Why do SAHMs need a nanny when their kids are in middle school?
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Anonymous
+1 |
Anonymous
| Not the OP but most of you sound really defensive. Maybe she honestly wanted to know but some of the responses were so ugly. |
Anonymous
The question was ugly. Not only in what it tried to imply about certain SAHMs but also because what it revealed about the OP's though process. The OP rescinded her right to polite answers. |
Anonymous
NP. OK, so I was going to remain just a lurker on this thread because it didn't seem likely that it could turn into a productive discussion or anything other than an extension of the mommy wars mudslinging, but this I just have to respond to. PP, seriously? Do you honestly think that “the OP rescinded her right to polite answers”? This is such the opposite of the attitude I’m trying to teach my kids. Short of a situation where someone’s physical safety is under threat I don’t think anyone can ‘rescind’ their basic right to polite and decent treatment. I’m teaching my girls that another person’s ugly attitude, rudeness, or lapse in manners is never an excuse or justification for their own standards of manners and politeness to slip. Just because OP seemed to have a nasty judgmental attitude doesn't mean anyone else’s posts had to take the same tone in response. Have you seen the other recent thread on this board, something like “shocked about social media”? I think this attitude of responding in kind or “well he/she started it” is part of the problem, honestly. My girls know that their behavior online is entirely under their control and therefore they will be held entirely responsible if they are being impolite or nasty in some way without significant justification -- meaning far stronger of a reason than “she was being nasty first”. |
Anonymous
But the point is you don't know, do you? No one would guess I have a chronic illness, but I do. I don't have a nanny, but if I ever needed one I would expect to not be judged for it. |
Anonymous
Your stating this, OP, tells me all I need to know about you. I detest when people toss out the 'I have such a demanding schedule/job/life' crap. Grow up OP. |
Anonymous
| I will answer. I am a former WAHM mom and now SAHM with a nanny. Our nanny has been with us for years and is family to us. At this point the kids are getting older and she has made herself indispensable with driving to various events, helping with cooking and basically helping with everything/anything that comes up. I am not going to lie, my life is smooth with her assistance and I not sure why this bothers people like OP. My nanny makes a lot of money, has health benefits/vacation. She also likes to travel with us esp now that the kids are older and she goes off on some of her own adventures. She asked a few years back if she could stay until her retirement as she doesn't want to work for another family at this point. She has been with us for so long she feels it would be hard emotionally to start again at her age. She has also seen from nanny friends that majority of parents treat their nannies as a maybe year or two job until daycare slot available or until school. This is hard on nannies who really fall in love with the kids. So I don't need a nanny but I have one because I am appreciative of all the years of service and we have found a way to create almost a new job. I am sure their are SAHM who are not involved in their kids lives but really I think is rare. Most SAHM I know are involved in school, activities, charity and also are go tos for their WM friends. Anyway, I get it that some people will judge but OP should get that I don't care. I am generally a happy person and my happiness is not dependent on judgy people. FWIW, this is the wonderful thing about turning 40, you just don't care. |
Anonymous
| You sound green OP. I've always worked in an office and tried to juggle everything. But, if a SAHM can afford a nanny and add to our economy -- she should be cheered not scolded. Why should women be slaves to everything? If they want a nanny then they should have one. |
Anonymous
Hear, hear. I also have a completely disabling but "invisible" illness. Could never afford a nanny thanks to the financial hit of disability, but Grandma takes on many of the same duties. Point is, you really never know what is going on in someone else's life. For those who are quick to judge other parents, you might be forming your judgments based on false assumptions about the situation. |
Anonymous
You must be loaded. You pay someone FT with benefits and pay for her vacations so she can go explore? Can I be your nanny? But seriously, where is her family? |
Anonymous
It's true that most rich moms can't be bothered with their kids. Most, but not all. |
Anonymous
+1. I see them at my kids' private school. They send the nannies to all the games. |
Anonymous
Please re-read the post you are replying to. Some, yes. Most, no. |
Anonymous
What's rich? We make close to $600k/yr--no babysitters or aftercare. I WAH full-time. I do all drop-offs, pick ups and driving to kid activities. K and 2nd grader. DH coaches one sports team a season. Assholes don't want to be around their kids. It's not a $ thing. |
Anonymous
Both of us attend each game--unless conflicting brother games. Local grandparents are usually there too. |