Single father boyfriend does not want child with me

[Anonymous]

I always said that if I reached my late 30s and didn't have a child that I would do donor sperm and have one on my own. Are you willing to do that? For me, I would've done it 100% without question. It doesn't sound like you want to do that so I would stick with the guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Damn. Sorry, OP.

I hope you can find someone new.

By the way, you might try leaving DC for an area where you would be more "competitive" on the dating market. This would probably mean settling a bit, but this is what a lot of women in your position do.

It's tough tough to have to go from being chased, and having the luxury of being able to be offended by catcalls, to suddenly feeling like an over the hill third wheel.

I don't think OP expressed that she feels like an "over the hill third wheel".

[Anonymous]

So sorry OP. Sounds like he's not the one for you.

Have you ever thought about fostering? Or even Big Brother/Big Sister? Through my 20's and 30's I had an extremely close relationship with a boy (two years old at the time, now 16) who I met in something similar to Big Brothers/Sisters. He now calls me his godmother. Though I now have a child of my own, he is still a big part of my life and always will be. He is family to me. I guess what I'm trying to say is that if I had not had a child of my own, he would have filled a very large part of that emptiness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always said that if I reached my late 30s and didn't have a child that I would do donor sperm and have one on my own. Are you willing to do that? For me, I would've done it 100% without question. It doesn't sound like you want to do that so I would stick with the guy.

Yeah, if I were in your position I wouldn't wait for a new relationship. If you want a child and are willing to end your relationship to pursue this, then I would do it on your own with donor sperm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - thanks for the advice. This posting and the replies and advice I received here made me reconsider the whole relationship and whether it is good. Last night, my boyfriend admitted that if his ex-wife called him and said she'd made a mistake in ending their marriage, that he'd go back to her, particularly since they have a child together. So, I don't even have the kind of loyalty or care that one needs to sustain a relationship, let alone a marriage and a child with this man. And yes, it is not all about me, and life is not fair, but everyone in a decent committed relationship deserves trust.

Just read this. So sorry, OP. I would go for the child on your own. Best of luck!

[Anonymous]

OP, I am so sorry. That must have been a terribly difficult conversation to have. For what it's worth, you sound like a wonderfully thoughtful person. I think you would make a great mother and you should consider forging ahead on your own. Sending you the best and warmest wishes.