Is it really a good idea to divorce over non-help with chores? Or should I just let it go?

[Anonymous]

Since it is HIS family visiting, I would say FU%* it and let the house be the way it is. When he gets home, kindly remind him in front of HIS family that he forgot to hold up his end of your bargain, then wink your eye at him. That should get him to clean up.

As for whether this is a deal-breaker for divorcing, since you are on the verge of giving birth, I wouldn't be considering such a huge and life-changing decision at this time in your life. You are bringing a new baby into this world right now and your primary focus should be on this new life right now. It will be tough, but it is necessary to put your marital issues on the back burner right now if you can until things stabilize back to normal.

[Anonymous]

two words for you: housekeeper

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - is your husband the dog walker that makes more working part time than you do at your administrative job working full time?

Yes, I thought this too.

+1

[Anonymous]

Is this you? http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/247233.page

I feel like you post frequently about your husband being a worthless POS

[Anonymous]

Yes OP, divorce him.

Will wait for your new OP a year later asking about why it is so hard to meet eligible men as a single mother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes OP, divorce him.

Will wait for your new OP a year later asking about why it is so hard to meet eligible men as a single mother.

Because the important thing is to be married, right?

[Anonymous]

A lot of you are awfully quick to encourage people to end their marriages. I don't know how seriously people take advice from this place, but remember: it's no skin off your back, but you are sending them into a difficult direction.

As stressed as you are now, going through a divorce and having to split up the kids is going to be harder. A lot of couples with young children go through rough stretches.

You shouldn't have to put with with a selfish husband, but I think it's possible to get him to step up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Number of times DH has called me a bitch: 0
Number of times DH would call me a bitch and walk hunched over for a week: 1
Number of repeat times DH would call me a bitch: 0
WHY do women tolerate letting the men who supposedly love them call them such vile names? I'll never understand it. Grow a spine OP

Number of times DW has called me a jerk: 0
Number of times DW would call me a jerk and walk hunched over for a week: 1
Number of repeat times DW would call me a jerk: 0
WHY do men tolerate letting the women who supposedly love them call them such vile names? I'll never understand it.

Modified slightly to show what a vile post that was.

As for the PP who complains that people are too quick to call for divorces around here, I agree. But, in this case, hoo boy. OP's husband sounds like a real piece of work. From what we've heard here, I'm not sure he's redeemable.

I'm glad OP doesn't trade sex for chores. And I'm also usually a strong advocate of spouses stepping up to make sure their sex lives aren't neglected - but in this case OP seems to be giving far too little respect for her own well-being.

[Anonymous]

In addition to the kneejerk divorce advocates, there are a lot of ppl on here suggesting really juvenile behaviors. Cleaning up dog urine with dress shirts or embarrassing him in front of his family isn't going to establish a mature and cooperative relationship. If OP really is asking for advice, your revenge fantasies aren't helping her.

[Anonymous]

He's very selfish and immature. He takes you for granted and doesn't value or respect you. He manipulates you with his childish and abusive behaviors. I doubt it will get better. I've been with someone like that who did those things you described your husband doing. As hard as it would have been to struggle alone, I wish I'd left years ago.

[Anonymous]

Hilarious thread. Cannot be real. Amazing how many people take time to post serious replies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hilarious thread. Cannot be real. Amazing how many people take time to post serious replies.

I haven't posted before now, but this scenario doesn't seem at all far-fetched or unrealistic. Its not nearly as extreme as family dynamics I'm familiar with.

[Anonymous]

To 6:06-I am sad for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - is your husband the dog walker that makes more working part time than you do at your administrative job working full time?

Yes, I thought this too.

+1

Hi, OP back. No, DH has an IT related company that he started with a friend many years ago.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this you? http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/247233.page

I feel like you post frequently about your husband being a worthless POS

No, not me either, although reading that thread made me feel not so bad - realizing there are a lot of spouses out there who put up with this same kind of crap. I actually do one of the suggestions made in that thread - having a box and just putting all of DH's stuff that he throws on the counter/table/etc. in there.