I'm very attracted to my boss. Please give me reasons not to have an affair

[Anonymous]

If nothing else, just think of how he'll rate your performance review this year!

[Anonymous]

NP, and after reading some of OP's responses I don't believe for a second that she is really in this situation - I think whoever it is is just bored and enjoying egging us on. But I will say that I've enjoyed some of the responses, some of you guys are really funny! Most I think intended to be so, and maybe a few didn't but still funny!

I say: let OP make a ridiculous mistake. If she's really this dumb, let her make it, screw up everything, suffer for it, and regret it. She certainly canNOT say she wasn't warned!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
If nothing else, just think of how he'll rate your performance review this year!

Yeah, what if OP sucks in bed? Or what if her boss is into kinky crazy stuff and rates her poorly for not going along with it? All possibilities for sure.

[Anonymous]

OP - you still haven't done it? All talk and no action? Get it over with girl!

[Anonymous]

I agree. Sounds like a troll.

[Anonymous]

I've had several women who were more junior seem to give me some signals they were interested. I ignored it, but if I had, I would never have respected them again. Don't do it as people talk and you don't want this to define your career.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Reasons not to have an affair? Same as always - you're not a faithless oathbreaker. Don't like your husband? Deal with that. Either fix the problem or end the marriage.

OP here again. Apparently I cannot fix the problem, and I don't want to screw up my kids' lives just because their dad and I are more like roommates now. Equally, I don't want to screw up my boss' family either, or destroy another women's sense of security (her happiness is already compromised, I am sure).

Btw, my husband would have nothing at all against me having affairs. He has his own. So the "breaking-the-wow"-part is not a problem at all.

I haven't read the whole thread, but had to chime in.

First, living like roommates IS screwing up your kids' lives. Sorry, but it's true. Hey, no one has the perfect childhood. If you and dh can't work it out, you should divorce. I do not say that lightly, but kids need happy parents. Whatever happens in a child's life is what they grow up considering to be normal. What you are giving them is a fucked up vision of marriage. Better to have no marriage and happy parents who live apart. Would you want your kids to have a marriage like yours? Because that is the likely outcome here.

And as for your boss, as someone who has been fucking their boss for a little while now, let me tell you why you should not do it. Number one, when you stop wanting to do it but boss still wants to, that gets awkward and can even make you afraid to break it off because you don't know whether he'll fire you. When you take away sex from a man, especially good sex, which illicit sex always is, they tend to get pissed. Plus, your coworkers will probably find out. And, when/if you leave the job, this guy is going to have to be a reference, right? Better to be a woman he wishes he'd slept with than one that dumped him when someone calls him for a reference.

[Anonymous]

Why are so many people saying that the OP's career will be in jeopardy? She will actually be considered a victim of harassment, and she can file a lawsuit against her boss who forced her into the affair. The boss has all the power, and a poor victim was so scared of losing her job that she had to agree to an affair. That's how it works.

I observed 2 affairs at my previous job, where 2 male bosses had affairs with their female subordinates, all of them being married. Once the issues got brought to the surface, both guys were fired on the spot. However, the company would never mess up with the "victims", the females kept their jobs and chose not to quit. Both guys found awesome jobs afterwards (one of them could be your own boss, you never know). They would never disclose the real reason why they quit their previous job, and HR of the previous employer wouldn't disclose as well. One lady eventually changed jobs, and she is now a director at a well-known company, so she may be the boss of one of the readers as well. And you wouldn't know that because again, she'll never share that story. So from my observation, even though both guys got fired, all 4 of these individuals are still having very successful careers.