SIL refuses to use MIL's "grandma" name

[Anonymous]

Oops 23:54 here. I do agree with the above PP. I managed to overlook that the SIL's child is not born yet. Yes, it is only the grandchildren who should be calling your MIL that grandma nickname. Her daughters and daughters-in-law should continue to call her what they have always called her.

[Anonymous]

SIL probably thinks MIL (and possibly OP) are demanding and/or high maintenance and is standing up for herself.

All my grandparents were Grandpa X or Grandma Y and I tend to think of fanciful grandparent nicknames (Nana, Poppy, etc.) as being a little silly. I guess the exceptions would be if a nickname truly emerged organically from a grandparent's name or if the grandparent were from another country (Abuelita, etc.).

[Anonymous]

Sister in law is being disrespectful. I think you should call people by what they want to be called.

But op you have no role in this. Stay out.

[Anonymous]

Eh, despite what the grandparents wanted to be called, my kid picked out her own names for them. Oh well.

[Anonymous]

I don't think SIL is being disrespectful. I grew up calling each grandmother "grandma name." "Grandma" was just more common than nanna or anything else. It's really not a big deal

[Anonymous]

My BIL/SIL hate the grandma name that my (now 6 year old) dd gave to grandma because she couldn't say grandma. Our second child was born around the same time as my niece and my second child calls grandma the same thing my first child does and their dd calls her (per BIL and SIL) Grandmommy Firstname. I think it's a mouthful, but I honestly do not care that cousins call grandma something entirely different. Let it go, this isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of things.

[Anonymous]

Why do you care? Between them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Eh, despite what the grandparents wanted to be called, my kid picked out her own names for them. Oh well.

This is what I was thinking. With the first grandchild in our family, one set of grandparents picked out elaborate and somewhat absurd grandparent names for themselves. Grandchild promptly jettisoned those names.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oops 23:54 here. I do agree with the above PP. I managed to overlook that the SIL's child is not born yet. Yes, it is only the grandchildren who should be calling your MIL that grandma nickname. Her daughters and daughters-in-law should continue to call her what they have always called her.

I think you are misunderstanding. My SIL is my sons aunt. When she refers to my MIL, she does not use the grandma name that my MiL chose. Not only that, but she has declared that she will not use the name with her child. When there are no children around, of course she just uses my MiLs first name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh, despite what the grandparents wanted to be called, my kid picked out her own names for them. Oh well.

This is what I was thinking. With the first grandchild in our family, one set of grandparents picked out elaborate and somewhat absurd grandparent names for themselves. Grandchild promptly jettisoned those names.

I think that is totally fine. But not when the mother of the grandchild I'd trying to feed the child a name that doesn't exist just because she doesn't like the one that her MiL chose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think SIL is being disrespectful. I grew up calling each grandmother "grandma name." "Grandma" was just more common than nanna or anything else. It's really not a big deal

If your grandma sue wanted to be called nana, but your mom decided that she didn't like that and insisted that you call her grandma sue instead of nana, you don't think that your mom is being disrespectful to your mother in law?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:SIL probably thinks MIL (and possibly OP) are demanding and/or high maintenance and is standing up for herself.

All my grandparents were Grandpa X or Grandma Y and I tend to think of fanciful grandparent nicknames (Nana, Poppy, etc.) as being a little silly. I guess the exceptions would be if a nickname truly emerged organically from a grandparent's name or if the grandparent were from another country (Abuelita, etc.).

How in the world would MIL or OP be high maintenance when neither has said a word to SIL about this? Yes it bothers me that my SIL feeds a different name to my son, who knows his grandmother By a different name, but I have never corrected her. And I'm not sure that MIL has ever heard it. Don't just to conclusions. All I asked is it I should stay out of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Mind your own business.
You are just mad that you blindly listened.

This does not even make sense. If your mom decided that she wanted to be called nana, you would just ignore her and call her grandma she?

[Anonymous]

I loathe the name my MIL chose to go by, my husband doesn't like it either. I suck it up and use it though. My husband did ask if I could teach our daughter to call her grandma as his Christmas present.

I think kids can understand that people have more than one name. My daughter knows that I'm mommy, but that I also have a first name. She knows her name is both her full name and her nickname. Your kid will understand that both names for grandma are the same person. I'd no more get involved in a SiL-MIL dispute then I'd get involved in a land war in Asia.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oops 23:54 here. I do agree with the above PP. I managed to overlook that the SIL's child is not born yet. Yes, it is only the grandchildren who should be calling your MIL that grandma nickname. Her daughters and daughters-in-law should continue to call her what they have always called her.

I think you are misunderstanding. My SIL is my sons aunt. When she refers to my MIL, she does not use the grandma name that my MiL chose. Not only that, but she has declared that she will not use the name with her child. When there are no children around, of course she just uses my MiLs first name.

Am I misunderstanding, or is one of your points of contention that when SIL is around your son and speaking to him or in his presence, she doesn't refer to Grandma in the same way that he does?