I highly doubt that just because a toddler occasionally throws toys and hits means that she's a "bully in the making." She's being a toddler. And fyi, whenever I saw her hit or throw toys at my mother, I stepped in and gave her clear limits and told her it was unacceptable. |
You need to teach your kid to behave better. No way in my house would a kid throw toys or hit. My sister used to get away with that shit with my grandmother and as an adult she is beyond self-centered. Yeah, we don't hit, but in some cultures it happens. Your kid and mother both sound out of control. |
She's going to be a bully or a person who is a pain in another way. Step it up. Your kid would not be allowed to play with my kid. |
If your mother has shown the beginnings of dementia, she cannot be alone with your child. Even if you just have a mother's helper around with her, you need to have someone else there. |
I think the posts a few up from this where the person points out some of the dangers of early dementia made a lot of sense and would be the dealbreaker for me in letting my mother care for my daughter. I actually thought your post prior to this one, about backing up your daughter in her feeling unsafe with someone made a lot of sense. It's nice that they want to spend time together, but realistically that time needs to be supervised to ensure they, especially your mother, are acting appropriately, and it doesn't sound like you will be able to supervise such visits right now with baby number two appearing any day. Good luck, OP. |
Exactly! |
OP, I feel for you. My two cents, from this removed position of limited information, is that if your mother and your toddler are essentially exhibiting the same problematic behaviors in temperament then this is not a reliable, stressfree, childcare solution. Please try to summon your energy and find other options. Neighborhood listserv? Friends for the short term? Mother's helper? Give it a shot. I don't think you'll feel really relaxed or comfortable if you leave your mother in charge at this point (understandably and appropriately). The gals can have a relationship that isn't one you have to depend on for childcare. Good luck. |