irritated - rsvp 24 hours in advance of the birthday

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm glad I read this thread and am making a mental note to never throw one of my kid's parties at a place that had a max head count, because I would never turn away another child from a birthday celebration.

Me neither. And they DID RSVP before the party. OP, you suck.

Yes lets penalize a poor child. Good stuff OP

[Anonymous]

You don't suck OP.

Manners are important.

[Anonymous]

You are rude to delete them from your list, because you did not set a deadline for the RSVP. Next time, set a deadline. Those who do not respond after are dropped.

If you do not set an RSVP deadline, they are in their rights to respond up to the last minute.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I did set a firm RSVP deadline that also went out by evite twice. The parent in question checked the evite quite a while ago, so it's not as if the email went into junk.

I sent a nice email to both parebts apologizing and explaining that I filled extra spots with neighbor children and that I would love to do a playdate sometime - yesterday afternoon. No reply. Now, I'm scrambling for goody bags. I ordered really nice items and custom made a goody bag in the birthday theme. The left over ones will be noticeably different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are rude to delete them from your list, because you did not set a deadline for the RSVP. Next time, set a deadline. Those who do not respond after are dropped.

If you do not set an RSVP deadline, they are in their rights to respond up to the last minute.

Rights? This is not about rights. This is about who's a rude fuck and who isn't.

The OP does not seem to be a rude fuck.

But you might be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I did set a firm RSVP deadline that also went out by evite twice. The parent in question checked the evite quite a while ago, so it's not as if the email went into junk.

I sent a nice email to both parebts apologizing and explaining that I filled extra spots with neighbor children and that I would love to do a playdate sometime - yesterday afternoon. No reply. Now, I'm scrambling for goody bags. I ordered really nice items and custom made a goody bag in the birthday theme. The left over ones will be noticeably different.

Do you really expect a response? I can't imagine that they will want their child to do a playdate with yours. I'd also be interested to see how other parents react to you after word gets around about this. Really can't imagine uninviting a child because a parent forgot to RSVP and only in DCUM land would people be ok with it.

[Anonymous]

I swear there was a thread like this a few weeks ago from the other side and OP was completely attacked. Now this OP is being attacked. Can't win!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I did set a firm RSVP deadline that also went out by evite twice. The parent in question checked the evite quite a while ago, so it's not as if the email went into junk.

I sent a nice email to both parebts apologizing and explaining that I filled extra spots with neighbor children and that I would love to do a playdate sometime - yesterday afternoon. No reply. Now, I'm scrambling for goody bags. I ordered really nice items and custom made a goody bag in the birthday theme. The left over ones will be noticeably different.

You did the right thing.

I wouldn't expect them to respond for a playdate. I am wiling to be they were waiting to see if a "better offer" was going to pan out and when it didn't they figured oh well we will just go to the party. Next time, they will know better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I did set a firm RSVP deadline that also went out by evite twice. The parent in question checked the evite quite a while ago, so it's not as if the email went into junk.

I sent a nice email to both parebts apologizing and explaining that I filled extra spots with neighbor children and that I would love to do a playdate sometime - yesterday afternoon. No reply. Now, I'm scrambling for goody bags. I ordered really nice items and custom made a goody bag in the birthday theme. The left over ones will be noticeably different.

Do you really expect a response? I can't imagine that they will want their child to do a playdate with yours. I'd also be interested to see how other parents react to you after word gets around about this. Really can't imagine uninviting a child because a parent forgot to RSVP and only in DCUM land would people be ok with it.

It's so weird how many posters are nearly apoplectic at the idea of OP not accommodating people who didn't RSVP in time, but who don't seem to think that the non-responding parents are in any way responsible for answering the Evite. Where's the ire for the parents who can't get their shit together enough to click "Yes" in an email?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are rude to delete them from your list, because you did not set a deadline for the RSVP. Next time, set a deadline. Those who do not respond after are dropped.

If you do not set an RSVP deadline, they are in their rights to respond up to the last minute.

Rights? This is not about rights. This is about who's a rude fuck and who isn't.

The OP does not seem to be a rude fuck.

But you might be.

People who write "rude fuck" are rude.

[Anonymous]

Evites are for the poors. I prefer proper paper invitations.

[Anonymous]

I sent a nice email to both parebts apologizing and explaining that I filled extra spots with neighbor children and that I would love to do a playdate sometime - yesterday afternoon. No reply.

If I got an email like the one you described, I wouldn't respond until I was ready to set up a play date. Not because I was mad, but because that's the next step in the social interaction. But if I hadn't RSVPed to a party by the deadline set by the host, or shortly thereafter, I would not be planning on going to the party and the RSVP "no" would have slipped my mind.

[Anonymous]

If you invite people you know, you can pick up the phone and have a conversation.

[Anonymous]

That's my beef with Evite - it should have an option to close RSVPs after the deadline. OP, I don't blame you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I swear there was a thread like this a few weeks ago from the other side and OP was completely attacked. Now this OP is being attacked. Can't win!

Yes there was! And I'm with OP on this one.
Our upcoming party at a bounce house place has a max but I'm well under it so I don't mind if those two non-RSVP families show up. But I have hit the limit before so I see where OP is coming from.