SIL refuses to use MIL's "grandma" name

[Anonymous]

OP, why should this be any of your business?????????

Your SIL and her child's grandmother will figure this out.

Each family has their own system for naming Grandparents since they usually try to dovetail the names for all 4.

We are a Eurasian family and have different cultural names for my children's European grandparents and their Asian grandparents. The Asian grandparents have other grandchildren that refer to them in a slightly different way, but nobody minds or thinks one way is more respectful than the other!

OP, you are so lucky not to have REAL problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe OP has real problems she should be addressing. and this serves as an escape.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe OP has real problems she should be addressing. and this serves as an escape.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My MIL has one grandchild (my child) and gave herself her "grandma name" which we use. I don't particularly care for it, but it is the name that her kids called her mother and it is what she wanted. Sister in law refuses to use it and now with a child on the way, plans to just refer to my MIL as "grandma first name". I find this entirely disrespectful. I just have to sit this out and keep my mouth shut, right?

Why do you care, and why is it your business?

[Anonymous]

How can no one have asked what grandma wants to be called????

Try this, OP: maybe your SIL has reasons why she wants her child to call his/her grandmothers "grandma." Maybe she has a motivation that has nothing at all do with pissing you or your mother off. Maybe she had a great relationship with her grandmothers, or maybe she had no grandmothers, or maybe it gives her joy just to hear the name "grandma." Regardless, I agree that manufactured family drama is overabundant and that life would be easier and much more pleasant if we could all not ascribe motive and just take things and people as they are.

[Anonymous]

Also, your mother has her own reasons for wanting that name, and they are nice. But they are selfish. That's not a bad thing, but your SIL is allowed to be selfish, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Eh, despite what the grandparents wanted to be called, my kid picked out her own names for them. Oh well.

This is what I was thinking. With the first grandchild in our family, one set of grandparents picked out elaborate and somewhat absurd grandparent names for themselves. Grandchild promptly jettisoned those names.

+1

I remember working out with my brother what our parents would be called. Eventually my daughter and his son came up with their version of names for our parents.

Wait until the kids are talking and just let the name happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oops 23:54 here. I do agree with the above PP. I managed to overlook that the SIL's child is not born yet. Yes, it is only the grandchildren who should be calling your MIL that grandma nickname. Her daughters and daughters-in-law should continue to call her what they have always called her.

I think you are misunderstanding. My SIL is my sons aunt. When she refers to my MIL, she does not use the grandma name that my MiL chose. Not only that, but she has declared that she will not use the name with her child. When there are no children around, of course she just uses my MiLs first name.

It's time for a life lesson here. Different people call others by different names depending on relationships. Teacger calls Mommy Jane, but you call her Mommy. Aunt Jackie calls Nana Mary, but you call her Nana. Dr. Jones calls Daddy Mr. Smith, you call him Daddy. We're all the same people, but different people have different names for us.

Done. Now your family calls your MIL whatever you want. SIL and her family calls your MIL whatever they want. There's only a problem if MIL objects to one of the names, then it is between her and that family. In this case, what your SIL and her family calls your MIL is none of your business. You just explain to your children that Aunt Jackie uses a different name for Nana and you're done.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Truly shocked that I am in the minority. Thanks for the feedback.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Truly shocked that I am in the minority. Thanks for the feedback.

I think you are probably pissed at your son being displaced by the new baby. Let me guess....SIL is having a girl?

[Anonymous]

Well, I think your SIL is crazy too but there is nothing you can do about it. MYOB or you will get into more drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Truly shocked that I am in the minority. Thanks for the feedback.

Truly shocked? I am truly shocked that you have any thought or opinion on this at all. Really. What a non issue this is OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Truly shocked that I am in the minority. Thanks for the feedback.

I think you are probably pissed at your son being displaced by the new baby. Let me guess....SIL is having a girl?

I'm not pissed about anything. And no it is not a girl. I think first that it is disrespectful to my MIL and I think it is confusing to my son. Thanks so much for your post.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I think your SIL is crazy too but there is nothing you can do about it. MYOB or you will get into more drama.

Thanks - this is kind if response that I was looking for...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Truly shocked that I am in the minority. Thanks for the feedback.

Truly shocked? I am truly shocked that you have any thought or opinion on this at all. Really. What a non issue this is OP.

Yep, shocked that most don't find is respectful to my MIL.