to have a last date by which RSVPs are accepted. |
Anonymous
OP here - the party is not at pump it up. I do not have hts option for paying for extra guests. The location had a hard limit based on their capacity and the activity. |
Anonymous
| OP you are not nice. Who cares if you are right. It is about little kids not the parents. If you want to ice the parent out then fine but not kids. It is mean and you know it. I am amazed at your having a b list. Everytime I have a party I assume there will be later responders and they usually are. Is it annoying..sure but I care about the children. |
Anonymous
| DCUM always so fucking contrary. The prior thread of another OP being uninvited has the consensus that that OP was in the wrong but in this thread, OP is in the wrong? Stfu with that bs. |
Anonymous
| Why didn't you just ask them if they were coming before dropping them? Do you not know them? You sort of suck,OP. |
Anonymous
Huh? Never uninvite anyone. That's the rule. |
Anonymous
I think the late-responders should not have put you in this position. Let's face it: you can see when someone views an evite. They should be organized enough to check their calendar when they view it, and reply yes or no right then. If they don't so that, it's likely they're waiting to see if something better materializes, or they're overly self-important and think basic etiquette doesn't apply to them. There's no reason to leave spaces for non-responders. Next time just delete them from the evite after the RSVP deadline. |
Anonymous
It's a kid's party, OP. No one cares about your fancy goody bags. You really need a life. |
Anonymous
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For our party, I used evite. I had a deadline. A week before, I sent a reminder via e-vite. 2 days before I had to give the venue a final headcount (they charged extra per person), I individually emailed or FB PMed those who had not responded (there were either 3 or 4 out of 11 households) and informed them that the venue had a deadline when I had to give a head count and I could not guarantee they could come if they didn't let me know. I was planning on calling the parents of those who didn't respond on the last day if they didn't respond to the email/PM but they all RSVPed by the date.
At that point, if someone ignored an evite (and all the parents apologized, said they had seen it but got busy or had to check with family, etc), ignored a email/PM and ignored a phone call, then I really don't feel the obligation to include the child. The parent will have to apologize to the child for screwing up and make it up to their child somehow. I get it...I'm busy too, but at a certain point parents who were special snowflakes growing up have to finally take a little personal responsibility and be an adult. |
Anonymous
This OP didn't contact them beyond evite. |
Anonymous
And both can be wrong. As a host and as a guest there are courtesies and etiquette that guide what you should do to ensure the best result. Both sides should bend over backwards to be considerate. There is an area of overlap where both sides have not done enough to ensure a polite interaction. In the previous post, the other OP should not have assumed there was space at the last minute, but should have been gracious and asked if there was space and if there was not to be apologetic for not responding and then admitted to her child that she screwed up and made it up to her child. In this case, the OP should have made allowances. While I understand inviting other B-list children to the party, I would have left one or two spaces open for a last minute response. You ask the venue in advance what the policies are for exceeding the limits and plan accordingly to leave a space or two available. So, yes, both OP's were in the wrong. |
Anonymous
Thereby reinforcing the behavior of parents who are too self-absorbed or scattered to RSVP on time. |