Black-tie wedding - how to afford?

[Anonymous]

from readers digest: BLACK TIE
Less dressy than white tie, but still pretty formal, and usually reserved for evening affairs

• Women: Wear a floor-length evening gown, a knee-length dress with heels, or your dressiest black dress. Dressy separates, like a knee-length skirt and shell set, also work.

Read more: http://www.rd.com/health/beauty/dress-codes-defined-2/#ixzz3EFEidepN


from wiki: Women's dress for black tie occasions has varied greatly through the years; traditionally it was:

Evening shoes
Dinner (ankle) or tea (below mid-calf) length sleeveless evening gown, often accompanied by:
A wrap or stole and
Gloves

Today women's dress for black tie occasions is:

Evening shoes and
A cocktail (knee) length dress.

[Anonymous]

You could absolutely wear a classic knee length black dress to a black tie event. Very easy to glam this up with jewelry, hair, shoes etc:

http://assets.macys.com/navapp/web20/assets/script/scene7/core/images/spacer.gif

[Anonymous]

We had a blacktie wedding. Some of DH's relatives came in suits instead. We didn't care. WE knew they were from more modest means and an area of the country where black tie was outside the norm. No big deal. As for wedding gifts, giving cash is what is tacky, not the amount. Do not give cash. Buy them a beautiful gift after the wedding and wrap it and drop it by their house. It is perfectly appropriate to do this up to 12 months after the wedding. Go to a web site like "One Kings Lane" or "Joss & Main," buy a really nice tray or neutral serving piece or prettv throw at a great price and don't worry about spending $200. Its not the amount you spend, its the thought and it takes a lot more time and effort to give a beautiful gift than cash anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You could absolutely wear a classic knee length black dress to a black tie event. Very easy to glam this up with jewelry, hair, shoes etc:

http://assets.macys.com/navapp/web20/assets/script/scene7/core/images/spacer.gif

http://resources.shopstyle.com/sim/69/8c/698cef6ed84ad191ef8860f0907fde6f/lauren-ralph-lauren-one-shoulder-jersey-sheath-dress.jpg

[Anonymous]

I haven't read all the responses but for the gifts, you can totally give them something small. We registered for expensive china and silver and crystal but I did not care if people gave me small gifts that were not those expensive things. One of DH's cousins was in grad school with little kids and they gave us dish towels and silicone spatulas from Williams Sonoma and I thought it was great. No one who is a kind person is judging you for how much you spend on their wedding gift. And if they are, then they are jerks.

[Anonymous]

Also, on the black tie - I've been to lots of black tie events, weddings and otherwise. There is always a range of dress, especially often you see short cocktail dresses. Very easy for a woman NOT to buy a long formal dress for black tie. Also agree DH can wear black suit. Maybe buy tuxedo-type tie but black suit is fine. Do not stress.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:www.renttherunway.com

stop bitching. if you don't want to attend don't attend. stop making up excuses.

I have a very hard time figuring out what's going to fit well based on sizes and measurements. Even shoes often don't fit me right, forget about formal dresses (which always, but always need alterations - which you're not allowed to do with RTR dresses.) So rent the runway is not the answer for all of us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:from readers digest: BLACK TIE
Less dressy than white tie, but still pretty formal, and usually reserved for evening affairs

• Women: Wear a floor-length evening gown, a knee-length dress with heels, or your dressiest black dress. Dressy separates, like a knee-length skirt and shell set, also work.

Read more: http://www.rd.com/health/beauty/dress-codes-defined-2/#ixzz3EFEidepN


from wiki: Women's dress for black tie occasions has varied greatly through the years; traditionally it was:

Evening shoes
Dinner (ankle) or tea (below mid-calf) length sleeveless evening gown, often accompanied by:
A wrap or stole and
Gloves

Today women's dress for black tie occasions is:

Evening shoes and
A cocktail (knee) length dress.

I would def. wear a fancy pantsuit then. I object to anything requiring a woman to wear a skirt or dress. How backasswards!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

you and your post reek of obnoxious judgment. i'd hate to be your 'friend' or someone that invited you to a wedding. basically, you suck and sound like the kind of person who just wants to bitch about something, always.

-guess what, newsflash: weddings cost guests money, in some way or another. whether it's for the gift, gas to get there, plane ticket, hotel, or a dress. it costs money.
-how do you not own a single long dress?
-if you spent the $25 to buy a single long black dress....GASP....you would never have to worry about buying another long dress again, and thus you'd have a go-to dress for just about any semiformal/formal event in the future.
-i felt honored to attend my friends' weddings. no, they were not a state dinner or the oscars, but they were important days for my friends, and thus, for me too. i'm proud to attend my friends' weddings, casual or black tie, b/c i'm there to support them.
-i feel sorry for your DH. you sound like an icy wench.

I don't own any long dresses. In fact, I have never owned, or even worn, a long dress. I've never been invited to any occasion where I needed a long dress.

Apparently there are two types of people.

1) Those who think black tie is fun, an excuse to break out your gorgeous dresses or, even better, an excuse to go shopping for a new gorgeous dress.

and

2) Those who find the black tie request to be confusing (if "black tie" means what the PP above says it means, then honestly I don't understand the difference between a black tie wedding and a non-black tie evening wedding) and stressful.

I think the first group has trouble understanding the second and underestimates how large the second group actually is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ok everyone forget the long dresses. you mean to tell me that you don't own a very simple, well cut, classic knee length black dress that can be dressed up with jewelry, pashmina, shoes etc? come on people.

Correct. I do not own such a dress. Also, even if I did own such a dress, I would not wear a black dress to a wedding.

I do not wear black dresses to weddings either. But, you fascinate me. You really don't own a "little black dress"? Do you or have you ever worked outside the home? Have you ever attended a dinner party? A non-black tie wedding? A funeral? Been out to a nice restaurant? What do you wear to those?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:ok everyone forget the long dresses. you mean to tell me that you don't own a very simple, well cut, classic knee length black dress that can be dressed up with jewelry, pashmina, shoes etc? come on people.

Correct. I do not own such a dress. Also, even if I did own such a dress, I would not wear a black dress to a wedding.

I do not wear black dresses to weddings either. But, you fascinate me. You really don't own a "little black dress"? Do you or have you ever worked outside the home? Have you ever attended a dinner party? A non-black tie wedding? A funeral? Been out to a nice restaurant? What do you wear to those?

I'm not PP but I don't own that kind of dress either ... at work I mostly wear separates, like a skirt or pants, nicer top and a cardigan or jacket. I don't wear black to weddings; if I am going somewhere nicer I wear color. I do own a dark purple dress, a blue dress, and a few print dresses. Haven't been to a funeral in years but to me little black dress implies sexy, and thus inappropriate for a funeral. I don't dress sexy in general for a variety of reasons.

[Anonymous]

Apologies for using "little black dress" as shorthand for what the PP termed a "very simple, well cut, classic knee length black dress." I did not mean to imply that a dress like that would be sexy. But you clearly have dresses and the PP does not. I am still wondering what she wears to any of the above events I listed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Apologies for using "little black dress" as shorthand for what the PP termed a "very simple, well cut, classic knee length black dress." I did not mean to imply that a dress like that would be sexy. But you clearly have dresses and the PP does not. I am still wondering what she wears to any of the above events I listed.

NP here who hates dressing up with a passion. I own two dresses: a cheapo black wrap from Target and a nicer flower pattern wrap from banana republic at a consignment store. I will drag them out if I absolutely must and count the seconds until I can take them off.