Black-tie wedding - how to afford?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good grief - This is a family member - not a fashion show. Go in clothes you can afford and in which you are comfortable. Get a dress from your favorite store and have your husband wear a dark suite/bow tie. No one is going to look at your outfits. I know that showers are a little funny because a bunch of high rolling friends show up, but you have to remember that odd relatives show up at the wedding in the same terrible clothes that they wear to every wedding (my uncle Bob has a worn the same blue suite to the last ten weddings! Everyone has an uncle Bob).

Same thing with your gift - a registration is not a request for items. It is just a list of suggested gifts to show what the couple likes/needs. Give whatever you are comfortable giving and like. My favorite gifts from my wedding were all off the registration because they are so interesting, unique and thoughtful.

seriously. and also, showers are the worst.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, since you asked. I'n the type of bride you speak of. We want you to be there. Just be respectful, and do the best you can.

If you show up in a casual outfit with an F.U. attitude, we will know and we will remember this. In no way is this a gift grab, we have everything we need! Please, don't fuss, just be respectful and have fun. That is all we ask.

I like the dark suit idea. For crying out loud, borrow a friends long dress, or go to a department store and buy something on sale that fits you well. And some unscuffed shoes that match.

No one is going to know, unless you have this uneasy, "why are we even here" look on your face when you show up. Please don't do that. Be gracious, inclusive, happy, personable, positive, and have fun. Guests will remember you for that, and I will too! "Who was that wonderful lady dancing her heart out..."

If you make a big "to do" about things, we will assume you really don't want to go, and in that case, would rather you did not. "Who was that sourpuss wearing capri pants...."

Since you asked. And I wish more people did!

You sound fun.

Excuse me, I need to get a knife to pry my eyeballs off the tops of my sockets. They're really stuck.

+1 million!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dress Barn. I've purchased dresses from here and gotten tons of compliments. All the time actually. Shoes and jewelry, no...but the dresses are usually $50 and you don't wear the price tag on the outside. Or go to the outlets in Leesburg. Also second the suggestion for Nordstrom Rack. Macy's with a coupon. Most of standard dressy dresses are $150 to start. Go w/a coupon and there are always tons of dresses on sale already.

Isn't that basically what PP that everyone is ripping on said?

Um, no. I highlighted the disgusting parts of her post, just so you don't miss them:

OP, since you asked. I'n the type of bride you speak of. We want you to be there. Just be respectful, and do the best you can.

If you show up in a casual outfit with an F.U. attitude, we will know and we will remember this. In no way is this a gift grab, we have everything we need! Please, don't fuss, just be respectful and have fun. That is all we ask.

I like the dark suit idea. For crying out loud, borrow a friends long dress, or go to a department store and buy something on sale that fits you well. And some unscuffed shoes that match.

No one is going to know, unless you have this uneasy, "why are we even here" look on your face when you show up. Please don't do that. Be gracious, inclusive, happy, personable, positive, and have fun. Guests will remember you for that, and I will too! "Who was that wonderful lady dancing her heart out..."

If you make a big "to do" about things, we will assume you really don't want to go, and in that case, would rather you did not. "Who was that sourpuss wearing capri pants...."

Since you asked. And I wish more people did!


Bitch.

Signed,

I call EVERY Bride Bridezilla because my life sucks.

I didn't call her a bridezilla. I called her a bitch. And there's a difference. Her bitchiness will far outlive her wedding. Interesting that you capitalize the word bride. I wonder why.

Signed, normal person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, since you asked. I'n the type of bride you speak of. We want you to be there. Just be respectful, and do the best you can.

If you show up in a casual outfit with an F.U. attitude, we will know and we will remember this. In no way is this a gift grab, we have everything we need! Please, don't fuss, just be respectful and have fun. That is all we ask.

I like the dark suit idea. For crying out loud, borrow a friends long dress, or go to a department store and buy something on sale that fits you well. And some unscuffed shoes that match.

No one is going to know, unless you have this uneasy, "why are we even here" look on your face when you show up. Please don't do that. Be gracious, inclusive, happy, personable, positive, and have fun. Guests will remember you for that, and I will too! "Who was that wonderful lady dancing her heart out..."

If you make a big "to do" about things, we will assume you really don't want to go, and in that case, would rather you did not. "Who was that sourpuss wearing capri pants...."

Since you asked. And I wish more people did!

how many times have you been a bride? you sound like quite the expert

[Anonymous]

I had a really, really, nice wedding.

I also happen to go to a ton of black tie events and donate the ball gowns and long, ornate (some not so ornate) dresses regularly. They are all beautiful, pricey, and something I think OP might enjoy.

In fact, I would bet some of the snarky people on here go and scoop them up to try to resell them, which is their business, I suppose; but then it leaves much less for people like OP.

I don't consign, because really, it is pennies on the dollar, and I don't have the time for that.

Haters gonna hate, OP. Go and enjoy yourself. Make them a present, or buy something you enjoy that you think they will use. It does not have to be money or pricey - who said it has to be money or pricey?

[Anonymous]

11:52 and 11:54 are the same person, and BOY are they bitter.

OP, try to overlook the bitter ones. This is true not only for attending the wedding, but for life in general.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, since you asked. I'n the type of bride you speak of. We want you to be there. Just be respectful, and do the best you can.

If you show up in a casual outfit with an F.U. attitude, we will know and we will remember this. In no way is this a gift grab, we have everything we need! Please, don't fuss, just be respectful and have fun. That is all we ask.

I like the dark suit idea. For crying out loud, borrow a friends long dress, or go to a department store and buy something on sale that fits you well. And some unscuffed shoes that match.

No one is going to know, unless you have this uneasy, "why are we even here" look on your face when you show up. Please don't do that. Be gracious, inclusive, happy, personable, positive, and have fun. Guests will remember you for that, and I will too! "Who was that wonderful lady dancing her heart out..."

If you make a big "to do" about things, we will assume you really don't want to go, and in that case, would rather you did not. "Who was that sourpuss wearing capri pants...."

Since you asked. And I wish more people did!

how many times have you been a bride? you sound like quite the expert

10,0000. The grooms are all buried in my basement. Maybe I'll do the same to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You could also go to the Torpedo Factory or something and get them a unique, handmade piece of pottery or something. Definitely less than $100.

+1

one of our most loved wedding gifts (15 years later) was a small painting that was very relevant to us. maybe find something that relates to them somehow? wedding location?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:11:52 and 11:54 are the same person, and BOY are they bitter.

OP, try to overlook the bitter ones. This is true not only for attending the wedding, but for life in general.

Nope. I just don't like condescending people. And that was the pillar of it. That doesn't make me bitter. I'm not at all bitter. I just don't like people acting like their shit don't stink because they have money. It's rude. And to use her words, "we will notice."

[Anonymous]

Check TJMaxx or Marshall's for a formal dress. This time of year they have more of them and they will be well under $150.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:11:52 and 11:54 are the same person, and BOY are they bitter.

OP, try to overlook the bitter ones. This is true not only for attending the wedding, but for life in general.

Nope. I just don't like condescending people. And that was the pillar of it. That doesn't make me bitter. I'm not at all bitter. I just don't like people acting like their shit don't stink because they have money. It's rude. And to use her words, "we will notice."

OP here is the lesson: you learn a lot about people at weddings, births and funerals.

Go and enjoy yourself, they want you there!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't give a gift card or cash--give a gift on their registry that costs $200 or less or another (similar) gift you find on sale somewhere. Giving them cash or a gift card is just calling attention to the amount. If you need to decrease the amount you spend on the gift in order to keep your budget intact, I would do it--just don't give cash!!!

I actually feel the exact opposite. I frequently give gift cards to the store where the registry is. Almost all companies that host registries give a discount to those registering after the event. For example, wedding couples often can buy any items remaining of their registry after the wedding for 10% off. So, a gift card to the store with the registry can often buy more than the face value due to the discount. When we got married 12 years ago, we were able to use the gift cards we received, pool them together and with the 10% discount, we were able to buy the rest of the items that we wanted off of the registry (there were a couple of items that we registered for, that we realized after the wedding that we probably wouldn't use even though we liked the items) without spending a cent out of pocket. That was wonderful and we noted that in the thank you cards to those people, that they helped us buy out the items on the registry after the wedding.

[Anonymous]

If couples register for something big, it is usually with the expectation that the family members, one side or the other, or both sides - will go in on it together. I have never seen a couple ask for a large gift with the expectation that any one person would by it.

I did see a couple ask for a video camera, before they were common (before cell phones were common!) - because a parent was dying and they wanted to interview the parent in case the parent was not alive after the honeymoon. The parent had a remarkable and unusual story to tell. They thought, since they had multiple siblings on each side, that the siblings would go in together, and they did! I thought this was a nice story to share, because it has a happy ending.

Not everyone expects big gifts - in fact, I bet they have everything they need in this day and age, OP.

People that gripe about weddings usually had an awful one, themselves. Don't let them phase you, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:11:52 and 11:54 are the same person, and BOY are they bitter.

OP, try to overlook the bitter ones. This is true not only for attending the wedding, but for life in general.

Nope. I just don't like condescending people. And that was the pillar of it. That doesn't make me bitter. I'm not at all bitter. I just don't like people acting like their shit don't stink because they have money. It's rude. And to use her words, "we will notice."

You sound classy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:11:52 and 11:54 are the same person, and BOY are they bitter.

OP, try to overlook the bitter ones. This is true not only for attending the wedding, but for life in general.

Nope. I just don't like condescending people. And that was the pillar of it. That doesn't make me bitter. I'm not at all bitter. I just don't like people acting like their shit don't stink because they have money. It's rude. And to use her words, "we will notice."

OP here is the lesson: you learn a lot about people at weddings, births and funerals.

Go and enjoy yourself, they want you there!

Only if you're respectful, show gratitude, and wear matching shoes! And no capri pants FFS.