Is it really a good idea to divorce over non-help with chores? Or should I just let it go?

[Anonymous]

You're husband's an azz and you're a fool. Any person that uses sex or the promise of it in exchange for completing household chores that should already be 50/50 is despicable. It's his family, let him clean! And sorry, but I'd be looking at rehoming the dog ASAP. You've got two children already and another coming any day, who want to have to take care of a dog too?

[Anonymous]

Good l word, OP, hire a maid or MN aid service. Problem solved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good l word, OP, hire a maid or MN aid service. Problem solved.

Should have been,"Good Lord, OP, hire a maid or maid service. Problem solved. Hire neighborhood kid to walk dog.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Good l word, OP, hire a maid or MN aid service. Problem solved.

Oh the problem solved asshole poster.

[Anonymous]

I don't think the sex was inherantly transactional (we have had timea where one of us was interested and the other said, I have to do XYZ" and we agreed to take on someone else's chore to make time for sex). The problem is that he views all chores as your chores.

And yes, OP, many people divorce because they would rather do 100% of everything on their own than do 90% while being treated like the help.

[Anonymous]

Stop cleaning. It's his house, his family, let him clean. Let him deal with the questions from his family about the state of the house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh and tomorrow, get up and get out of the house. Leave a note saying "I'll be back later." Take your pregnant self to a day spa and get a massage, facial and pedicure. Go out to lunch. Sit Ina cafe and read a book.

This.

Stop letting him behave like this.

If his mom asks, tell her the truth

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh and tomorrow, get up and get out of the house. Leave a note saying "I'll be back later." Take your pregnant self to a day spa and get a massage, facial and pedicure. Go out to lunch. Sit Ina cafe and read a book.

Do this. Very good advice. Why should you clean up the house !

[Anonymous]

Oh boy. Good fucking luck when this baby is born. My husband is medium helpful- he won't see the dishes and do them on his own, but if I ask he will. And I still felt like I was drowning when the second came along and he could NOT get his shit together and get in the game with me.

[Anonymous]

I'd say that's the last bj he gets for a long while. What is his general excuse for not helping out? "Lower your standards" is ok to a point, but there is a basic amount of cleanliness and tidiness you can expect. Expecting him to clean up the puddle of dog urine doesn't exactly make you Felix Ungar.

OP, what's the update?

[Anonymous]

Tell him to hire some household help or a divorce attorney.

Don't clean for his family. Take a nap. Don't feel embarrassed by his failings. His mother knows he's a lazy sob.

[Anonymous]

I think both of you are sick. You had sex when you didn't want to bc he said he would clean the house? It seems like you both treat srx as something you should do so he feels good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think the sex was inherantly transactional (we have had timea where one of us was interested and the other said, I have to do XYZ" and we agreed to take on someone else's chore to make time for sex).

If you actually want to have sex, it's a very rare chore that can't wait an hour or 15 minutes or whatever kind of session you're in the mood for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't think the sex was inherantly transactional (we have had timea where one of us was interested and the other said, I have to do XYZ" and we agreed to take on someone else's chore to make time for sex).

If you actually want to have sex, it's a very rare chore that can't wait an hour or 15 minutes or whatever kind of session you're in the mood for.

Did you even read OP's post? Quit being an unhelpful asshole.

[Anonymous]

I would take myself to a hotel or a friend's house for the duration of the IL visit. Let him deal with the kid, his parents, meals, the housework, etc.