Don't spend any more time caring what your sil is doing. Worrying about things like this is just a waste. Go do something fun with your son. |
And MIL sounds like a control freak. |
Meh. Maybe mildly disrespectful to MIL. But (a) you (and SIL and MIL) have no idea how this will actually play out once there is a baby for SIL to "instruct," and (b) the level of disrespect here is 10000 leagues below the threshold for you to interfere. If you jump in, you will add needless drama. Your kid won't be confused ("Yes, SIL calls Nana "Grandma Sue.""). Put your feet up, grab the wine, and watch the show. |
I think most people agree that it's disrespectful but everyone agrees that you need to stay out of it and that your son will not be confused. It's normal to have a name your family calls you (mother, father, Grandma, etc.) and a name other people call you (Larla, Carl, Lorla, Ms. Humperdink). Also, if the person you're so put out with the DD of your MIL, you doubly need to stay out of it. If it's the wife of your MIL's DS, let you DH talk to his brother if you can't stand it. YOU definitely need to MYOB. |
Agreed. What, SIL isn't following the decisions you made and you are pissed? I highly doubt you are up in arms about the "disrespect to MIL." |
OP, I'm all for you jumping on this issue and nipping this horrible SIL in the bud. Please report back! |
What decision did I make? I didn't name my MIL. She chose her own name. |
Op, I have to agree with the pp's -- this is totally between your MIL and your SIL. If your SIL is talking to your son and refers to Grandma Jane and your son looks at you confused, you can just say to him "Nana" or whatever her name is and go back to whatever you are doing. No. Big. Deal. If your MIL is there and she is upset about it, then it is her place to discuss this with SIL. Or, perhaps, SIL's husband could discuss it with SIL (who I assume is MIL's son). I have skimmed the whole thread but I don't believe I've read anything that your MIL is really broken up about this. If she is, let the two of them (and your BIL) deal with this after the baby is born. As for your son, he sounds like he is dealing with it all just fine. You should find something else to worry about and I say this in the nicest way possible. |
Really?? Give your son a little credit. "Aidan, we call your grandmother Nana. Isabella calls your grandmother Grandma Barbara. Just like you call me Mommy, and Daddy calls me Jane." Who knows, SIL's kid will probably find her own name to call Grandma as she learns to talk. This doesn't have to be a big issue. Is part of your frustration that you wish that you had done what SIL is doing? You mentioned that you and DH don't care for the name MIL has Chloe's for herself. You went along with it. SIL set a boundary and is not. |
Chloe's = chosen |
You went along with it, honey. You sound like a wimp who is pissed that SIL doesn't put up with the same things you do. |
Regardless of how you feel about this, OP, they are mother and daughter and have their own dynamic going on. If I had a brother, and his wife was trying to tell me how to interact with my own mother, I'd be thinking "Shut the hell up and mind your own business." |
I'm not a big fan of "Bubby" but I let my DCs call my MIL that. I don't call her that myself. |
I'll bet there are other things you and your DH criticize about his brother and wife. Sibling rivalry never ends. ![]() |
17:47, I'm the poster to whom you are replying. Actually, we get along in our family. In no small part because we don't interfere in other relationships, and we respect each other enough to realize that we are each making decisions that work for our spouses and children. In functioning families, people don't waste their time critiquing every little choice other siblings make. It's sad that apparently in your family, people don't behave in that manner. |