Is it right to cheat if you get cheated on?

[Anonymous]

Man here, yes absolutely I would cheat if she did. Monogamy sucks enough as is. No way she gets to have fun and I don't.

Actually, not sure I would be that devastated if she cheated, but I would probably feign it simply to get the hall pass. That I would use constantly but not confess until she caught me.

Seems worth the trade, and now I hope I catch her cheating!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't, because I have no interest in being in a relationship where we retaliate against each other. I'd just divorce.

Then he'll cheat again. It will go on and on. Not a solution.

I said I'd divorce, so how exactly would he be cheating on me?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't, because I have no interest in being in a relationship where we retaliate against each other. I'd just divorce.

Then he'll cheat again. It will go on and on. Not a solution.

I said I'd divorce, so how exactly would he be cheating on me?

I was agreeing with you while stating what would happen with their marriage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man here, yes absolutely I would cheat if she did. Monogamy sucks enough as is. No way she gets to have fun and I don't.

Actually, not sure I would be that devastated if she cheated, but I would probably feign it simply to get the hall pass. That I would use constantly but not confess until she caught me.

Seems worth the trade, and now I hope I catch her cheating!

Wouldn't it be easier to be single and date?

That's one of the reasons I wouldn't cheat, merely end it. However, I would mess with their job, etc. and other AP's life before my exit. People that find it fun and cute to hurt families should be ok when the favor is returned.

[Anonymous]

The question is, do you have individual integrity and values apart from the actions of others? Or is it only predicated on the good behavior of others?

My spouse cheated so I get it. But, in my personal view, I made a commitment, I said the vows, I have a set of values that would mean I never, ever cheat. The actions of DH do not undermine those values.

[Anonymous]

It's only right if you're unattractive without makeup, overweight and have a chance to sleep with Bon Jovi after paying for backstage VIP. If all is true - I'd say go for it.

[Anonymous]

Cheaters hate thinking about this-- but many people would not cheat under any circumstances, because it is wrong. You either are one of those people or you're not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't, because I have no interest in being in a relationship where we retaliate against each other. I'd just divorce.

Then he'll cheat again. It will go on and on. Not a solution.

I said I'd divorce, so how exactly would he be cheating on me?

I was agreeing with you while stating what would happen with their marriage.

Gotcha. Totally agree.

Marriage ends up failing anyway, not going to ruin my character over some cheating loser.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here, yes absolutely I would cheat if she did. Monogamy sucks enough as is. No way she gets to have fun and I don't.

Actually, not sure I would be that devastated if she cheated, but I would probably feign it simply to get the hall pass. That I would use constantly but not confess until she caught me.

Seems worth the trade, and now I hope I catch her cheating!

Wouldn't it be easier to be single and date?

That's one of the reasons I wouldn't cheat, merely end it. However, I would mess with their job, etc. and other AP's life before my exit. People that find it fun and cute to hurt families should be ok when the favor is returned.

And lose access to my kids and half my wealth? Nah, not worth it. Happy to stay married, and get some on the side. Assuming she goes first. It's just sex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here, yes absolutely I would cheat if she did. Monogamy sucks enough as is. No way she gets to have fun and I don't.

Actually, not sure I would be that devastated if she cheated, but I would probably feign it simply to get the hall pass. That I would use constantly but not confess until she caught me.

Seems worth the trade, and now I hope I catch her cheating!

Wouldn't it be easier to be single and date?

That's one of the reasons I wouldn't cheat, merely end it. However, I would mess with their job, etc. and other AP's life before my exit. People that find it fun and cute to hurt families should be ok when the favor is returned.

And lose access to my kids and half my wealth? Nah, not worth it. Happy to stay married, and get some on the side. Assuming she goes first. It's just sex.

+1

I feel like a lot of PPs here have only been married a few years and have this idealistic view of things. I remember those days *sigh*

Now that i've got some years of marriage and experience under my belt, its easier to step back as see the bigger picture. I'd prefer to see my kids daily and keep the combined wealth and our house with a great school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here, yes absolutely I would cheat if she did. Monogamy sucks enough as is. No way she gets to have fun and I don't.

Actually, not sure I would be that devastated if she cheated, but I would probably feign it simply to get the hall pass. That I would use constantly but not confess until she caught me.

Seems worth the trade, and now I hope I catch her cheating!

Wouldn't it be easier to be single and date?

That's one of the reasons I wouldn't cheat, merely end it. However, I would mess with their job, etc. and other AP's life before my exit. People that find it fun and cute to hurt families should be ok when the favor is returned.

And lose access to my kids and half my wealth? Nah, not worth it. Happy to stay married, and get some on the side. Assuming she goes first. It's just sex.

+1

I feel like a lot of PPs here have only been married a few years and have this idealistic view of things. I remember those days *sigh*

Now that i've got some years of marriage and experience under my belt, its easier to step back as see the bigger picture. I'd prefer to see my kids daily and keep the combined wealth and our house with a great school.

PP here... to add, in this make-believe scenario, if I were ever to get caught revenge cheating I would always say the OM is bigger. Just to eff with him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man here, yes absolutely I would cheat if she did. Monogamy sucks enough as is. No way she gets to have fun and I don't.

Actually, not sure I would be that devastated if she cheated, but I would probably feign it simply to get the hall pass. That I would use constantly but not confess until she caught me.

Seems worth the trade, and now I hope I catch her cheating!

Wouldn't it be easier to be single and date?

That's one of the reasons I wouldn't cheat, merely end it. However, I would mess with their job, etc. and other AP's life before my exit. People that find it fun and cute to hurt families should be ok when the favor is returned.

And lose access to my kids and half my wealth? Nah, not worth it. Happy to stay married, and get some on the side. Assuming she goes first. It's just sex.

+1

I feel like a lot of PPs here have only been married a few years and have this idealistic view of things. I remember those days *sigh*

Now that i've got some years of marriage and experience under my belt, its easier to step back as see the bigger picture. I'd prefer to see my kids daily and keep the combined wealth and our house with a great school.[u]

PP here... to add, in this make-believe scenario, if I were ever to get caught revenge cheating I would always say the OM is bigger. Just to eff with him.

I think you, PP and I and others are in the silent majority here. Not that cheating is ok, but after years of marriage and kids and joint bank and retirement accounts and years of shared history, and caring for each other, well....cheating just doesn't seem to be the END OF THE WORLD/ABUSE/GASLIGHTING/REVENGE that dominates the board.

And yes, the OM was bigger and hit a spot he hasn't/couldn't. Looked just like my ex.

[Anonymous]

This thread is getting odder and odder...if that’s even possible.

[Anonymous]

It depends on the situation.

I have a friend whose husband cheated on her with more than 5 women in the same year(and she has learned that he has slept with many more, even in their home).

The marriage is definitely over. She needs some time to get her ducks in a row(they have a very successful business together and children as well). But she will never sleep with him again.

She is currently in a "relationship" with another guy. She was honest with the "boyfriend" about her situation.

I am happy for her, and I hope that she feels no guilt whatsoever. She has told her husband that they are pretty much done(has not had sex with him since she found out about his multiple affairs).

[Anonymous]

No. Cheating is wrong.